Question

[Bruyas]

Me or my brother does not have a job. We are running out of money and indont see any hope. I am thinking of committing suicide so that my brother will live. I know it is not Christian like however this is the only way to ensure at least one of us survives. At least he will have enough money to last him a lot longer. I don't know what else to do. I am physically disabled and my brother has mental problems and he will not look for a job. I am partially physically disabled and my brother has mental problems and he will not look for a job. Does anyone else have any good ideas or any other solutions. If not, that will be the best way to solve this problem.

 

[orangeness365]

I don't have any solutions for you. But remember that your life still is valuable to God and to your brother even if you can't work. Can you get disability since you're physically handicapped? If your brother is filled with grief and overwhelming sorrow from your death, then how is he going to survive? People that have family members that committed suicide are more likely to commit suicide themselves. He already has mental problems. How do you think his mental state would fare without you? Having family that you love is one of the most valuable things you can have in this life.

 

[Bruyas]

He is in a state of denial and thinks he can keep living the limited amount he has forever. I have tried to prepare him but he just says I will deal with it when it happens. Even if sad for a few days after I am gone, he will just resume where he left off and play video games all day. He can just subsist on my remaining money. You are right though, there is no solution other than my solution that I can see.

 

[Jeshu]

He is in a state of denial and thinks he can keep living the limited amount he has forever. I have tried to prepare him but he just says I will deal with it when it happens. Even if sad for a few days after I am gone, he will just resume where he left off and play video games all day. He can just subsist on my remaining money. You are right though, there is no solution other than my solution that I can see.

It is total nonsense that there would be no other way than death to fix this problem - the solution just hasn't come past yet and/or you are looking the wrong way and don't see it is already in place. To make right decisions you better stay in the truths of Scripture and not plan deeds the word of God forbids.

To think your death will not impact your brother in a bad way is just speculation. Have you ever gone through a suicide of a loved one? Do you have any idea what such can do to people, and who will protect and love your brother? When my brother in law committed suicide he devastated his children, it took them years to get over it, especially his daughter. Not only that they are all three still badly effected by it. Please don't play around with death.

So rather than seeking death as solution I challenge you to make contact with Jesus and see what He brings into your life and into the life of your brother.

Life is precious, we may not take it into our hands to kill it, not our own either.

Peace

Here have a look how the truth deals with impossible situations.

Isaiah 55
“Come, all you who are thirsty,
come to the waters;
and you who have no money,
come, buy and eat!
Come, buy wine and milk
without money and without cost.
Why spend money on what is not bread,
and your labor on what does not satisfy?
Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good,
and you will delight in the richest of fare.
Give ear and come to me;
listen, that you may live.
I will make an everlasting covenant with you,
my faithful love promised to David.
See, I have made him a witness to the peoples,
a ruler and commander of the peoples.
Surely you will summon nations you know not,
and nations you do not know will come running to you,
because of the Lord your God,
the Holy One of Israel,
for he has endowed you with splendor.”


Seek the Lord while he may be found;
call on him while he is near.
Let the wicked forsake their ways
and the unrighteous their thoughts.
Let them turn to the Lord, and he will have mercy on them,
and to our God, for he will freely pardon.


“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the Lord.
“As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.
As the rain and the snow
come down from heaven,
and do not return to it
without watering the earth
and making it bud and flourish,
so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,
so is my word that goes out from my mouth:
It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.
You will go out in joy
and be led forth in peace;
the mountains and hills
will burst into song before you,
and all the trees of the field
will clap their hands.
Instead of the thornbush will grow the juniper,
and instead of briers the myrtle will grow.
This will be for the Lord’s renown,
for an everlasting sign,
that will endure forever.”

 

[vinsight4u]

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[Bruyas]

I do pray to Jesus everyday hopefully to find a solution but nothing comes about and I know that solutions don't come immediately. I will continue to pray and hopefully a solution will present itself. I I've talked to a pastor about this as well, it's just so difficult especially when you don't see any solutions but that is my end plan if I can't find any solutions.. Hopefully my actions and will.be seen as a good thing done for my brother.

 

[vinsight4u]

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[Tempura]

Your solution is not a solution. Your solution will not help your brother or yourself. Your brother would be broken and you would be dead.

Do whatever you can. Go through any possible channels for help, including social security, filing for disability pensions, professional help and groups for depression and such. Whatever it is and no matter how many times it takes, no matter how many people you have to bother. Will you tell a homeless man to kill himself, so he could somehow save his friends with it? Anyone can see how that doesn't make any sense. Did Christ suggest that living with possessions is the only way to live? No, He said otherwise. Your life is more than your wallet, and so is your brother's.

