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Cordy · Nov 21, 2004

Do you and your husband/wife look alike? Married couples are supposed to look like each other over time. I was wondering if you noticed this at all in your marriage?

WolfGate · Nov 21, 2004

Not in our case. I'm blond, she's brunette. My face in more triangle shaped, her's is more round. I'm slim framed naturally, she's a medium frame. My nose is narrow, her's is more classic. I married way above myself in the looks department.

And we're a perfect match!

Leanna · Nov 21, 2004

I don't think you're supposed to look alike, but that over time married couples look alike because they start dressing more similar styled and having behavior quirks that the other one has.

heartnsoul · Nov 21, 2004

Well, my husband is 6'0" tall, American but polish background and has a big nose, and I am petite 5'2" tall, Chinese-American with a small nose. Gosh, heaven forbid that we grow to look alike! One thing I can say after 10 years being married, we do share the same type of smile and laugh at the same jokes. So from a "smile" standpoint, yes, we do smile alike.

Cordy · Nov 21, 2004

LOL no I didnt mean if you guys have the same hair/skin/eye colour or anything. If I remember correctly, the theory is that when you are talking with someone and relating to them, you mirror back their expressions. It is a way humans show they are relating to each other. Over time, after you have talked to each other for many years, your expressions begin to stay on your face, and you begin to look alike.

I remember a study where two sets of pictures where shown. One was a bunch of couples who have been married for many years (but the pictures were separate, not a couple picture). And the other set was these same people in high school. The study asked participants to guess which people from the high school pictures ended up together. People couldnt do it it was totally random guessing. But in the older pictures, people were very good at picking out who were married, because there is something about them that looks similar. I just thought it was interesting and was wondering if people here noticed that.

heartnsoul · Nov 21, 2004

mbams said:
LOL no I didnt mean if you guys have the same hair/skin/eye colour or anything. If I remember correctly, the theory is that when you are talking with someone and relating to them, you mirror back their expressions. It is a way humans show they are relating to each other. Over time, after you have talked to each other for many years, your expressions begin to stay on your face, and you begin to look alike.

I remember a study where two sets of pictures where shown. One was a bunch of couples who have been married for many years (but the pictures were separate, not a couple picture). And the other set was these same people in high school. The study asked participants to guess which people from the high school pictures ended up together. People couldnt do it it was totally random guessing. But in the older pictures, people were very good at picking out who were married, because there is something about them that looks similar. I just thought it was interesting and was wondering if people here noticed that.

Mbams, I suppose you could be right. My husband and I do look somewhat alike if you ignore the nose and the height.

awen · Nov 21, 2004

My wife and I are completely and utterly different...

we don't resemble each other at all! HOWEVER... personality-wise, I've picked up a lot of traits from her over the past three years, and vice-versa. Married life does that to you.

HisWinterRose · Nov 21, 2004

Nope ... we are very different & that is what made us come together. He is 6' & I am 5'1 & I am one who enjoys seafood ( Lobster ... clams ... crab ... scallops ) & he likes down home coutry food ( pinto beans ... fried potatoes ... biscuits & sorgum ) so maybe it's a good thing that we are not alike because I really don't think that we would get along well ... but over the many years that we have been together ( 27 in the spring ) I have gotten use to his likes & he has even tried some of mine ... so you have to learn to except what you get. We both love each other & that is all that counts in this marriage
TBEAR

okiemommy26 · Nov 21, 2004

No we are not the same at all but I can read his mind and he can read mine too.

jaimegerise · Nov 21, 2004

I've seen some married couples that look a like, it's interesting....
Don't think me and hubby could ever look alike!
He's 6'4" and built like a ruler! SKINNY MINNIE. I on the other hand, am 5'6" and, well, LARGE. LOL

He's got all dark coloring (half mexican) and I am whiter than God's white bedlinens!

