Raising children

[an7222]

What is the worst to society? To raise a child in an artificial heterosexual marriage where there's no love and respect, or in an all loving and happy homosexual/bisexual/intersex marriage?

 

[Lokisdottir]

I'd much rather see a child raised by a good homosexual couple than by a poor heterosexual couple.

Many people say that, all other factors being equal, a child is better off having a mother and a father rather than two mothers or two fathers. Even if that's true, so what?

It's also true that, all other factors being equal, a person who was abused as a child is more likely to become an abuser hirself -- but not necessarily.

Does that mean we should rule out all prospective adopters who were abused as children? Should we only allow people who've had perfect childhoods, raised by perfect parents in a nice house with a two-car garage and a white picket fence?

OR...

Should we consider all prospective adopters regardless of their backgrounds, and judge them on an individual basis?

If we only adopt out children to those we believe will be perfect parents, very few children will be adopted. In my opinion, "Well, you would be good parents, but those people over there would be better parents. Sorry, you can't adopt"... is not an excuse for ruling people out.

 

[bliz]

What is the worst to society? To raise a child in an artificial heterosexual marriage where there's no love and respect, or in an all loving and happy homosexual/bisexual/intersex marriage?

There must be at least a third option.....

 

[Anovah]

There must be at least a third option.....

Not in his question, there's not.

So if you had to choose...

 

[Antoninus Verus]

Bad hetero marraige is infinitely worse in my view

 

[Lyric's Dad]

What is the worst to society? To raise a child in an artificial heterosexual marriage where there's no love and respect, or in an all loving and happy homosexual/bisexual/intersex marriage?

The latter.

 

[ChristianCenturion]

There must be at least a third option.....

No, loaded questions aren't loaded without cause. Objectiveness would defeat the purpose.

 

[The Seeker]

No, loaded questions aren't loaded without cause. Objectiveness would defeat the purpose.

And in this case, it seems that the purpose is to point out that there is no reason that you can't be gay and a good parent.

Edit: And it's objectivity

 

[ZACTAK]

What is the worst to society? To raise a child in an artificial heterosexual marriage where there's no love and respect, or in an all loving and happy homosexual/bisexual/intersex marriage?

I would have to say in a homosexual/bisexual/intersex relationship because I was raised in a bad heterosexual household, and it leaves a bad taste in my mouth, and I had to listen and see a lot!

 

[Chajara]

I would rather have had gay adoptive parents with open minds than a bigoted father who had me using the N word when I was like 5 years old. Of course, I had no idea what it meant, and I'm eternally grateful his outlook didn't rub off on me like it did my mother. I'd also rather have had gay adoptive parents than have had to listen to my parents screaming and fighting, swearing, cursing, accusing each other of unfaithfulness, throwing things at each other... you get the picture. Because of that, I now cannot witness two adults fighting or an adult yelling at a child without having an anxiety attack in which I cry, shake, and hyperventilate. That's not to say that no homosexual/bisexual/whatever family could turn out like mine did, I'm just talking in terms relative to my own case. *shrug*

 

[Lyric's Dad]

And in this case, it seems that the purpose is to point out that there is no reason that you can't be gay and a good parent.

Edit: And it's objectivity

How funny. He brought his spelling class to the board and attacked someone with it. LOL!

 

[Lokisdottir]

The latter.

Care to explain your reasoning? Is it really better to have a child raised by parents who don't love hir, as in the first example?

 

[The Seeker]

How funny. He brought his spelling class to the board and attacked someone with it. LOL!

Not an attack, just my inante pedantry. Speaking of which, I don't have a spelling class, and even if I did, I think that they could find their own way to the board.

 

[Lyric's Dad]

Care to explain your reasoning? Is it really better to have a child raised by parents who don't love hir, as in the first example?

Being raised in a lifestyle invented in the pit is not good. While I would definately say a loving hetero lifestyle is bonus, this loaded question had only two possibilities. I would never choose a homosexual relationship.

 

[mpshiel]

I think as cases in Florida and elsewhere have shown, if the best welfare of the child is paramount then ALL options need to be examined. If a gay couple is the best option for a child or other person needed to be adopted then that would obviously be best. To say "No, not ever" is saying that instead of making a choice, you are letting the preconditions make the choice: you can say, "no gays", "no blacks", "noone who thinks communism is a valid government choice", "no athiests" etc - so are all the options being considered for the best welfare of the person needing care, or are they just getting what is available when you have decided what they are allowed to have. It seems in such a case that it is the welfare of the person making the decision which comes before the welfare of the child.

I am friends with a gay couple who not only have two children of thier own but have "adopted" the care of 3 full time people with severe care needs (though they range from 25 to 40). These are people who due to severe mental and physical problems would have to spend thier life in a state home or institution. But while one partner is blessed with a good job, the other stays home and takes care of them 24/7. So far, none of them have "turned gay" but they have been able to go on trips, socialize with others and experience the variety of life that they would never have been able to if institutionalized. And while you may say, "that's not a fair example" - the fact is - the reason this couple got those people is because NO ONE ELSE WANTED THEM. (if you are a heterosexual couple who wants to take on three full time care individuals which may include helping them bath, changing the beds when they go in them and being there 24 hours a day - please contact your local adoption branch as there are MANY individuals who have been waiting thier whole lives for you to come along). Which is often the case for gay couples who do foster care.

 

[Angel4Truth]

If God wanted homosexuals to raise children in a family unit , they would be capeable of having children .

 

[Archivist]

If God wanted homosexuals to raise children in a family unit , they would be capeable of having children .

I very strongly disagree with this statement. There are many loving heterosexual couples who are not capable of having children of their own. Using the logic of this post they should be excluded from adopting children. Afer all, if God have wanted them to have children He would have made them capable of having their own.

If this Forum had existed in 1950 I wonder if we would have seen posts along the lines of "is it better for a white child to be raised by a disfunctional white couple or a loving black couple?"

 

[AngylBelle]

This is such a touchy subject...
While I myself, do not agree with homosexuality, I do not condemn it because it is not man's place (God will take care of them). I have known and befriended many homosexuals that are perfectly loving and responsible people that would be great parents in comparison to a dysfunctional heterosexual family setting. However, the question is then raised, can a homosexual family setting also be considered dysfunctional based on the living circumstances? If you look in a thesaurus, the words unfit, defective and flawed are equated to the word dysfunctional. Biblically based of course, this would attest to a wonderful family setting grounded upon a homosexual relationship being just as bad. Honestly, I do not feel there is a better or worse answer...therefore I just say, "I don't know."

 

[Lokisdottir]

Being raised in a lifestyle invented in the pit is not good.

This comment worries me, because it indicates that you believe homosexuality to be more wrong than child neglect and abuse.

And don't go saying that letting a child be raised by gays is abuse. I'm talking about real abuse here, the kind that leaves bruises and ends up with years of therapy. Compared to that, being raised by a loving same-sex couple isn't even on the map.

 

[Antoninus Verus]

This comment worries me, because it indicates that you believe homosexuality to be more wrong than child neglect and abuse.

And don't go saying that letting a child be raised by gays is abuse. I'm talking about real abuse here, the kind that leaves bruises and ends up with years of therapy. Compared to that, being raised by a loving same-sex couple isn't even on the map.

I agree completely.

When you see the dammage that bad parents can inflict on people, its scary. People live with abuse dammage for YEARS, sometimes the rest of thier life. A friend I have, her father cant wear a belt, he cant even touch a belt, because his father used to beat him with a belt. He beat him so hard he fell unconsious several times. If he tries to wear a belt, he starts shaking and sweating.