Do what you can, and don't give in to despair. If you feel despair, then you do, but don't give in to it. I'm guessing your "solution" isn't about the situation itself, it's about how you feel and see things. You are clearly depressed and distressed. When you, or anyone, feels the way you do, there is no wisdom in it. It's tunnelvision of the worst kind, and it is the real enemy, much worse than the situation at hand. It's not the ultimate reality, and it can be helped. I hope you get help, no matter how and when, and I said a prayer for you and your brother. God bless you both.

Meanwhile, if you have paypal account, give me a PM and I'll help you out a little. I've been helped, and now it's my turn. If you don't have one, set one up.

 

[Bruyas]

Is there a free hotline where I can talk to Christian counselor s out there?

 

[Tempura]

Is there a free hotline where I can talk to Christian counselor s out there?

Plenty of numbers here, right at the first page on this depression forums: http://www.christianforums.com/threads/crisis-hotlines-resources.7618491/

also if somebody knows strictly christian ones, I hope they can give some numbers, because the list I linked to is so packed that it might be hard to find the exact thing that one is looking for.

 

[vinsight4u]

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[Bruyas]

I would like to talk to someone about it.

 

[LoyalToGod]

Hello there! I saw your visitor post on my profile, and I think I may have a few ideas on helping you with extra money.

 

[Bruyas]

What would the ideas be

 

[LoyalToGod]

Online surveys, selling some items. Sorry for not helping much

 

[orangeness365]

Is there a free hotline where I can talk to Christian counselor s out there?

I've never checked out these website, but maybe you can find what you are looking for here...

https://brokenbelievers.com/2011/01/23/247-crisis-lines/

http://suicidehelplines.org/

• Lovelines (24 hours in the USA) @ 612-379-1199 (can not accept collect calls). This is a Christian help line.

 

[Kenny'sID]

I was afraid to spend too much time reading all other post for obvious reasons, so first and most importantly, hold off on the suicide...not a good idea.

Secondly, are you on any kind of public assistance? If not have you looked into if you or your brother qualify?? If in the US, what State?

 

[Bruyas]

I went to church yesterday and I felt better after I left however today I feel alone and still depressed. is there a way to cope with these feelings or how do you deal with it when you are going through these emotions? I am taking sleeping pills, to make me forget, but what else can I do?

 

[Tempura]

Don't take sleeping pills to make you forget, take them only when you can't sleep without them. Otherwise your tolerance will rise and they won't work as well.

I coped in many ways. I got help. Not all of the help worked, but even some failed treatments or medicine experiments paved way for things that would help. Sometimes I really had to accept help that I didn't want, including some hospitals trips, but I don't regret them now. Also, when I was in treatment, I felt I was actually doing something. Like praying, it's being active in one's hope. At some point I got meds that worked. Benzos mostly. I became an addict (that's why I warned you about not eating too much of those sleeping pills if they're benzodiazepines), but I managed to cut the dose down during a certain hospital trip, and I hope I can shake them off in a year or two.

Another thing was time. It took time. I had to really humble myself because I had no other choice. With it came the understanding that I can't do everything, and that I have to accept some other things, including my weaknesses. Serenity prayer has the same idea to it: change what you can, and accept the things you can't change, and hoping for wisdom to separate these two.

I learned to not trust my feelings if I'm down. When I'm really down, they don't help at all. They're basically lies, and it becomes about depression feeding on itself, not about reality. I tried to put my faith on Christ instead of my erratic feelings. That's where I still go to, if I'm distressed, I go to Christ in the end.

edit: Also, there are plenty of good things in the world. I have always loved music, and when I play some Neil Young or Sufjan Stevens, it gives me something I can't get from anywhere else. Animals are great and fun to be around, and certain people too. When I see some kids playing, it can be fun. I like ice hockey. I like stories. I like some videogames. I like learning new things every once in a while. Not everything has to be about darkness and gloom, and we can enjoy whatever it is we enjoy. It can be hard for a depressed person to accept good things, and instead think "It'll all pass soon, why enjoy anything", but good things are good things nonetheless, and we can take them as they come.

It takes time, self-reflection, honesty and sometimes effort (especially the getting help part, but it's worth it). Some days, it's just about enduring, but there's always light in the end. You will get there. Plenty of hope, plenty of good things, we just often choose to not see it. One day at a time. Said a prayer for you.

 

[Press On]

Brokenbelievers......wonderful site that tells it like it is....very honest. I recommend it also.

Feelings+depression=lies. Tempura is absolutely correct. It's crucial to understand this.