Quick question

Jon_ · Mar 20, 2005

Alright, I gotta get a lady's perspective on this. I've been having fellowship with the brothers in the Men's Corner and getting some great input from them, but I think I should check and see what the ladies have to say.

I have a crush on this girl in my Bible study. I only see her on the nights we have Bible study, which are Tuesdays. Last week, I asked her if it was alright if I gave her a call sometime that week. She said yes. So, she gives me her phone number, and I tell her I'll call her tomorrow (Wednesday). So, I call her Wednesday afternoon and I get her VM. I'm thinking, no big deal, she mentioned that if she didn't answer to just leave a message and she'd call me back. So, I do. She didn't call me back that day, which I wasn't too strung out over. I call her again the next day and she still doesn't answer, so I leave her another message. So, that's where we're at. She still hasn't called me back and it's now Sunday evening.

What's up with that?

Anyway, I'm figuring she doesn't like me and is trying to drop me a hint, does like me, but is a little confused or anxious about what to do about it, so she's avoiding contact, or something's up and she simply can't get back to me. Obviously, I know none of you know her, so it's impossible to say really, but which of these seems most plausible? Do girls make a habit of giving out their phone numbers and then never calling back? I've honestly never had this problem before, so that's why I'm kinda at a loss.

I'm also thinking about calling her tomorrow. Good idea, or bad? Regardless, I'm going to bring this up next time I see her (a week from Tuesday, we don't meet this week). I mean, come on, it's just rude to broadside a guy like that.

lady_of_god · Mar 20, 2005

Jon_ said:
What's up with that?

Anyway, I'm figuring she doesn't like me and is trying to drop me a hint, does like me, but is a little confused or anxious about what to do about it, so she's avoiding contact, or something's up and she simply can't get back to me. Obviously, I know none of you know her, so it's impossible to say really, but which of these seems most plausible? Do girls make a habit of giving out their phone numbers and then never calling back? I've honestly never had this problem before, so that's why I'm kinda at a loss.

I'm also thinking about calling her tomorrow. Good idea, or bad? Regardless, I'm going to bring this up next time I see her (a week from Tuesday, we don't meet this week). I mean, come on, it's just rude to broadside a guy like that.

*raises her hand in shame and looks around the room*

As a lady i'm guilty of giving a guy my number to be nice and not answering phone calls & messages. I would actually suggest that you stop calling her and just speak to her when you see her.

It might be a case of bad nerves, and she just doesn't know what to say to you. I've done that too but I always call right back after i've relaxed because I didn't want him to think i didn't like him.

Anyhow the fact that you you've called her repeatedly and she never called back is definitely an indication that she is not interested... I could be wrong but I know how us ladies are.

-Lady

Pikachelsea · Mar 20, 2005

I would also suggest that you stop calling and maybe just ask her what's up when you see her next (although she'll probably be nervous about seeing you there if she's not interested). One message is enough. Leaving more messages isn't going to make her respond.

Also, I have spoken to single girls who get asked out a lot, and it's a big dilemma to them to decide to be rude by refusing to give out their phone number to guys they're not interested in, or to be rude by giving out the phone number out of "politeness" and then just never returning their calls. Either way, it's kinda mean (or just hard on the guy), but what can they do, right?

I hate to say it, but the girl probably just didn't want to hurt your feelings by saying "No, I won't give you my phone number." If she was interested, I can almost guarantee she would've returned your calls by now. Sorry; I hate to be the bearer of bad news Oh well; maybe I'll be completely wrong and you'll see her Tuesday and she had a family emergency and couldn't answer the phone all week. I wouldn't bet on it, but it's possible, I guess.

Jon_ · Mar 20, 2005

Yeah, I knew it...

Man, I knew it.

Ok, thank you ladies.

Pope Gonzo · Mar 20, 2005

You never know. Seriously. Just wait till the next Bible study and talk it over. Patience

FatBurger · Mar 21, 2005

Ever seen the movie Swingers? There's a short scene talking about the proper way to call someone you get a number from. Rule of thumb is to wait three days before calling. Don't ask me why, because I don't know. But every woman I've talked to has said that it's a good rule, and they likely wouldn't call someone back who called the next day (too anxious), or someone who calls more than 4 or so days after (missed the chance).
Calling two days in a row after leaving a message isn't really a good idea, either.

But regardless, not all hope is lost. When you see her next (assuming she doesn't call between now and then, which is still possible), just say hi, be friendly, but let her start up a conversation if she wants, or apologize for not calling you back.

Stupid question; you did actually leave your number so she can call you back, right?

Jon_ · Mar 21, 2005

FatBurger said:
Stupid question; you did actually leave your number so she can call you back, right?

Ha, ha! That's a valid question knowing me. Yeah, I did leave it, though.

FatBurger said:
Ever seen the movie Swingers? There's a short scene talking about the proper way to call someone you get a number from. Rule of thumb is to wait three days before calling. Don't ask me why, because I don't know. But every woman I've talked to has said that it's a good rule, and they likely wouldn't call someone back who called the next day (too anxious), or someone who calls more than 4 or so days after (missed the chance).
Calling two days in a row after leaving a message isn't really a good idea, either.

But regardless, not all hope is lost. When you see her next (assuming she doesn't call between now and then, which is still possible), just say hi, be friendly, but let her start up a conversation if she wants, or apologize for not calling you back.

Yeah, I know, the thing is that I told her I'd call her tomorrow (Wednesday), so I didn't want to renege on that. And then, like an idiot, I said in my first message that I could just call her tomorrow (Thursday) if I didn't hear back from her. I don't know why I did that. I should have just left it open-ended, which was my plan from the beginning.

