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[Mebby01]

I have a problem I have been pretty bad lately l have been having sex with guys. I know its a sin and shouldn't be doing it l know its wrong l wish l could stop. Someone help me

 

[Henaynei]

Dear posters,

Please be scruplous in keeping the communication in this thread within the CF rules. Trolling and disruptive posts will not be tolerated. Keep replies and posts focused on the solution and not the "act."

b'Shalom
Henaynei
Moderator

 

[Melody Joy]

a few years ago I was sexually active with guys. I was not happy. I was running from God, ignoring Him. I'm just guessing that you aren't happy either. And you are trying to break free from this because you are here. I wish I had found these forums back then. I look back on that time of my life as the saddest time. I wanted to feel accepted and loved so much that I risked getting diseases and getting pregnant to get it. I did end up having 2 STD's. I didn't have any symptoms from them but if they had been untreated I could have been left infertile or worse. But worse than that is the emotional scars that have remained. I sometimes have a flashback of a memory of someone or situation and get so upset. I am getting married next month and truly wish I had saved myself. I know that is not something you can do now, but you can stop and stop any more damage from being done. Yes it is much harder said than done I know. But you know how you wish you could go back in time and tell yourself do not do something? I wish I could do that. I would go tell myself that I am causing so much heartache and pain from a few minutes of pleasure. And did I ever feel good about myself when it was over?? NEVER. I felt worse than before!! Its a good thing that you came here for advice, it means you want to change. This is just my experience. Maybe someone else will have something else helpful. PM me anytime if you want!!!

 

[bliz]

I'm so sorry to hear this. I'm sure this is very painful for you. If you were having a great time, you wouldn't be posting here and asking for help.

Please know: God loves you very much.
If you ask Him to, God will forgive your sin.
He will forgive you even if you repent and fall into sin again.

Sexual sins are not in and of themselves worse sins than any others, but sexual sins carry with them a lot of unique consequences and becasue our sexuality is integral to who we are, sexual sins invade every aspect of our lives.

I think you need someone flesh and blood you can talk to and someone who can help hold you accountable. A Christian counselor, or therapist or a pastor. Someone in counseling can help you figure out why you are doing this - why are you so driven to have sex even when you know it is wrong? Knowing why you do it can help you begin to make the choice to not do it. Are such people available to you in your community?

 

[phoenix_kid82]

Hi :-S

Sorry if i'm blowing in here, i'm not sure if this will help or add to this rolling snowball.

I'm 22 (very soon) and i became Christian (again) almost 2 years ago. A year ago, i left my defacto boyfriend of almost 4 years, and it was sooooo hard, it got messy, he tried to od, u can imagine. Aaaaanyway...since then i thought "yeah i can do this Christian thing standing on my head, i won't fall into that kind of sin" and i stopped drinking like i use to and i decided i wouldn't take drugs again. Piece of cake. Oh, and i wouldn't be sexually active anymore.

So, this year was the year i wanted to make God proud of me. I made my resolutions.

I've stuffed up since with 4 different guys, and the latest one, i've been seeing for 5 weeks now. I've been out and gotten ridiculously drunk, i've had my drink spiked with GBH, and was taken advantage of.

Usually, i put myself on this huge guilt trip cos i don't wanna take sin lightly, but i seem to feel more guilty because i don't feel guilty about my sin because i know that i want to do it again, that i'll probably do it again, so i feel like the biggest hypocrite going to church and singing praises to God about how i want to lay my life down etc etc.

But when i stuffed up with this guy 5 weeks ago, i just stopped trying to be good. I don't know if that's a good or bad thing yet.

So i got very real with God. I was coming home from his place a few weeks ago, and usually i don't want to talk to God after i've been bad.

But i started talking to Him, and i felt like Jesus was walking beside me in the rain, and he was just happy that i was talking to Him. Me, a sinner, someone who was so far from the "ideal Christian", could give Jesus pleasure just by talking to Him like a friend. Then i understood the whole point of Christianity. He died so we could come back into fellowship with God, which is what He created us for. We give Him pleasure.

!?

I'm in the process of working up the courage to tell a pastor or a close mature friend, it's soooo hard cos i do have some sense of shame about it all, i know i've been bad.

But i know that no ones words or revelations are going to help me, no kind of psych up or a "good Christian" response, or a reminder of the seriousness of my sin. But just getting real with God, and at those times, at my dirtiest, even if i stopped caring, Jesus is there wanting to love me. It's His love alone that will change me.

Again, i don't know if this has helped, but after several paragraphs of waffling, i think i'm trying to say it's God and God alone who can help you, no one else, no books (although they can assist), no head knowledge, but God.

Cheers

Wasabi_Cupcake

 

[cynjo59]

Wasabi_Cupcake- you are so right- it is only when we get "real" with Jesus that we can be helped. And Mebby, He's waiting for you with open arms. How awesome is that!?

