Question for working mothers...and a little rant ;)

[Jilly123]

I feel like tearing my hair out - how on earth do you manage to work all day and keep your house tidy? Don't you feel like you are being pulled in so many different directions? There are just not enough hours in the day.

I work from home but I literally spend the entire day behind the computer. I have a very stressful job and often end up working until 10pm and on weekends. I often do a quick tidy up before bed but some nights I am just too exhausted.

If it was just my hubby and I it would be fine but our 2 year old daughter is like a little tornado. She is very active and manages to mess up the house after being awake for 10 minutes

We do teach her to clean up after herself. She will gladly clean up if we tell her to but it's not something she remembers to do on her own.

It's frustrating because I am a perfectionist. I hate living in mess and the house permanently looks like a bomb has hit it. The only day it is clean is on Wednesday when we have a cleaning lady come here.

The untidy house is only a part of the problem. I feel like a bad wife because the house is always a mess, these days my husband is lucky if I make a cooked meal for supper and I am always snapping at him and DD. I wish I didn't have to work. I am a much better person when I'm not working

 

[pmcleanj]

1. Set limits on your work. You can't do more than you can do: if your job demanded that you work 25 hours a day you wouldn't do it. Well, you can't do 13 hours a day, either. Declare your stop-time, and STOP at that time. When you work overtime for more than 2 weeks, your efficiency falls by roughly the same percentage as the overtime you worked, so you're not gaining anything by overworking, anyway. Keep it to 50 hours a week or less.
2. Give up on perfectionism. If you don't know yet about www.flylady.com check it out; her programme of "baby steps" is targetted, among other things, on helping people become less perfectionistic and more able to live with "good enough". Humble yourself to use the wonderful labour-saving options we have nowadays: euro-style beds that are easily made, pre-cooked entrees and instant mashed potatos, open shelves with fewer toys instead of a traditional overstuffed toy-chest
3. Don't let yourself imagine that a 2-year-old cleaning up after herself SHOULD help out. Of course she should be taught to help with the household tasks. But this is the learning stage, not the doing stage, in her life. When she helps it will take longer. Don't let that stop you: the extra time you take now showing her that you appreciate and enjoy the time you spend together on chores will pay off when she is ten or thirteen and able to do them cheerfully. For you, as teacher, this is short-term-pain for long-term-gain; or, a sound investment of your time. So see point 1) -- a business woman should know where to invest at what time. Right now, the two-year-old is a good investment.
4. You can't really work effectively and do effective childcare at the same time. Your attention is divided and both are going to suffer. Can you get someone to come in and watch your daughter (and help guide her in the cleaning-up-arter-yourself effort)? Otherwise, the only focussed work time you've got is during her nap. Even a junior-high student coming in after school, which should be cheaper than regular daycare or nanny, could give you four hours a day to work undistracted.

 

[Leanna]

You can't really work effectively and do effective childcare at the same time. Your attention is divided and both are going to suffer. Can you get someone to come in and watch your daughter (and help guide her in the cleaning-up-arter-yourself effort)? Otherwise, the only focussed work time you've got is during her nap. Even a junior-high student coming in after school, which should be cheaper than regular daycare or nanny, could give you four hours a day to work undistracted.

I agree... can you get a part time nanny/babysitter and/or a maid that comes in once a week (of course this wouldn't help with toys)?