Questions from a returning Catholic

[eBeth]

Hello all,

I was glad to see this section of the forums. I'm just returning back to faith after about 20 years of being away. I was kind of raised as a Catholic -- I was baptized and made my First Communion, but at some point my family stopped attending church. When I was in my twenties, I did start going to church with my mom, but that was quite a few years ago. Long story short, I'm trying to strengthen my faith. The priest at my church said I have a "childish" knowledge of God. I still see God as a stern taskmaster, not as a loving parent. I think he is right, hence my questions.

First, how does one know or feel God's love, and how does one love God? I keep expecting some kind of falling down rapture and that I will be filled with uncontrollable joy. But this is not what I feel. I've always said I believe in God, and I do, but I sometimes feel like I do because not believing would be awful. This is causing me lots of inner turmoil. When people say they love God, is that love like what you feel for you family and friends or is it different?

Secondly, how can I do kind things for people without feeling that I'm trying to win God's approval or make up for past sins or meanness on my part? For example, today I needed to buy something at the grocery store. On the way in I say a homeless man selling newspapers. While I was in the store I thought: "I will buy that man a sandwich and a drink." While I was paying for my stuff I thought: "You are just doing this because you are trying to earn your way into Heaven." In a way I feel like that's what I am doing. The man was happy to have the sandwich, but I just felt guilty as I might have did it for the wrong reasons.

Am I expecting too much from myself or am I not expecting enough of myself.

Any thoughts will be appreciated.

Thanks
Elizabeth

 

[Aaron-Aggie]

Elizabeth,
Don't worry your not alone, a life of faith is one of struggle. All of us, even the greatest saints have gone through what your going through. My best suggestion would be to seek advice from your preist and pray. The Holy spirit will guide you in the way He see's best fit.

You didn't mention that you had been confirmed, you should ask your preist about what type of program your church has.

 

[KC Catholic]

While I was in the store I thought: "I will buy that man a sandwich and a drink." While I was paying for my stuff I thought: "You are just doing this because you are trying to earn your way into Heaven." In a way I feel like that's what I am doing. The man was happy to have the sandwich, but I just felt guilty as I might have did it for the wrong reasons.

Am I expecting too much from myself or am I not expecting enough of myself.

Any thoughts will be appreciated.

Thanks
Elizabeth

It may sound elementary, but Satan always has a way of causing us to doubt ourselves, especially if we've been distant from God. Your desire to buy someone a sandwich and drink was motivated by Christ's love and compasion for all of us.

But its hard to ignore that little voice, but you can short-circuit Satan buy simply following through on buying the sandwich and feeding that person and giving the glory to God.

Continue to pray for peace and guidance.

KC Catholic

 

[Phoebe]

KC,that's what I told her in a PM!

 

[KC Catholic]

KC,that's what I told her in a PM!

Great minds think alike!

 

[Phoebe]

Great minds think alike!

Gee, I don't know what to say!

 

[KennySe]

Elizabeth, Welcome to ChristianForums, and to One Bread, One Body (OBOB) Catholic Discussions board.

Be not afraid. God is with you.
Really.

He led you here.
You can pray with us in "The Chapel" subforum. You can look at the beautiful stained glass and icons and pictures there too.
You can socialize in "The Pub", which is a thread on this board.

The priest at my church said I have a "childish" knowledge of God. I still see God as a stern taskmaster, not as a loving parent. I think he is right, hence my questions.

Sometimes less is more.
We cannot, as human beings, fully explain the ways of God. Sometimes thinking too much becomes a bad thing.

What we need is faith. Faith that God loves His children. When we accept His love, knowing that we did not earn His love, but that He loves us as His children, then that's the greatest feeling of peace.

As a young girl, did your mom make you do things because she was a stern taskmaster, or because she was the parent and you were the child, and she loves you?

First, how does one know or feel God's love, and how does one love God? I keep expecting some kind of falling down rapture and that I will be filled with uncontrollable joy.

I don't see fireworks or hear harps or smell heavenly flowers.
Some do, but I don't.

