Question

[DoesAnybodyHearHer]

hi,
just wanted to ask a question really
i was physically and mentally bullied for 4yrs in secondary school (i was 11-15), none of the teachers believed me until she bought in a knife to harm me.
i was talking to one of my friends about it she that it sounded like abuse, but i really dont know!! It still really affects me but my parents basically think i have gotten over it because it happened a long time ago.
What do you think?

 

[DoesAnybodyHearHer]

hello?
i know it's a bit of a strange question
you can pm me if you want

 

[Kristen.NewCreation]

There are various types of abuse, and while bullying is not typically called abuse, it can still create abuse related symptoms. If you think about it, abuse can be much like bullying - intimidation, threatening, bribes, creating fear, panic, stress, shame, etc. I think that with any trauma, we have to work through it to whatever extent we need to put it into it's place. Because we are individuals, our ability to manage various situations are individual as well. I may deal better with this issue, while you deal better with that issue.

Having never been bullied, I can't speak from that end. Having been abused, I can definitely see how they are very similar in effects.

 

[Johnnz]

only you really know if you have gotten over it. If you still have some issues there try talking with a suitable person, someone wise, sensitive and experienced.

John
NZ

 

[quietheart]

IMO bullying is abuse, period. It's someone making the other person feel bad in order to remain in control or feel better about themselves for some reason.
Es

 

[WhiteFaith]

you didnt give much details but if it has affected you this much, and years after then id assume we can call it abuse..

 

[DoesAnybodyHearHer]

thanks for your opinions everyone

 

[Surviving]

Hello,

I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling like this. Just to let you know that I have been abused and I have also been bullied. I was bullied thoughout most of my childhood in various schools. This would include alot of name calling, people throwing things at me, hitting me, threats, etc. Every day I hated going to school. I felt like I had no friends and it left me feeling so worthless. It has taken me a while to come to terms with what happened in my childhood, both with the abuse and the bullying.

Personally, I class it as two seperate issue. I don't class bullying as abuse. However, I do feel that Kristen has made a good point that both issues can bring about the same feelings. I guess because I have been through both, I would class it as different. maybe if I wasn't abused I would say that bullying is like being abused.

I hope that what I have written has helped and not hindered. I am in no way detracting what you have gone through nor am I saying that what you have gone through is not significant. You have experienced something that has been traumatic to you. I don't say that you get over things, but that you learn to deal with them and use what has happened to you to strengthen you.

take care of yourself.

 

[quietheart]

I somewhat agree, survivor, but I've also suffered from both. I still can't help but feel personally that bullying is another form of abuse, but I do see your perspective.
Es

 

[Tsadde]

What matters is how it effects you, not whether others consider bullying to be considered "real" abuse or not.

I have known people who have walked away from head-on collisions at highway speed and yet another who became a quadriplegic as a result of falling out of a bunk bed.

Something that can seem like a relatively small incident to some can have devastating effects on others. If the bullying caused you lasting pain and you are having a hard time letting go, then you still need to heal.