Dear Lost,
Praying for you. Also, just would like to say that the bit in the bible about what to think about - this portion below from:
BibleGateway.com - PassageLookup: Philippians 4:8-9;
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirableif anything is excellent or praiseworthythink about such things. 9Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in meput it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.
That is a way to help your mind to think about good things. When I first came to Christ and read this verse I used to lay in bed trying to think of these things above and couldn't think of anything good or noble etc.
Finally I started thinking well, babies are good. It's funny now, looking back, but see I had just come to Christ and never knew anything good, or noble etc, and hadn't gotten to know much about God yet as hadn't yet read about Him.
Now, when I think of good, the first thing comes to my mind is God and well, yeah, I still think of babies and good things people do and good things God has done is doing and will do.
Wherever our minds dwell on is where our head and heart is, so to be free of thinking of evil, counteract that with thinking of things in the verse above and praying to God throughout this time as well.
If you have been hurt or burned in any way which has caused you to only see evil in the bible; know that often happens to people and healing needs to occur in time. It may be that you can talk with a good friend, maybe a pastor etc and with God if you can.
One time there came a point when all the bible seemed to do was scream at me, and it was due to a church I was going to where the pastor did just that through sermons. I couldn't read the bible for some time as it just always condemned me.
It took me a long time to be able to heal from seeing the bible and God the way that person did, and I remember it was the book of Galatians that finally spoke to my heart and I was free from that feeling of condemnation which surely never comes from God.
Bless you,
tapero
Edited to add:. I am sorry I did not realize I was in prayer requests forum, I thought I was in the recovery forums hence the long reply.