I feel peace. I find comfortable rest, when I pray and when I read the Bible. Kinda like a warm blanket on a cold winter day.. that's the best way I can describe it.

When people say they love God, is that love like what you feel for you family and friends or is it different?

That's a good way to say it. Because God is Our Father.

Ever see how teen boys express their love for their Dad? It's not all huggy, but it is love. Maybe a tap on the shoulder or a high five at a sports event.

Secondly, how can I do kind things for people without feeling that I'm trying to win God's approval or make up for past sins or meanness on my part?

When you start having those thoughts, like at the grocery store, just stop yourself and think THIS > "Jesus wants us to love one another as He loves us, so that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to help that person because that person is a child of God and so am I."

Am I expecting too much from myself or am I not expecting enough of myself

I don't know. (How's that for an answer. )
I think you need to cut yourself some slack.

You can't learn everything that the Catholic Church teaches in a day.
You can't expect to be as giving as Mother Theresa in a dy, either.
Just keep your focus on Jesus, pray, read the Bible which is His words for us, have fellowship with positive Catholics who can support you as you grow in your faith.. and simultaneously YOU will be supporting them. That's what friends and family are for.

And cut yourself some slack.

Peace be with you,
Kenny

 

[thereselittleflower]

First, how does one know or feel God's love, and how does one love God? I keep expecting some kind of falling down rapture and that I will be filled with uncontrollable joy. But this is not what I feel. I've always said I believe in God, and I do, but I sometimes feel like I do because not believing would be awful. This is causing me lots of inner turmoil. When people say they love God, is that love like what you feel for you family and friends or is it different?

Hi Elizabeth! It is wonderful that the Holy Spirit is wooing you back to the fullness of faith in Chrsit . . never doubt for a moment that it is He and not your own self, even if you are not able to actualluy perceive that it is Him calling your heart back to Himself. . .

I have some thoughts I would like to share that I hope will help . .

Love, the love God's asks of us, is not an emotion, or an experience or a feeling .. it is a choice . it is an action . .It is so wonderful when love is accompanied by feelings and emotional experiences . . but feelings and emotional experiences are not at all necessary to have love for, and to be truly loving, God.

Agape love, which is God's pure love, is a choice.

When you asked if loving God is like loving your family and friends, the answer is yes and no . . love of family and friends is genearlly a filial love . . agape love transcends this love . .and it is a gift from God ..

Satan will try to get you to doubt that you love God, especially in the absence of "emotional " or 'sensible" experience . . . God allows this, it proves us, strengthens us, as we move away from the emotional and sensible elements to the deeper realities of agape love.. love for the beloved's sake . .

Satan will try to accuse those who are on the portion of the path where they are still moving from a desire for sensible experiences to love that is a choice that does not need such sensible experiences . . . (and those who achieve such a state are very mature in their faith, most of us are nowhere close to suh a state).

Mother Theresa was one . . after, as a young nun, having tremendous experieince of visions of Christ in which He told her what she was to do, she no longer had any sensible experiences of God in any way for the rest of her life . . she doubted her love for God at times .. yet she still chose to love God . . she did not have rapturous experiences .. she didn't even have the small experiences many feel when they partake of the Eucharist . . nothing .. she was in a spiritual desert without respite for the rest of her life . . Very, very few are called to such a life . . yet, yes, she loved God . .and God's love and presence in her was so evident to all who met her .. she was very close to God, yet did not experience that closeness . . but others experienced it through her . .

It is natural to want and desire to experience God's love in such an incredible way . .yes, it can be like what you say you think should happen . . but it is not so common .. God wants us to seek instead His face . . and what He gives us He does so on an individual basis, giving us exactly what is best for us . . for some, that is deep sensible spiritual experiences .. for others, there are minimal spiritual experiences .. but God is leading both alike ..

That you have not experienced some of these experiences yet, does not mean that you won't experience them at some point . .but it also doesn't mean that your love for God is any less real . . When the devil tempts you to think that your love may not be real for whatever reason, remember that love, agape love, is a choice, not a feeling. And that you choose to love God in faith, believing Him and His promises. . . Seek to love God despite the lack of sensible feeling . . your love will be more sure because it is not based on feeling . . so when the feelings disappear, your love remains strong and sure . .

