T
TransmitterTech
Guest
I am not presently divorced but I did actually file for divorce in my present marriage. I may be judged harshly for saying this (because there are always two sides) but I have ask The Lord why I couldn't find the woman that would have made me happy for a lifetime. My first wife is a hypochondriac and a very critical person. After 32 years of marriage she was making me physically and mentally sick with her constant whining and critical behaviors. My three children will back me up on that. My second wife is certifiably crazy but she was a wonderful sex partner and I had been denied way too much in my first marriage. She ended up throwing me out when I lost my job and was having trouble finding one. (Bad priorities on her part). I found my present wife on an internet dating site and the first time she contacted me I said "no thank you" because of her statement that "she didn't believe in organized religion". That was a red flag and one that I should have continued to pay attention to. Problem was I was very frustrated in finding a true Christian woman as it seems they all liked to date but were not interested in marriage. I re-contacted the first woman and we ended up getting married. Maybe God wanted us together so I could disciple her, which I have done. Until recently she was dead to the Holy Spirit. Spiritual things were over her head (just as the Bible says, "these things are spiritually discerned). She has been an extremely frustrating person to live with. She stays friends with old boy friends, she uses bad language even though she has admitted she didn't do that before the death of her former husband, she can be very coarse and unlady-like. (She has to call the toilet a "[bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse]" and one time she had a lengthy discussion on the phone about her daughter's anal sex.....her daughter has growths in her colon and I'm pretty sure it's due to that anal sex). She refuses to have sexual relations of any kind, even to just play around so I can do my thing.....(which causes me to be tempted by porn and live a cycle of guilt). She won't snuggle with me even in bed; she turns her back to me. I've tried getting over close to her and she just ignores me. And, yet with all this, when twice I left her she cried her eyes out and convinced me to come back. I sometimes feel like all she wants is the company, not a real husband. There is much more to her strange behavior but I finally had to make peace with God and agree to live with her and love her where she's at. It's very difficult some days; I get so frustrated I want to scream and sometimes I lose my cool and yell at her and I've thrown things at the wall. There's still stuff bottled up inside of me and I have to look to God constantly for help. Is this relating to anyone else?