Oh, well. At least I can rest confidently in God's will. Everything happened for a reason. I really don't think that anything is going to happen between us at this point. Maybe sometime in the future, but not right now.

bliz · Mar 21, 2005

Jon - You know nothing! Stop jujping to conslusions!

YOu have no idea whatsoever about why she did not return your call. In point of fact, you don't know that she ever heard your VM - does your machine always work? If you share living space with others, do they ever erase your messages?

Something may have come up that made her unusually busy. (A few weeks ago I was really upset becasue a co-worker was not there to meet me as planned. And he didn't answer his cell! I was really mad! All day he was unavailable. Truns out he had been at a friend's business, the friend slipped and fell and had a head injury. My co-worker was with his friend at the hospital, blood all over his shirt.)

Stop calling and wait until you see her. Be casual about it. And give her as out.

YOu said it yourself - you have a crush on her. When we have crushes, none of us think all that straight or pick up on clues and information all that well. Hang in there and be patient.

Iggster · Mar 21, 2005

I would stop calling. Give her a casual," Hi," on the next bible study. I'll never ask her why she never called me back. Then I would proceed to talk to all the other girls in the bible study group. I wouldn't ignore her. And I would include her in conversations with the group.

I feel like I'm about to be struck by lightning from heaven above.....

FatBurger · Mar 21, 2005

Jon_ said:
Ha, ha! That's a valid question knowing me. Yeah, I did leave it, though.

I work in tech support, I've learned to always ask the dumb questions first

Jon_ said:
Oh, well. At least I can rest confidently in God's will. Everything happened for a reason. I really don't think that anything is going to happen between us at this point. Maybe sometime in the future, but not right now.

That's a good way to look at it. When I first met my fiancee, it seemed impossible that we could ever be together, yet everything miraculously worked out.

blueSKYpilot · Mar 22, 2005

Do not jump to conclusions, anybody.

Be sure to watch her body language. (how does she look at you, how often, in what way... how does she talk to you...why did she give you her phone number in the first place.........)

Consider any possibility. and do not jump to conclusions.

Well, I am going to bed. Goodnight!!

See ya,
Bluesky

FaithfulServant · Mar 23, 2005

For future reference:

Typically don't call the girl the same day or the next day. Wait at least two days, and if she doesn't answer the first time, DON'T call back within the next 48 hours. If she gets your message and finds the time, she'll call you back. Personally, when guys called back to back after I hadn't answered or returned their call, I usually wrote them off as needy.

I know this sounds bad but how often and when you call can make women jump to conclusions - we may assume that you are possesive or don't have enough of a social life to keep you busy so you sit by the phone calling us or something lol. That may be extreme but its something to think about

I'm glad your heart is at peace knowing that if it is meant to be it will happen

Jon_ · Mar 23, 2005

FaithfulServant said:
For future reference:

Typically don't call the girl the same day or the next day. Wait at least two days, and if she doesn't answer the first time, DON'T call back within the next 48 hours. If she gets your message and finds the time, she'll call you back. Personally, when guys called back to back after I hadn't answered or returned their call, I usually wrote them off as needy.

I know this sounds bad but how often and when you call can make women jump to conclusions - we may assume that you are possesive or don't have enough of a social life to keep you busy so you sit by the phone calling us or something lol. That may be extreme but its something to think about

I'm glad your heart is at peace knowing that if it is meant to be it will happen

Yeah, I know... it's like a cardinal rule, and one that I always follow, except this time. I don't know why I fell out of step. No, I do. It's because I actually like her--a lot. It kinda threw me through a loop. I haven't felt this way since High School, and as a result, I'm acting like a High School kid.

So yeah, I can't undo what's been done, but hopefully, I'll be able to communicate this whole thing to her next week. You make a good point. Maybe she was thinking that I was coming on a little strong--a little "clingy." I'll just sort of play it off like I was acting goofy because I like her. If she responds positively, then we'll go from there; otherwise, she can come out and say she's not interested.

Yeah, something like that, anyway...

blueSKYpilot · Mar 23, 2005

FaithfulServant said:
For future reference:

Typically don't call the girl the same day or the next day. Wait at least two days, and if she doesn't answer the first time, DON'T call back within the next 48 hours. If she gets your message and finds the time, she'll call you back. Personally, when guys called back to back after I hadn't answered or returned their call, I usually wrote them off as needy.

I know this sounds bad but how often and when you call can make women jump to conclusions - we may assume that you are possesive or don't have enough of a social life to keep you busy so you sit by the phone calling us or something lol. That may be extreme but its something to think about

I'm glad your heart is at peace knowing that if it is meant to be it will happen

either needy, or they really like you.

bornagain-053184 · Mar 23, 2005

sorry hunnie sounds like shes not intrested or like the others said.. bad nerves... either way give up as bad as that sounds..maybe shes just not into you and was just beign nice and thats wrong... never do that ladies...not polite just say maybe i'll call you and she could have done that.. all well whats done is done... talk to her wehn u see her at BS... good luck

We hope the site problems here are now solved, however, if you still have any issues, please start a ticket in Contact Us

Quick question

Senior Veteran

Well-Known Member

Active Member

Senior Veteran

Well-Known Member

14% + Jesus = victory

Senior Veteran

Contributor

Well-Known Member

14% + Jesus = victory

blueSKYpilot

Guest

The Lord directs my steps

Senior Veteran

blueSKYpilot

Guest

Nevaeh's Mommy

Similar threads

Privacy & Transparency

Privacy & Transparency