Plus our features are totally different....
He has big lips, mine are small, his nose is huge, mine is puggish, he's got THICK bushy eyebrows and regular looking eyes, and I got hardly any eyebrows and almond shaped eyes....also he's got a REALLY long face.

InTheFlame · Nov 21, 2004

Well since we got married he lost weight and I've gained it... perhaps we're heading to a median weight?

alaskamolly · Nov 21, 2004

My husband and I look TOTALLY different...

And apparently our genetic codes are strange too, because none of our children look alike! We even have a blond-hair/blue-eyed in the mix (and we're both brown hair/brown eyes)!

We're about the same height--I'm 5'8 and he's about a half inch taller, but he's very muscularly built--he looks like he works out and tans, even though he doesn't work out much, and just has naturally tan skin. Heehee...
Meanwhile, I'm scrawny and (in the winters) totally white (even though I'm the one who's part native american--HA!...and by the way, it's not Eskimo and I don't really clog-dance...that's sort of just a joke under my username up there...).

But I'd say we make cute children...and it's kind of fun never knowing what's going to come out of the mix next! (#5 should be interesting!)...

(course, I am biased)...

Molly

FaithAlone · Nov 22, 2004

Haha, this is a funny post. I have a really good friend that has the same theory. She's actually been a little less likely to date guys that don't look enough like her. My husband and I look similar. I guess it might have to do with us subconsciously being attracted to a mate that will give us the most healthy offspring.

Cordy · Nov 22, 2004

I think most people are missing my point. I am not asking if you look like your spouse as in you are the same shape/size/colours or if you guys have the same interests, of if you will only date and marry people who will look like you. I am not asking if you married someone similar to you or your opposite, or how genetically similar you are.

It has simply been proven that over time, one begins to look like who they are married to. It is not like you will suddenly have their hair colour, or their nose, but that you guys share each others expressions for so long that there is something similar about you two after years of marriage - something about you two that says to others hey, you can just tell those two belong together. Maybe nobody here has been married this long yet - I know I havent. But my parents are like that, and so are some other older couples I know. I was just wondering if anyone here has noticed that about themselves or had someone comment on it to them.

But maybe this thread just wont make sense until 50 years from now, when people can just tell you two belong together.

fruitrach · Nov 23, 2004

Dan and I do look similar. http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v46/RachelW/Personal%20Photos/us.jpg (that's us at our wedding) Not as bad as my best friend though - if you look at her wedding photos, you can't tell which parents belong to bride or groom they're so similar!

We have picked up each other's mannerisms and figures of speech. And that's only after 2 years! Imagine what we'll be like in 20, 40, 60 years time...?!

shania · Nov 23, 2004

I think this theory can be understood more easily by pet owners. My dad looks like his labrador retriever -- I am totally serious.

No they don't have the same hair colour -- the dog's is blond and his is black. They definately don't have the same shaped head, body or face.

But I noticed after a few years the dog would raise his eyebrows up sometimes (just the flap of skin above the eye). It looked kind of pointy and he would just do it if he was sitting by himself and looking at things.

One day my dad was at the kitchen table and really concentrating on writing something. I noticed that when he focuses on something he raises his eye brows and they point up. It made me laugh and when I told my sister I just had to tell her to look at each of their eyebrows and she knew what I meant. We just laughed and laughed and laughed until we were hysterical.

Prior to that I called my dad one time and he looked up at me and at the exact same time the dog turned his head up to look at me and the expressions on their faces were exactly the same, I couldn't believe it.

I think that this is the physical alikeness that mbams is asking about, except that it's between couples.

LegacyOfLove · Nov 24, 2004

My husband and I are entirely different too in how we look...with the exception of our heights being fairly close...or when I imitate his facial gestures (whilst trying to be "funny").

Green Orchid · Nov 25, 2004

My husband and I look A LOT like each other AND we act/talk the same way ever since we've been together. To top it off, we had the same last name BEFORE we got married (not related!). People really thought we were brother-sister before we were married.

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