Rant + Seeking Advice

[gibbs]

Hey all:

I'm curious for some advice. *gets on soapbox.* All the time, *often* the older folk talk about how us younger people don't have "life experience" or blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, etc because we are young. I'm kinda sick of being told that because I'm young I don't know 'x' or understand 'y' about relationships. *Gets off soapbox*

Now, even though I often feel shut down by that (and I hope I don't get condesending posts to this topic ), I have to be honest and realize that I have a lot to learn about relationships. Being many people in here are older, and have more *life experience* than me, maybe instead of saying "rawr...you don't know 'x' or 'y'," could we try to share those things?....I don't know a lot of things...but I want to learn!

I guess in short, I'm curious to hear suggestions from others. I know it is a general topic, but let's give it a shot. I guess I've just felt like I'm often looked down on here because I'm younger, and felt that people don't respect that I may be truely seeking God's will in a long term relationship. So, are there things you would like to share with a semi-younger group? How to seek God in a relationship...how to serve the other person....how to grow to be strong together....etc....etc...etc...

And, as a disclaimer, I hope that I haven't offended people. I know that I've been kind of harsh...I've felt looked down on, simply because of my age. I hope I haven't been too harsh with people. I just want to learn those things you folks have to offer. Do you mind sharing? What things would you like to teach me and people my age about relationships?

God Bless you,

Eric

 

[Inperfected]

I'm often looked down on here because I'm younger, and felt that people don't respect that I may be truely seeking God's will in a long term relationship.

For a "slightly" older perspective.

The think I find about the majority of "younger people "is that in trying to seek God in a long term relationship, they look to him only.. I say this cos i also did the same, and got the same replies as you've had. The problem isn't seeking god, but only seeking him. A part of finding out Gods will (I believe) is to ask mature christian counsel, and if it fits witht he bible, you have peace (and a thing or two i can't remember).

 

[gibbs]

For a "slightly" older perspective.

The think I find about the majority of "younger people "is that in trying to seek God in a long term relationship, they look to him only.. I say this cos i also did the same, and got the same replies as you've had. The problem isn't seeking god, but only seeking him. A part of finding out Gods will (I believe) is to ask mature christian counsel, and if it fits witht he bible, you have peace (and a thing or two i can't remember).

Yeah, what I tend to go by when I feel like God is trying to tell me something is 1)Shut up and listen!, 2)does what He is saying match with the bible?, and 3) does what He is saying stand in agreement with other mature Christians?

I guess one way we're trying to bring that into our relationship is by actively seeking the advice and guidance of youth leaders, parents, church family, etc.

Clarification: Do you mean that we/I should try to varify what I'm 'hearing from God' with the bible, Christians, etc, and get advice and help from mature Christians? Or, do you mean something about, um, idn, something else?

 

[Maeyken]

I think part of the reasoning behind other people telling you that you don't know x or y about z is that they are trying in their own way to help you avoid making the same mistakes they did. In some cases it will work, and in some it won't. Sometimes you just have to make the mistake yourself to really learn it.

I understand your frustration, however it's important to remember that people are sharing their own experiences, and trying to help you, even though sometimes it may come across as feeling more like an attack. It's hard, especially on the internet to communicate experiences effectively.

 

[TheHealer86]

1Ti 4:12 Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.

Two things, be encouraged by this verse and don't let yourself get down. Secondly, Paul gives a command there; make yourself an example to all believers in speech, conduct, love, faith, and purity. So not only don't let yourself get down, but be proactive in being an example for those who look down upon you. Who knows, in time and dilligence they just may be looking up at you.

 

[JVD]

From a MUCH older perspective.

Older people generally DO know more about things just because they have had more time to learn them.

That doesn't mean that the older people don't also make mistakes, or that their advice is always correct. Take all advice with a grain of salt, and evaluate it, think about it, and see if it might fit your situation.

If you get the same advice from many older people, a wise person would heed it.

I still ask for advice from my Dad, and he is 76. He always give his advice in the same way. He knows it's just advice and I have no obligation to follow it and he isn't offended if I don't.

But seeking advice from more experienced people is just plain smart. Ignoring advice from people who have already walked the path your are beginning is folly.

On the other hand, it is the young people of this world who make changes, and often they make these changes against advice of the elders. Most new discoveries, inventions, and theories are developed by younger people who did not follow all the old time methods.

So use your young creative mind in a positive way to make good changes, but don't let it's rebelliousness lead you to mistakes. There are not many new ways to go about relationships so a wise person beginning a new relationship would seek out the advice of many experienced people.