rambling.. thoughts..

[jcsetmefree]

ok. so when I cut as a teen, it made sense then that my school counselor would call my mom and recommend I got extra help. But now I'm an adult and I'm in college; I do the see a counselor at school--but I'm too afraid to tell her I cut. I feel like everything will go downhill if I do. I go to a Christian college and am supposed to be a "spiritual leader" being a leader of a student ministry. I volunteer with a local church youth group as well and am really close with the youth pastor. I've only told one friend of mine that I started cutting again, and she wants me to tell my counselor. I'm just too scared to. I'm comfortable cutting.. it's not like I'm suicidal. I don't want to lose everything just because I've given in to this thing that I'll eventually overcome. At the same time I feel like I'm lying to everyone. For some reason it's been really easy for me to smile in the past week--even though I'm not really feeling it on the inside. Cutting is all that's gotten me through the day. Just knowing that however bad my day is, I have this at the end to take care of it. I hate when I hear people say that cutters and depressed people are selfish. I realize it can look that way to someone who doesn't understand, but really a truly depressed person has a chemical imbalance.. that's not selfish, that's nature. Sorry this is so long. I just wanted to get these thoughts out. Feel free to respond if you want.

 

[ido]

I will be praying for you that you will find the courage/desire to speak with your counselor about this so that she can help you find coping mechanisms/skills. You say it is comfortable for you - stepping out of our comfort zones can be a very difficult thing to do, even when we know it is in our best interests. &

 

[dreamchildattucus]

your 20 so the counselor can't call and tell your mom, the counselor is sworn to secracy, it would probly be best if you told them it really helps to talk to someone about whats going on... ill be praying for you!

 

[ChristInAction]

yeah, as dreamchild said, your counsellor cannot tell anyone what you tell them. i hope you are able to open up about this because it will be huge help to you, not keeping it secret anymore and finding better ways of coping.

 

[jcsetmefree]

I've been told that they have the right to report it if I am a "harm" to myself or others. Wouldn't cutting be classified as "harming?"

 

[Criada]

It really does help to talk to someone about it, and as others have said, your counselor does have to keep it confidential. It does help, at the time, but long term it really isn't an answer... I know that you know that.
Are you on meds for your depression? That helps as well.
Tghinking of you sweetie, and hoping that you can sort out the issues which are making you want to cut.