Reality check.....

[joeman1]

thats why these types of things are personal decisions. what works for some doesn't work for others. I am still not sure as to where I stand but you can't come down on someone just for their beliefs.

 

[Justin04]

Less than Eight?!? That's quite a few people to have slept with... I mean, people who don't come to Christ until later in life are bound to have sexual histories that overshadow other Christians, but eight is a lot even then!

I've had such a bad sexual history myself, I wouldnt expect someone to be more faithful then I have been. I through out the number 8 just cause to me anything more then that sounds like a lot. I know I've never really tried to start a sexual relationship with anyone, never iniciated anything and I've been with I guess what would seem like quiet a few people. Girls are normally the ones being persued by the guys so I'd suspect if shes anything like me shes slept with a lot more then 8 people, if that makes sense.

I honestly dont think I could relate to a virgin, in marriage not in life. I wouldnt want to always feel like I'm some terrible person cause somebody waited for me and I never waited for them.

 

[Sascha Fitzpatrick]

I did wait for who I THOUGHT would be my future spouse - God help the guy who gets upset at me for not waiting to kiss HIM!!!

It's the past - work through those feelings of comparison, pray, forgive, get over it!!!

Of course, if you were DATING that person at the time they were kissing/sleeping with someone else - THEN you have a right to be upset!

Maybe it's just my mood today, but all this talk of being upset over someone else's past behaviours just seems REALLY immature to me

Sasch

 

[Paul 888]

I used to care massively about my girlfriends past experiences, like it just used to eat me up inside so so badly, when i was 20-25 years old and with a girl that was my first, and i was her second. I guess cause i was very very very pure back at that age

Now i would not care at all, i have not been good at all over the last 2 years, so how could i judge someone else who hadn't as well....... i would not want to know to be honest, unless it was with someone i knew

I did have a dream once where i kissed 100 girls in a row and the final one was the one i was meant to be with but because i had kissed so many other girls it felt like/meant nothing (i have very intense dreams)...... i wish i was pure again, but now that i am not it kind of doesn't matter anymore i guess

 

[Stanfi]

I say take off the rose colored glasses, wake up from the pipe dream. Most people have met people, and been romantically involved with people. They haven't been sitting in their front yard waiting for Mr. or Mrs Right to float down.

Personally, I don't quite understand why people want to judge people so hard for being promiscous or kissing, apparently. What if that someone used to be a patheolgical liar? I mean, sin is sin in God eyes. It ALL seperates us from God. However, we need to be willing to forgive as he forgives.

 

[MrsGnomeCrusher]

Less than Eight?!? That's quite a few people to have slept with... I mean, people who don't come to Christ until later in life are bound to have sexual histories that overshadow other Christians, but eight is a lot even then!

I really think this comment is inappropriate. I don't think it is your place, or anyone else's place here, to state whether having 1, 8 or a 100 different partners is "a lot." Passing judgement isn't our place.

Perhaps that's not how you're meaning the post, rather how I'm reading it.

 

[invisiblebabe]

I liked that book. As with all books in that category, there were parts I related to more than others though. I would not be upset to find that my husband had kissed other girls. I fully expect him to have kissed other girls. Then again, I've kissed other guys and it wouldnt' be fair of me to expect something like that from him if I haven't held myself to the same "standard".

I totally agree

Having not kissed anyone myself (by choice, not lack of opportunity, mind you), I would not be thrilled to know my husband had kissed other girls...but I'd get over it.

To turn the discussion to a slightly different topic, do you expect to be your husband's first true love? As for myself, it would be nice, but given Jen's statement, I can't expect it. <_<

 

[Out of the Flames]

I really think this comment is inappropriate. I don't think it is your place, or anyone else's place here, to state whether having 1, 8 or a 100 different partners is "a lot." Passing judgement isn't our place.

Perhaps that's not how you're meaning the post, rather how I'm reading it.

Yeah, the wording was a little off. But I'm not judging at all. I just looked at the age of the poster and was stunned for a second. Like I said, I'm no angel myself, so I wouldn't dream of passing judgement on anyone who's had any number of partners, be it 4 or 40. What's important is how they're doing now.

And to the poster who said that they couldn't relate to a virgin in marriage because they'd feel like an awful person for not waiting even though that person waited for you, I understand how you feel, but you just have to let it go. If you've been straight with your future wife about your past and you've repented, and she still chooses to be with you, you have nothing to feel bad about.

 

[MrsGnomeCrusher]

What's important is how they're doing now.

I agree.

And to the poster who said that they couldn't relate to a virgin in marriage because they'd feel like an awful person for not waiting even though that person waited for you, I understand how you feel, but you just have to let it go. If you've been straight with your future wife about your past and you've repented, and she still chooses to be with you, you have nothing to feel bad about.

I think all of us with a past can relate, but what OoF's stated is correct. Once repented, you need to let this go. If your future wife cannot accept you, with your past, then perhaps she isn't meant to be your Mrs.