i should jump in at this point and clarify my motives, i suppose. when i turned away from god during my adolescence, i felt that i didnt need god. i had it stuck in my head that i was responsible for my own peace of mind. 25 years later, not only have i not found that peace, but have dug myself into quite a mental rut. i thought i could handle the whole existential outlook, and make myself happy. obviously, that didnt happen. im searching for peace. im searching for happiness. im searching for grace. im searching for love. yes, there is a fear of hell, and yes, i do question myself about if that is the driving force behind my search. i even mentioned that doubt in one of my introductory posts. im beginning, however, to think that those doubts are merely residue from all those years of self deprogramming. my head goes a mile a minute; i question my motives constantly.
that being said, thanks so much to all of you for sharing with me. i do feel better about the situation. =)
that being said, thanks so much to all of you for sharing with me. i do feel better about the situation. =)
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