Secondly, how can I do kind things for people without feeling that I'm trying to win God's approval or make up for past sins or meanness on my part? For example, today I needed to buy something at the grocery store. On the way in I say a homeless man selling newspapers. While I was in the store I thought: "I will buy that man a sandwich and a drink." While I was paying for my stuff I thought: "You are just doing this because you are trying to earn your way into Heaven." In a way I feel like that's what I am doing. The man was happy to have the sandwich, but I just felt guilty as I might have did it for the wrong reasons.[/quoe]

These two questions are actually related . . they are both about love . .

Christ gave us two commands .. to love God with all our heart, soul and strength, and to love our neighbor as ourself . .

When you have these thoughts to help another like this, they are a prompting from the Holy Spirit, God's grace working in you . . they are your love for God being made manifest in love for your neighbor . .

What you experienced when the thought came to you upon which you acted is really PROOF POSITIVE that you do indeed love God! . . It was a result of your love for God . . and Satan wants to take every advantage He can to sow confusion and doubt in our hearts and minds.

It is interesting this attack was in regards to accusing you of trying to 'earn' your way to heaven (as if we could make ourselves right in God's eyes by our own strength) . . but your post here tells us that you know you can't earn your way to heaven by "works" like this . . so the accusation is obviously a false one as, if you know you can't earn your way to heaven through works, then why would you even think of doing a good work like this in the first place? How could you desire to do something you know can't be done? . . It would be meaningless and pointless. Satan tried to accuse you of a purely selfish desire that in the circumstances is illogical and he can succeed in getting us to believe him . . he is a master of that believe me . .

When the Holy Spirit convicts us, it is not like this .. there is no despair, no condemnation . . this all comes from the enemy ..

The enemy knows you really do love God even though you aren't "feeling" it like you hope to or would expect, and he is seeing you manifest that real love you have for God by expressing it to others in acts of kindness such as the one you described above . . these are indeed "good works" that are a necessary response to God's Grace in our lives and and they affect our salvation ... . but they do not "earn" us salvation in and of themselves .. faith and works are so intricately tied together that they are inseparable .. just like inhaling and exhaling .. if you have one without the other . . you die . . you have to have both to live.

Satan is trying to get you to feel condemned based on false accusations to discourage you from continuing in more good works because he knows how powerful such good works are in advancing the kingdom of God and drawing you closer and closer to God yourself. He is trying to take your eyes off of God and onto yourself. . . Understanding these things will help you when you encounter them to recognize them for what they are and dismiss them as so much chaff in the wind . .

I hope this wasn't too much, and I hope it has helped . . Draw closer to God through prayer and the sacraments (as soon as you can partake of the Eucharist, do so) - If you can go to Eucharistic Adoration, please go . . being in the presence of Jesus in this special way really affects one's spiritual walk with the Lord.


Peace in Him!

 

[Preachers12]

First, how does one know or feel God's love, and how does one love God? I keep expecting some kind of falling down rapture and that I will be filled with uncontrollable joy. But this is not what I feel. I've always said I believe in God, and I do, but I sometimes feel like I do because not believing would be awful. This is causing me lots of inner turmoil. When people say they love God, is that love like what you feel for you family and friends or is it different?

eBeth, God give you Peace.

Welcome to CF! I read through the responses and wonder how it is that this place is blessed with such love and wisdom! Praise be to God!

I will only add that you are in good company in your questions of "love" and God. Here is a quote from St. Augustine which I hope may help you:

"Give me Yourself, O my God, give me Yourself, that I may love You; and if my love is not very fervent, make me love You more ardently.

I cannot measure what is wanting in my love to make it what it ought to be, to make it run to meet Your embrace, and not to leave it until my life is hidden in the light of Your face; this I know, that all is a source of evil for me except You, O Lord, and not only what is outside of me, but also what is within me. All wealth which is not my God is poverty and misery for me."

Pray, pray and then pray more. That is the track which keeps us on the way to Agape.

God Bless,
P12