Question if this sounds BPD?

[s4ndm4n]

Hi, as I mentioned earlier today, I'm new here and hoping for answers. Here is a question, now I know no one here can officially say... but just wondering if this behavior sounds suspicious of being related to BPD?

This is not always so, sometimes when my wife will be out with the kids or even by herself, and I expect her to be back by a certain time even if it was only "implied" that she would be back by then... I panic. I'm not sure I can place the feeling so much as just panicking. At times my thoughts will wander to all kinds of negative things that "she must be doing" all the way up to cheating on me as ridiculous as it sounds since she has never done so or given me real reason to worry about that. Depending on how long the time is, I typically will really explode when she gets home and the poor lady has no idea what the heck is going on! I am blessed that I'm married to a woman that has put up with it for 10+ years now..

Does this sound like BPD?

 

[Gilbert Funk]

Is this an obsession only about your wife, or do you panic whenever anyone is not where you expect them to be at any given time?

 

[s4ndm4n]

Well its not an obsession only with my wife but has been a recurring theme in my life over the years. Hind sight, I was really bad in high school when I was pretty obsessed and paranoid about my gf at the time. I stalked her for a short time, worrying, panicking at times about her doing something like cheating on me. I say "something like cheating" because its not even specifically cheating, its betrayal more specifically. So its always been about important people in my life but not only my significant other(s) but best friends at times too. Just right now I don't really have one IRL, so no one else to panic about.

 

[Gilbert Funk]

Interesting. You fear loss and lonliness, undoubtedly, and stalking is absolutely obsessive behavior, but whether that is about controlling the other person or just fear of loss makes a difference in whether the behavior becomes dangerous or just annoying.

Did you lose someone very close to you when you were young, or did you grow up without one parent? Or did you lose a beloved pet that devastated you?

 

[s4ndm4n]

My father is still alive. Although I have no relationship with him really. There is a lot missing there, although he was "around" he wasn't really "there". My mother was there but only knows how to give things and nurture. i grew up without hugs or much touching, and my current wife when I married her 10 years ago could not get over how I had such a hard time hugging her or other touching. I don't know. I was sick as a kid too and not allowed outside much. Left at home many days sick when mother went off to work and left to my own resources. I have 1 brother and 2 sisters and for some reason still have memories full of isolation..

 

[s4ndm4n]

Oh I've gone the self-help route for years. And therapy, but need to find a good one is all.

 

[Gilbert Funk]

I wish you well in your search of an adequate psychiatric assistant.

It is important for others to realize how difficult this is for you. It is very stressful to carry such angst.

 

[s4ndm4n]

Thank you and God bless.

 

[madison1101]

I can relate to a point. I have always had deep seated fear of abandonment and was terribly insecure in my marriage. In therapy, we were able to trace my abandonment back to childhood trauma.

We cannot diagnose you here, I can only share what I relate to. You need to find a good, licensed psychotherapist and work on this issue in therapy.

If you do not know what the diagnostic criterion are for BPD, you can Google Borderline Personality Disorder and find out that way.

Trish

 

[loveiseverywhere]

Hi, as I mentioned earlier today, I'm new here and hoping for answers. Here is a question, now I know no one here can officially say... but just wondering if this behavior sounds suspicious of being related to BPD?

This is not always so, sometimes when my wife will be out with the kids or even by herself, and I expect her to be back by a certain time even if it was only "implied" that she would be back by then... I panic. I'm not sure I can place the feeling so much as just panicking. At times my thoughts will wander to all kinds of negative things that "she must be doing" all the way up to cheating on me as ridiculous as it sounds since she has never done so or given me real reason to worry about that. Depending on how long the time is, I typically will really explode when she gets home and the poor lady has no idea what the heck is going on! I am blessed that I'm married to a woman that has put up with it for 10+ years now..

Does this sound like BPD?

Please don't ask complete strangers on the internet to diagnose you.

SEE A DOCTOR.

 

[s4ndm4n]

Please don't ask complete strangers on the internet to diagnose you.

SEE A DOCTOR.

Of course, it would be very unwise to expect any answers here to be a serious diagnosis. Don't worry I wouldn't go out and use make life changing decisions based on this or any forum full of strangers.

 

[myanchor]

Yeah, but the criteria you find when you google are scary. Especially a zinger for me was abandonment issues.

I kind of wish they would call it something less pejorative like emotional lability.

I dunno if I gots it, but will go to a therapist to find out.