I've held grudges for so long. they didn't remember what they did or said to me, so why should I even care? why should I hold onto something that others don't even worry about? they're doing so great without me and I don't want to care. I just want to be free from all these painful experiences. one by one, i'm taking them down, but I do need to get forget. I feel like when people sneer or jeer at me, that they are automatically my enemies.
people have insulted me like do you even have a best friend? man why do I take things so seriously and why do I not take jokes lightly? gosh, can't I see it's just a joke?
whenever I see other Christians being treated well by other nonbelievers, I just get jealous and I just want to make trouble. I really have the desire to end their friendships but I just can't bring myself to do it. I would hate to see that happen to me. I have been envied by some other people. I can tell by their tone of voice. I hated them and I wanted them to be crushed.
why are so many engineers atheists? why are they so successful? why are atheists the only ones that make the high wages and the Christians seem to be ignorant of science and things like that? I don't know but the Christians in my neighborhood sure don't seem to have much knowledge in science and neither do I?
since i'm not so good at math, I don't think I can be successful. I just want to be good at it so that I can brag about it to my enemies and see what they may have to say. I will tell them that i'm capable of success and that i'm blessed. I've been hoping for the Lord to bless me tremendously so that others may see that the lord's hand is on me. I don't know but for a Christian to not be smart, it's almost as if I have never been endowed with any gifts. but there is certainly one thing that I am good at which I don't think I am skilled in at all. I really think that others can surpass. I feel like I can never be number 1. all I want is to show them that I can be just as smart as they are.
people have insulted me like do you even have a best friend? man why do I take things so seriously and why do I not take jokes lightly? gosh, can't I see it's just a joke?
whenever I see other Christians being treated well by other nonbelievers, I just get jealous and I just want to make trouble. I really have the desire to end their friendships but I just can't bring myself to do it. I would hate to see that happen to me. I have been envied by some other people. I can tell by their tone of voice. I hated them and I wanted them to be crushed.
why are so many engineers atheists? why are they so successful? why are atheists the only ones that make the high wages and the Christians seem to be ignorant of science and things like that? I don't know but the Christians in my neighborhood sure don't seem to have much knowledge in science and neither do I?
since i'm not so good at math, I don't think I can be successful. I just want to be good at it so that I can brag about it to my enemies and see what they may have to say. I will tell them that i'm capable of success and that i'm blessed. I've been hoping for the Lord to bless me tremendously so that others may see that the lord's hand is on me. I don't know but for a Christian to not be smart, it's almost as if I have never been endowed with any gifts. but there is certainly one thing that I am good at which I don't think I am skilled in at all. I really think that others can surpass. I feel like I can never be number 1. all I want is to show them that I can be just as smart as they are.
