Questioned resolved

[Emma2332]

I work with this guy who also is a Christian. My thing is why is he always around me and always taking glances at me and sometimes stares at me. Should Christians of the opposite sex engage in such activities? Should that be reserved for the man or woman that God wants you to marry? Like why would a man or ♀️ focus on a particular person if they know that's not their future spouse?

 

[PloverWing]

Are you both single? He might be interested in you romantically but might be too shy to say anything. Maybe he thinks you could be his future spouse.

On the other hand, too much staring (especially in the workplace) starts to cross over into creepiness.

Has either of you actually said anything directly to each other? Like "I would like to date you." "I would like that too"/"No thank you".

 

[Emma2332]

Are you both single? He might be interested in you romantically but might be too shy to say anything. Maybe he thinks you could be his future spouse.

On the other hand, too much staring (especially in the workplace) starts to cross over into creepiness.

Has either of you actually said anything directly to each other? Like "I would like to date you." "I would like that too"/"No thank you".

The thing is I actually told him that I liked him and he said he didn't have the time and that he had a bad experience. He's in the military and is juggling a lot of things. After he said all of that he continues to watch me and asked other coworkers where I am when I don't show up to work due to being sick.

My friend told me he brought me up in a conversation and she said his face lit up like a Christmas tree after he mentioned my name. I've seen him go red in the face and smile before trying to say hi to me. So I don't know what's going, God haven't spoke to me about him being my spouse and plus he's way younger than I am and I don't think God would put two people together with such a big age gap.

 

[johansen]

Will God remove romantic feelings from your heart if their for the wrong person?

Not in my experience.

You have to do the work to guard your heart and remove them.

I once fell in love, briefly, with a woman's voice. I didnt actually see her and we have not crossed paths since. It took a few weeks to get over that.

 

[PloverWing]

The thing is I actually told him that I liked him and he said he didn't have the time and that he had a bad experience. He's in the military and is juggling a lot of things. After he said all of that he continues to watch me and asked other coworkers where I am when I don't show up to work due to being sick.

My friend told me he brought me up in a conversation and she said his face lit up like a Christmas tree after he mentioned my name. I've seen him go red in the face and smile before trying to say hi to me. So I don't know what's going, God haven't spoke to me about him being my spouse and plus he's way younger than I am and I don't think God would put two people together with such a big age gap.

How big an age gap are we talking about -- how much younger is he? Your profile says you're 21. Is he still a teenager?

If you like him, and he seems to like you, but also he's wary because of a bad experience and he doesn't have time for a relationship right now -- if all that is going on, then maybe just give everything some time. Do your day-to-day work, and make light conversation over the coffee pot every so often, and let him heal from whatever's in his past, and see if you still like each other in 6 months.

God may or may not ever speak to you about who your spouse is going to be. You may end up having to decide about your spouse just by thinking things through carefully -- do the two of you seem to get along most of the time, do you make each other happy, are you kind and caring towards each other, etc.

 

[Hazelelponi]

I work with this guy who also is a Christian. My thing is why is he always around me and always taking glances at me and sometimes stares at me. Should Christians of the opposite sex engage in such activities? Should that be reserved for the man or woman that God wants you to marry? Like why would a man or ♀️ focus on a particular person if they know that's not their future spouse?

Christians are prone to hormones and temptations same as anyone else, they just make a more conscious decision not to follow through on those types of feelings.

It sounds like the gentleman in question does have feelings, certainly curiosity about you romantically (perhaps brought on by you exclaiming your own feelings) but he knows he's not in the right place to take it anywhere... At least right now.

I would stop thinking about him, and make a more conscious effort yourself to avoid paying undue attention to him.

For instance, for you to even notice that he's noticing you means your doing your fair share of staring at him/stealing glances, though you may not consciously recognise your doing it yourself.

What your doing, however unconsciously, is clearly bringing attention to yourself. So make a more conscious effort to avoid paying him any attention and live your life.

If it's ever the right time for both of you at the same time he'll make it known, but I wouldn't even consider that potential. I'd just move on - meaning stop noticing what he's doing, and stop caring about what he's doing.

 

[Emma2332]

Christians are prone to hormones and temptations same as anyone else, they just make a more conscious decision not to follow through on those types of feelings.

It sounds like the gentleman in question does have feelings, certainly curiosity about you romantically (perhaps brought on by you exclaiming your own feelings) but he knows he's not in the right place to take it anywhere... At least right now.

I would stop thinking about him, and make a more conscious effort yourself to avoid paying undue attention to him.

For instance, for you to even notice that he's noticing you means your doing your fair share of staring at him/stealing glances, though you may not consciously recognise your doing it yourself.

What your doing, however unconsciously, is clearly bringing attention to yourself. So make a more conscious effort to avoid paying him any attention and live your life.

If it's ever the right time for both of you at the same time he'll make it known, but I wouldn't even consider that potential. I'd just move on - meaning stop noticing what he's doing, and stop caring about what he's doing.

I just want to say this, him staring was brought to my attention by another coworker I didn't believe it until I stared at him and that's when he turned around and started staring when he saw that I was already looking he just held his head down because he was caught. And he blushes too sometimes so yeah it wasn't really me watching him so much because I was too afraid to even make eye contact with him. But thanks for the well thoughtful response ☺️

 

[Hazelelponi]

I just want to say this, him staring was brought to my attention by another coworker I didn't believe it until I stared at him and that's when he turned around and started staring when he saw that I was already looking he just held his head down because he was caught. And he blushes too sometimes so yeah it wasn't really me watching him so much because I was too afraid to even make eye contact with him. But thanks for the well thoughtful response ☺️

Just keep ignoring him then... I'm sure this isn't the first man to look at you and won't be the last.

His looking doesn't mean he's not Christian, he's just fighting his own feelings and sometimes loosing the battle is all .

 

[BobRyan]

I work with this guy who also is a Christian. My thing is why is he always around me and always taking glances at me and sometimes stares at me. Should Christians of the opposite sex engage in such activities? Should that be reserved for the man or woman that God wants you to marry? Like why would a man or ♀️ focus on a particular person if they know that's not their future spouse?

Sounds like the two of you are attracted to each other. Ask him about something neutral - for example ask him if he would like to read through the Gospel of John with you at a library or some other public place.