Question to Guys

[Jupiter Drops]

Female members are free to answer my question as well:

Are guys usually okay with marrying someone who is not their 'ideal'? In other words, are guys okay with marrying just about any woman for the sake of comfort and avoiding loneliness?

I sometimes have conversations about marriage with guys, and it seems like the answer is about marrying a woman, and that's about it.

 

[redblue22]

I have no idea what to tell you. You've always resisted my advances.

 

[DaedraSun]

Female members are free to answer my question as well:

Are guys usually okay with marrying someone who is not their 'ideal'? In other words, are guys okay with marrying just about any woman for the sake of comfort and avoiding loneliness?

I sometimes have conversations about marriage with guys, and it seems like the answer is about marrying a woman, and that's about it.

No guy is going to be able to answer this for "guys" as if we were all the same, Jupiter.

The conversations you are having with guys probably doesn't reflect the larger spectrum of how one guy chooses one girl over another.

Speaking for myself, there are definitely "types" of women that I couldn't marry. That's another subject though.

Side note: You may as well identify as female - as your posts largely indicate that you are probably one.

 

[Jupiter Drops]

I have no idea what to tell you. You've always resisted my advances.

You're only proving the point of my question here.

 

[Jupiter Drops]

No guy is going to be able to answer this for "guys" as if we were all the same, Jupiter.

The conversations you are having with guys probably doesn't reflect the larger spectrum of how one guy chooses one girl over another.

Speaking for myself, there are definitely "types" of women that I couldn't marry. That's another subject though.

Side note: You may as well identify as female - as your posts largely indicate that you are probably one.

Everyone -at least, most members here- know that I am female



But so as long as she's not those "types," would you marry her?

 

[Neve]

I sometimes have conversations about marriage with guys, and it seems like the answer is about marrying a woman, and that's about it.

Do you mean "a" woman or "any" woman?

 

[Jupiter Drops]

Do you mean "a" woman or "any" woman?

I guess "any." Whichever female that's alright to them comes their way.

 

[.Mikha'el.]

I think it depends on the individual, and how ok he is with being a bachelor. The more frustrated and lonely a guy is, the more likely he is to abandon his idea of what the right girl might be.

 

[redblue22]

You're only proving the point of my question here.

I thought you posted your question in good faith--as if you were really interested. Since you have no intention of your question being a fair question, perhaps you could explain the "POINT" of your question. I might comment on your real intention.

(walks away feeling offended)

.

 

[Jupiter Drops]

I think it depends on the individual, and how ok he is with being a bachelor. The more frustrated and lonely a guy is, the more likely he is to abandon his idea of what the right girl might be.

This makes sense to me. I think that it can go the same way for girls too.

 

[DaedraSun]

But so as long as she's not those "types," would you marry her?

Not necessarily. I think a lot more comes into the question of making that commitment than having a typological preference (that is to say, avoidance of what perceives as negative typology to them) and also being lonely making any given female falling into the former insta-marriageable.

For me personally, I don't even date right now because I'm not working. I had a female friend ask me recently why I'm not seeing anyone and the simple answer was "I'm not working".

You seem to be asking the question as if there's a universal answer that can be applied to all (or most) guys in any given circumstance. I think any answer to that is going to come up short.

 

[William67]

As with anything, I can only answer for myself. No, I could not marry "any" woman. There are a specific set of traits I am looking for. Im 46, 47 in a couple of weeks, and have never been married. Im not grotesque in appearance and have a nice personality in rl.

So, what does that tell you?

 

[Jupiter Drops]

I thought you posted your question in good faith--as if you were really interested. Since you have no intention of your question being a fair question, perhaps you could explain the "POINT" of your question. I might comment on you real intention.

(walks away feeling offended)

.

Clear as mud post.

 

[Neve]

I think it depends on the individual, and how ok he is with being a bachelor. The more frustrated and lonely a guy is, the more likely he is to abandon his idea of what the right girl might be.

Up to a point - studies show that the likelihood of bachelors marrying significantly declines after the age of 40. Given this, I would say that older men seem to hold on to the "ideal" rather than settle for just any female that walks by. But, once again, age counts in this scenario.

I think a younger man might be more likely to settle than a man beyond his late 30s.

 

[redblue22]

JD: But you see I am--in fact--answering your question.

.

 

[Lord Of The Forest]

I reckon it depends on what the ideal is in the first place. If a man (hopefully because of his employment) cannot cook, do housework, and is lonely, then his ideal might be an amiable and capable woman for domestic services, companionship, and a bedfellow.

Honestly, intimate (as in close, not sexual per se) companionship is the main thing that attracts me about marriage, but if I were to marry for companionship, my ideal would be someone who shares many of my interests. But then again, that would be a prerequisite to any marriage of mine, I should think.

I wouldn't marry just any woman (even if we had common interests), if that's what you're asking.

 

[Jupiter Drops]

Not necessarily. I think a lot more comes into the question of making that commitment than having a typological preference (that is to say, avoidance of what perceives as negative typology to them) and also being lonely making any given female falling into the former insta-marriageable.

For me personally, I don't even date right now because I'm not working. I had a female friend ask me recently why I'm not seeing anyone and the simple answer was "I'm not working".

You seem to be asking the question as if there's a universal answer that can be applied to all (or most) guys in any given circumstance. I think any answer to that is going to come up short.

I'm not looking for a universal answer. I want to know what other people think about this question.

As with anything, I can only answer for myself. No, I could not marry "any" woman. There are a specific set of traits I am looking for. Im 46, 47 in a couple of weeks, and have never been married. Im not grotesque in appearance and have a nice personality in rl.

So, what does that tell you?

That you're high maintanence.

I'm joking, btw.

 

[redblue22]

I would start with the problem of thinking all men are alike. Take a moment. Are you like every woman you've ever met? Are you like the majority of women you've met?

And speaking on behalf of my limited experience of men, some insist on the ideal and some do not. Those wanting an ideal end up being single. I cannot recall any man wanting to marry to avoid discomfort or loneliness. Then again, since I recall my own temptation, I would think others might have that temptation and give in.

as for my other silly comments, yes I did try to get to know you. But my interest was friendly and to the point about you being so creative. In other words, you were talking about meaning and purpose and direction in life and I found it fascinating and thought we might be cool friends. But no.

.

 

[DaedraSun]

I'm not looking for a universal answer. I want to know what other people think about this question.

Ok, forgive me - your questions are often worded in such a way as if you can assume or expect a given answer, or at least one that is much more accepted than another (see bold)

Female members are free to answer my question as well:

Are guys usually okay with marrying someone who is not their 'ideal'? In other words, are guys okay with marrying just about any woman for the sake of comfort and avoiding loneliness?

I sometimes have conversations about marriage with guys, and it seems like the answer is about marrying a woman, and that's about it.

 

[William67]

That you're high maintanence.

I'm joking, btw.

LOL Actually, Im the Legendary "Nice Guy that Finished Last". One reason I havent been seriously looking in the last few years is that Ive about come to the conclusion that all the good women were taken and all thats left, at least in my area, are the dregs. (only half joking).