Random Thread of Randomness! (30)

[Gregged]

You talk to fish?

 

[JPPT1974]

Yeah what kind of fish?

 

[jelly_bean]

If I sing, will I get paid? If I buy, will I sell? If my plumbing goes out, will it get fixed?

PWN!

 

[Praven]

I agreed to texting, not talking.

And all kinds of fish, except Starfish, they're far too clingy.

 

[jelly_bean]

pfft. I need a plumber. Spike is no good at fixing pipes.

 

[Praven]

No wonder, cacti are excellent at baking cakes, not maintenance. You should ask a cucumber, they're experts.

 

[jelly_bean]

but a cucumber is what is clogging UP my pipes!

spike's pretty good at karate and stuff, but is useless in most handy work.

 

[Praven]

Oh my, that is an extreme case. I suppose... you could try... and call... SANTA CLAUS.

I hear he doesn't have much to do this time of year, so you might be able to get an appointment.

 

[jelly_bean]

Are you kidding me? Santa's VERY busy right now, dispatching elves! I can't believe you don't know about his non-winter job.

*whispers very softly* You don't think he eats all the cookies, do you?

 

[Praven]

*Puts micro-phone in front of Turnip's lips*

 

[jelly_bean]

Who said I have lips? *mwa ha ha's*

I can't believe you didn't hear it, though! *eye twitches* I am so disappointed.

 

[Praven]

I wasn't sure if you had them or not...

*goes back in time and draws lips w/ marker so there are lips to put microphone to*

You like Asparagus dunked in chili!!?

 

[jelly_bean]

well, I sure have them now. GOLLY GEE, though! you MISSED the big CLUE of all TIME. look a little closer at the post, dude-o.

 

[Praven]

whispers very softly* You don't think he eats all the cookies, do you?

I don't get it. You mean he's really making cookies out of Keebler Elves!!!

No wonder they're tasting.

 

[jelly_bean]

whispers very softly* You don't think he eats all the cookies, do you?

I don't get it. You mean he's really making cookies out of Keebler Elves!!!

No wonder they're tasting.

No, no, no. You've got it all wrong.

Spoiler: Santa's ultimate secret

But you know how all the little kiddies leave cookies for the jolly dude? He can't quite eat it all. So he stores it, boxes it, and sells it. To who? The girl scouts. Amazing, ain't it? His elves are often disguised as the little girls, too!

 

[Praven]

I would have never guessed.

I don't like girl scout cookies.

 

[jelly_bean]

It's a sad thing, but Wendell wants to be a dentist!

Cookie, anyone?

 

[Praven]

Who's Wendell?

Check TELL ME.

 

[jelly_bean]

you lolled and my heart broke.

WHERE'S MY PLUMBER?

 

[Praven]

Oh... uh...

Check the mirror