Really need prayers

[AutumnDreamer]

I mean reevaluating whether I love him for who he is now, or whether it's just because of words and actions. Every married couple needs to reevaluate this from time to time.

I went through a time where I did not like my husband very much, he was never home, he worked 80+ hours a week, I felt like a single mom, but I never questioned my love for him. My love for him has never changed, and never needed to be re evaluated. I suspect you will find this is true with most Christian couples that are legally married. You haven't answered the question though, would you be re evaluating your love for him or your relationship if you were legally married? You made a vow before God and have consumated that vow by becoming one with this man. You are married, even without a legal document. You have said this yourself. What if you discover that you are in fact not in love with him anymore? What if in re evaluating you discover you can not fall in love with him again? Will you end the relationship? Or like a legally married couple will you do whatever you have to do in order to save the marriage? This is what I am trying to understand, in other posts you have said that you are living like you are already married, but now when things get to where you don't like where they are going you want to step back and re evaluate.

 

[littlemrs]

The thing is, though, that you've still not answered the question, what if you don't fall "in love" with him again? Are you going to continue in the relationship? If not, then what about all the things you've said in the past about your relationship being a covenant before the Lord, with the only grounds for breaking the engagement being the grounds for a Biblical divorce?

 

[invisiblebabe]

I like INFP's

I think I know what you are saying. (although I think whether or not you have lived together is irrelevant... ask military wives, what they have is just as much marriage as anyone else! )


My bipolar disorder has gotten a lot worse over the time I have known my husband... so I have an inkling of just how difficult it can be. Praying that you stay strong.

-kayli

 

[Cynthia85]

I mean reevaluating whether I love him for who he is now, or whether it's just because of words and actions. Every married couple needs to reevaluate this from time to time.

Who told you this? Not a single married couple has ever told me this. What they have told me is that every single day, they make the choice to love their spouse. For them, there is no "reevaluating": they made the commitment, so they stick by that decision. It's a promise that they made to each other and to God. At that point, it doesn't even matter WHY they love each other, they just do because they made they promised to do it.

I have my best friend next to me, who's married. She agrees with what I just typed. A lot of it came from her. She says that sometimes, you have to choose to love them despite their problems, despite their circumstances and even dispite what other people think.

The point is this: none of the married couples I know have ever "reevaluated" thier marriage. They choose to love one another. "Reevaluation" is no where in Scripture. Loving unconditionally is. Choosing to love despite any faults is scriptural. So you need to decide now if you can make that decision and that choice. Because that's what marriage is about. And all this is coming from married people.