Question on LCMS Funeral

[MaryEmily]

Hi all, been away for quite a while due to various things in life blowing up. I have pancreatic cancer and will by dying in the near future. 6-12 months is the life expectancy. I've been seeing my pastor at home for visits and the Lord's Supper. My doc wants me to consider going into hospice although right now, I'm not ready. I think when I'm entirely or close to being bedfast, I'll do it.

My husband is not a Lutheran but has attended church with me for a couple of years. He has this burning desire to speak about me at the memorial/funeral service. I said that the appropriate place would be at the after the funeral luncheon (do Lutheran's even do that?) in the recreation room. I want the pastor to do the standard funeral. Do I pick out any songs or is it all on him to select the music?

I'm not sure what to ask him about the funeral or when to start discussing it even. He knows I'm terminal, so it's not unexpected. I want to have the proper service, but I also want my husband to feel some closure with being able to speak. Although neither he nor I can come up with anything to say. He can get wordy though.

So, can anyone enlighten me on how this all works so I don't sound like an idiot when I talk to my pastor?

 

[MarkRohfrietsch]

I'm sorry that you and your family are going through this. It is a great thing that you are considering the witness that our traditional funerals convey, but the feelings and needs of your loved ones.

It would be very appropriate to discuss the choice of hymns and even readings with your Pastor.

Although I no longer work as a Funeral Director, I have worked in the business for a number of years, and I still maintain my License. I can assure you that your situation is not unique, and that there are a number of ways that both your wishes and the needs of your family can be accommodated.

In our area, it is not uncommon for the Pastor to lead prayers at the funeral home the night before the service. Following prayers, the Pastor can invite those who wish to speak to do so. I have also seen family members speak in the Church prior to the beginning of the service. A third alternative would be to do so at a reception following the service. Any these could work if they are acceptable to your Church and your Pastor.

Certainly, you need to consult your Pastor and include your husband. I'm sure that your Pastor can offer guidance, help and support while you make these difficult decisions.

I would also suggest that once you have, that you also share these with your Funeral Director. One may per-arrange one's funeral, and you may also pre-pay, but it is not required.

You and your family will be in my prayers.

Mark

 

[MaryEmily]

Thank you Mark. That was very helpful.

 

[LilLamb219]

Praying for you MaryEmily!! I'm sure there are others here who are praying as well. We just don't know what to say though.

 

[ROCBishop]

Grace mercy and peace from our Lord Jesus Christ I am a retired LCMS Pastor. I believe all arrangements should be left up between the Pastor and family. Nothing wrong with doing all this before you go to be with the Lord. I have all my arrangements written out. The family should have the final say as long as it does not conflict with church doctrine or traditions. May the Lord BLESS you and give you HIS peace.