People are so draining. Although friends are important, there are times when you begin to question such friendships. For instance, not being there when you need ’em most meanwhile they pop out only to ask for favors. It gets worse when you see them spending more time with other people than you as if you’re being replaced. You place them high upon the pedestal as your best friend, yet you’re not even on theirs. While they may be on the forefront on your minds, you seemingly are an afterthought in theirs. Now that hurts. It’s oftentimes one gets bitter, resentful, betrayed, angry, and frustrated. Thus one wants to cut people off.
And as a Christian, it’s worse when unity/fellowship/love is expected. Trust me, I’ve been there many times. In fact, I’m actually there right now. I’ve dealt with much grief, sadness, and frustration with people this year alone. I feel like I’ve reached a breaking point. I’ve been anything but happy with the people in my life. It’s difficult to think about certain people without becoming enraged… In short, I’m done with people.
But lately, I’ve come to a realization that I hope would be of help to you as it is to me. This is what I’ve concluded: just as people are unreliable, people are also overeliable. We wait too much on people that we are upset when our needs go unmet. Here’s the thing however, in which I have to tell myself time and time again. Not everyone is ignoring you nor neglecting you with bad intentions as we always tend to think. And due to bad experiences, it’s easy to put people in the negative. But it’s not like that at all. Just recognize that we rely on people too much when they cannot met all of our needs.
In closing, I want to share some tips worth applying (I know I need them too)
And as a Christian, it’s worse when unity/fellowship/love is expected. Trust me, I’ve been there many times. In fact, I’m actually there right now. I’ve dealt with much grief, sadness, and frustration with people this year alone. I feel like I’ve reached a breaking point. I’ve been anything but happy with the people in my life. It’s difficult to think about certain people without becoming enraged… In short, I’m done with people.
But lately, I’ve come to a realization that I hope would be of help to you as it is to me. This is what I’ve concluded: just as people are unreliable, people are also overeliable. We wait too much on people that we are upset when our needs go unmet. Here’s the thing however, in which I have to tell myself time and time again. Not everyone is ignoring you nor neglecting you with bad intentions as we always tend to think. And due to bad experiences, it’s easy to put people in the negative. But it’s not like that at all. Just recognize that we rely on people too much when they cannot met all of our needs.
In closing, I want to share some tips worth applying (I know I need them too)
- Realize who’s who in your life
- In other words, see who really is a friend. Ideally, friendships are two-way streets so they must be reciprocal. If you’re just chasing after people all the time with zero reciprocation, it might be time to cut them loose (depending on the situation). They’re probably not the friends you think they are.
- Realize proper expectations must be made clear
- Having done step 1, let your friends know what your expectations are that way they can do their best to meet them and vice versa. It’s easy to get [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse]ed off at unmet expectations yet you never made them known to begin with! They’re not mind readers so something must be said.
- Realize people will not always met your expectations
- Thus bringing us back to square one. As much as clarifying expectations is good, just know that people will fail you and you will fail them. Again, people are unrealiable and overiable which leads me to my next point.
- Realize that only God brings contentment
- People aren’t meant to fill the void, thus we will never be satisfied with them. Only God fills that space with His joy, peace, and love. As the apostle Paul said, “I have learned to be content” despite being in prison, and receiving blessings from the Philippian church (Phil. 4:10-12). That’s why he says “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength ” (v 13) as a recognition of Christ’s sufficiency. While people fail, God will never fail. While everyone else disappears, God remains right there wherever you are, however you are.
- Realize that you can be happy alone
- What I’m not advocating here is being anti-social or isolationist. Rather, you don’t have to wait for people to make you happy. Otherwise you’re leaving it all on them and that is an impossible burden to them. Or you realize, that you don’t have friends period! Or you did, but everyone drifted away. But again, only God can fill that void.
- Therefore, practice self-care. Take yourself out every now and then. Do something productive ,creative and fun. You don’t always need people for that. Remember, life is short so make the most of it. In doing so, one can learn to be content whether people are around or not because you’re no longer overwhelmed. You learn to love and accept them as they are, flaws and shortcomings included.