 

[startingover]

I was a very promiscuous teenager. I married when I was 18 and now am getting divorced at 21. Let me tell you, the first thing you need to do is repent. You know you are wrong. Second, find someone you can be accoutable to. Someone that you can call if you are faced with temptation and that will call you every week to see how you are doing. Stay away from places that lead to sexual sin. I know how hard it is. I have done many things that I am not proud of. Do you want your future husband behaving like this? Do you want your family to know? Maybe find a Bible study about temptation. Every day, make a conscious effort to not engage in sexual sin. Push lustful thoughts out of your head. Avoid contact with those men who you are or have been intimate with. (It's a lot harder saying no to someone that you have already had sex with.) Good luck!

 

[HomeChicklet]

i am only 14 and the struggle of staying a vrigin is a big fight of mine. Nine months ago i got really involved with a guy on the computer.. .. and we had cyber sex alot... now i know that its not the same but since that i have wanted to have sex more. I fight it alot and a week ago i found a good christian bf. he is 16 ( in two months) still a virgin and strong with his walk.. We are so happy together and we both are struggling with the want but encouraging each other to say no.... i really dont know how to tell you exactly.. but all i can say is this... from here on out say no... find a friend you can really really trust to keep you accountable... like in my case it is my boyfriend the closest person to me... secondly... God is waiting like said above with open arms just patiently waiting for you to come to Him and ask for forgivness... and when you ask for it it is given in the Bible it says your sins are thrown into the sea as far from the east to the west... now how awesome is that? Remember that Jesus died on the cross for you with your name on His lips and your sins on his shoulders... he took on the burden that we could never take on... He died so that no matter what we do or did we always have a okace to turn to and one day we will go into heaven with him and live with him there for ETERNITY NEVER AGAIN DEALING WITH PROBLEMS!! now that is awesome too... know that i am here for you if you ever just need to vent or talk to someone or if you just need prayer PM me and i will get it.... i promise that... i love you in Christ and I really care about you i will be praying

love always
HomeChicklet

 

[black-sheep]

Jesus died 2 save us
2 save us of sin
if u admit that uv sined and truely be sorry and keep ur relationship with god strong then ... YOUVE WON
sorry thats a bit all over the place
but i have 2 say that


GOD LUVS YOU ,WHATEVER THE CERCUMSTANCE and with watevr u do/ have done in the past
we luv u 2 ill keep u in my prayers

 

[mrshoward]

Mebby01, i struggled with sexual sin for years. i broke up two marriages with it. It was a compulsion for me, and it was NOT about the physical act of sex, it was all about power and betrayal and trying to feel better about myself. I could not tell you how ashamed I am of myself for this. God let me fall as far as I could until i was ready to quit and sick of myself. Christian counseling helped me enormously. You may be trying to feed an emotional/spiritual hunger.

With Christ's help, I was able to get through a year of celibacy and then met the met I'm married to now---and I've been faithful to him for 4 years. I've never been faithful to any relationship before. So this is a real miracle of healing.

I know you are hurting and I am praying for you right now.

"If the Son has set you free, you are free indeed." I've been set free from sexual sin.

 

[Superman117]

I recommend that you seek a mental health professional. A psychiatrist. These people are equipped to deal with gays, lesbians and bisexuals who are dealing with sexuality confusion. They are trained professionals. YOUR needs come first. Understanding them is key. What you decide from there is up to you but YOU need to understand what is happening to you. It's YOUR life.

 

[LilRitt04]

I have a problem I have been pretty bad lately l have been having sex with guys. I know its a sin and shouldn't be doing it l know its wrong l wish l could stop. Someone help me

Honey, I know where you are at! You can stop, you can give it up to God. It is not going to be easy and it will be a challange but at the sametime you have too. God hates the sin, but loves the sinner. God is a forgiving God... Always remember that!

I got to a point in that mess that I just gave it to God. I was in a worship service and I had just broken up with the guy that I was having sex with, and I reached a point and I gave it to God. I just gave it ALL to him. Thats what you have to do. You have to pray...have your own conversation with God...talk to a friend tell him or her your struggles and have them pray with you. I put all of my worries and doubts and relationships at the foot of the cross. I cried for hours...and after that I realized that the God I serve is sooo much better then having a hour of pleasure with someone that wasnt my husband! Dont let your guard down. As a Christian we are to glorify God...not ourselves.

My advice to you would be...(this may sound harsh) but to get out of the relationships you are in, move on, give everything to Christ, and set your standards HIGH for the next guy that may come along! Good Luck

Jenn

 

[monkeystink]

praying for you sister.

