Rape **Trigger Warning**

[Bluerose31]

I have been suffering thinking of my past rapes. When I was kidnapped by Silver there was a young man in his 30s who lived with her who raped me almost every day for about a year. He was a Spanish man and slender but very strong. He had long dark hair and he was terrifying to me. He would rape me and call me evil over and over again. He would hurt my heart very badly and tell me I was evil and a evil person. He told me I was not beautiful and that others were more beautiful than me. He told me that He would damage me very badly and that my soul would be very hurt. He called me cruel names and hurt my soul. I am still healing from the rapes from Kevin. In my heart when he was hurting me I was in love with Caleb. I was praying to God in my heart. I still feel hurt that I was sexually violated so much. I still feel something is wrong with me at times and that I am different from other people at times, even though I know my heart is pure.

 

[Kristen.NewCreation]

Rape can definitely impact one's sexual experiences and for lots of men and women, makes it incredibly difficult to be physically and emotionally intimate. Have you found anything in particular that helps with intimacy for you? Are there particular struggles that keep reoccurring for you in your relationship?

 

[Bluerose31]

Rape can definitely impact one's sexual experiences and for lots of men and women, makes it incredibly difficult to be physically and emotionally intimate. Have you found anything in particular that helps with intimacy for you? Are there particular struggles that keep reoccurring for you in your relationship?

Thank you for your words. Caleb is very gentle with me and both me and Caleb pray at night and read the Bible and he is gentle with me when we are intimate. He understands I have been hurt very badly sexually and he treats me very gently. Sometimes I feel fear about sex but Caleb reads books about sexual abuse with me and helps me see I am not alone and that others that have been raped and abused have fears about sex and sometimes do not feel beautiful. Caleb is very loving and an angel and he is helping to heal me.

 

[Brotherly Spirit]

Remember you're blameless and shameless before God. Long as you have goodness in you and well-intended, then there's not any reason to doubt yourself or him. God's love is unconditional to all who're open to accept it and this love is merciful being full of compassion and forgiveness. I'm sorry for what happened and I hope you continue to heal. It's nice you found someone to help you through it and be there for you. Bless both of you!

 

[Bluerose31]

Remember you're blameless and shameless before God. Long as you have goodness in you and well-intended, then there's not any reason to doubt yourself or him. God's love is unconditional to all who're open to accept it and this love is merciful being full of compassion and forgiveness. I'm sorry for what happened and I hope you continue to heal. It's nice you found someone to help you through it and be there for you. Bless both of you!

Thank you so much for your kind and beautiful words. Hugs