Eric

 

[madison1101]

I was sexually active in high school, and learned it was a result of being molested at 15. Any type of sexual abuse can trigger sexual acting out in people. I took on a shame based identity that said I was a tramp, and only deserved to be treated as a sex object by guys. It is a lie of the devil, and took my many years of psychotherapy and prayer and studying scripture to find anything close to healing.

Ask the Lord for help in finding someone you can talk to about this issue.

 

[ascribe2thelord]

i am only 14 and the struggle of staying a vrigin is a big fight of mine. Nine months ago i got really involved with a guy on the computer.. .. and we had cyber sex alot... now i know that its not the same but since that i have wanted to have sex more. I fight it alot and a week ago i found a good christian bf. he is 16 ( in two months) still a virgin and strong with his walk.. We are so happy together and we both are struggling with the want but encouraging each other to say no.... i really dont know how to tell you exactly.. but all i can say is this... from here on out say no... find a friend you can really really trust to keep you accountable... like in my case it is my boyfriend the closest person to me... secondly... God is waiting like said above with open arms just patiently waiting for you to come to Him and ask for forgivness... and when you ask for it it is given in the Bible it says your sins are thrown into the sea as far from the east to the west... now how awesome is that? Remember that Jesus died on the cross for you with your name on His lips and your sins on his shoulders... he took on the burden that we could never take on... He died so that no matter what we do or did we always have a okace to turn to and one day we will go into heaven with him and live with him there for ETERNITY NEVER AGAIN DEALING WITH PROBLEMS!! now that is awesome too... know that i am here for you if you ever just need to vent or talk to someone or if you just need prayer PM me and i will get it.... i promise that... i love you in Christ and I really care about you i will be praying

love always
HomeChicklet

I thank God for him being in your life

 

[LilRitt04]

I know what you mean. Within the last year I have had sex over 20 times. At the time I was 16-17...I knew it was wrong, I knew what I was doing was stupid, I knew that it was crazy. My parents are really into church. At the time I had no respect for my Mom or my Step-Dad. I favored my biological father only because he didnt care what I did. I took it upon myself to break the relationship up, and I did. As soon as I distanced myself from that person I noticed a difference in my walk with Christ, with my parents...sexually.

I think you should:
1. Take it upon yourself to distance yourself from the people you are hanging out with...
There is a old saying that "You are who you hang out with" If you hang out with people that have sex, you will end up turning into that. You need to pick and choose your friends wisely. Guys come and go but friends will always be there.
2. Stay strong.
Once you step back and you realize that what you are doing/did was wrong...stay strong and dont look back. If you look back its like you threw a piece of bubble gum away and you want it back because its your last piece...so you go get it out of the trash. Nasty as it may sound, that is what Christian today do. Lay your pain, suffering, unhapiness...give it all to Christ, and dont go back and get it...Stay strong!
3. Strengthen your Christianity
Find Christian friends and go out and have a good time with them. They will be a good influence on you, and they will help you through it.

Those 3 steps are the same thing I did, and I got through it. Its just takes prayer and believing that you can get through. Its says in:

Phillipians 4:13 "I can do A L L things through Christ who strengthens me"​

If you follow this you will get through it all...God bless​

​

~*JeNn*~​

 

[Glorianna]

I have a problem I have been pretty bad lately l have been having sex with guys. I know its a sin and shouldn't be doing it l know its wrong l wish l could stop. Someone help me

First of all you have to WANT to stop. Nobody can help you until you actually want to. But when you do, it's a lot easier. God will help you if you ask Him to. He's always there by your side and remembering this can help to keep you accountable. I'll be praying for you.

 

[carmi]

I have a problem I have been pretty bad lately l have been having sex with guys. I know its a sin and shouldn't be doing it l know its wrong l wish l could stop. Someone help me

The reason you have sex with guys is NOT because you want to sin. Otherwise you would not post this here. I think you have another reason. Sex is an intimate act, where you are very close with/to someone.

Some have a stronger sexual desire, for others the desire for sex is less pressing. But we all have the desire to love and be loved, to be close to someone. If someone finds us attractive, physically attractive we find ourselves accepted. If someone does not like us, is not attracted to us, feelings of rejection come up. We feel left out and lonely.

So, sometimes we can confuse sex with love. You understand I cannot be sure on this, I can only give you my opinion. But maybe you have sex with guys because you want to love and be loved. And sometimes people put conditions to love and say "If you really loved me, you would ..." Some people require a proof, a physical proof for feelings.

Maybe remind yourself that your feelings are valid without you having to proof them to yourself or to a guy. There is not only physical intimacy. You can also be intimate with someone on another level. Taking a walk together, just spending time together and talking can provide you with intimacy.

Also remind yourself that God loves you. You are already loved and accepted by Him.

 

[psalms 91]

when you want to have sex remember how it made you feel afterwards. draw closer to god as he will give you love and closeness. draw close to your church friends. it will be ok because christ will help you.