Question for the men

[Audiomechanic]

Women: you have sexual body parts that should be covered. When you show them "just a little" it's like putting a man into a room with a large red button that says "DO NOT PUSH!" Sounds childlike, but we look. It's what we do. If you don't want us looking, don't give us something to look at.

I am tired of all these girls saying that their tired of being treated like objects when they walk around in little more the a bikini (and I doubt they do it for comfort). Stupid double standards. Girls walk around with their goods all hanging out and then get mad at men when they stare. Moronic in my opinion.

Sorry for the strong language but I hate double standards.

 

[Alenci]

Me too. I hate double standards.

This is yet another reason why women shouldn't have to cover up their bodies while men are free to dream about having their way.

(And speaking of that, sheesh girls, wear some more clothes.)

 

[JoshuaWorth]

Me too. I hate double standards.

This is yet another reason why women shouldn't have to cover up their bodies while men are free to dream about having their way.

(And speaking of that, sheesh girls, wear some more clothes.)

Yeah Girls wear more cloths please?????"?

 

[Sketcher]

Yeah Girls wear more cloths please?????"?

Yeah, we can bounce our eyes, but from flesh . . . to more flesh?

 

[Vedant]

Do you feel that it is acceptable as a Christian man to be looking at a woman's bosom? Would you look at your sister that way? I mean...women are sisters in Christ.

Yes!

 

[Vedant]

I am slightly disappointed how both posters to this thread have winked and used silly faces as if it's only natural and not a product of lust. Would you agree that this is taking the issue too lightly? How do you think your sisters in Christ feel when you look at us? (Answer: Ashamed)

You should feel flattered. Men think about sex all the time, but that doesn't mean we go around lusting all the time. There is a difference. It's one thing to look at girls, and it's another thing to think sexual thoughts about them. Lust is an act of the mind more than an act of looking at beautiful people. Lust is adultery, but looking at girls is not lust.

They way people sometimes define lust to be simply looking at the opposite sex is like defining hugging your girlfriend as sexual intercourse. This makes no sense to me, but to each his or her own, I suppose. If you don't want to feel beautiful, that's fine with me. Honestly, you shouldn't feel ashamed that guys like girls in different ways that girls like guys.

 

[Vedant]

There is a good book out, Every Man's Battle, that does talk about being able to "bounce the eyes" so that one does not lust. Now, I know the line is thin, so each person needs to draw that line themselves. However, looking at a woman as an object is disrespectful. There are many men who choose not to look at women in a wrongful manner. Do they still find the girl attractive? Yes. But they don't focus on certain parts of a woman.

Heh. I'm a total feminist in this respect of not objectifying women. I really do respect your gender. Girls drive me bonkers, what can I say? Physical attraction is the first thing that happens between ANYONE, because even if you start talking to someone, your subconcious mind looks at them and analyzes them. Although, meeting people over instant messenger might be a caveat against this, I still stress that physical attraction is the first form of communication, and a good form of communication.

 

[Vedant]

Me too. I hate double standards.

This is yet another reason why women shouldn't have to cover up their bodies while men are free to dream about having their way.

(And speaking of that, sheesh girls, wear some more clothes.)

You speak as if girls don't dream either. That's a HUGE generalization.

 

[Vedant]

I would like to see more posts in this thread:

http://www.christianforums.com/t2565745-first-thing->-opposite-sex.html

Thanks!

 

[_sunshinegirl]

I’m not a guy, but I can answer this question being a straight girl.. YES!!

If someone were wearing bright blue eye shadow would your attention not go to their eyes? What about purple lipstick? Or yellow and orange tights? If someone is wearing/doing something to show something off/draw attention then most time it works.

I do not believe this makes the person any less because of this, just observant and human. That is why we are told not to wear provocative clothing, so that we do not tempt others. If anything the person who wears the clothes should be ‘at fault’.

Now of course this is just the beginning. There are various ways that yes this could become extremely inappropriate ie starring for a significant amt of time (would be one) but to get angry or jealous or think further into it just for a glance I would say no.

 

[Vedant]

So what do women think about this?

http://www.wholesomewear.com/

~Vedant

 

[Vedant]

I’m not a guy, but I can answer this question being a straight girl.. YES!!

If someone were wearing bright blue eye shadow would your attention not go to their eyes? What about purple lipstick? Or yellow and orange tights? If someone is wearing/doing something to show something off/draw attention then most time it works.

I do not believe this makes the person any less because of this, just observant and human. That is why we are told not to wear provocative clothing, so that we do not tempt others. If anything the person who wears the clothes should be ‘at fault’.

Now of course this is just the beginning. There are various ways that yes this could become extremely inappropriate ie starring for a significant amt of time (would be one) but to get angry or jealous or think further into it just for a glance I would say no.

I would like to point out that many of these standards for decency are completely relative and subjective to cultural standards and not Biblical standards. In other Christian cultures in the world, breasts are viewed more as feeding organs than sexual ones. In other Christian cultures in the world, kissing in public is as obscene as pornography is in the united states.

 

[~Beauty_from_Pain~]

It is OK to sexually desire someone of the opposite sex you are not married to. Masturbatory fantasies are also OK provided they do not involve rape or other inherently immoral sexual practices. If you're wondering, sexual fantasy is not what Jesus meant by "lust". What Jesus said was "lust after" (or, by another translation "lustful intent") - meaning an intention or PLAN to have sex with a woman in an inappropriate context. A sexual fantasy is not an intention or plan, so it is fair game. And that's proper theology.

This is totally not true. Jesus says to flee these things and to be satisfied with your wife.

 

[~Beauty_from_Pain~]

This is the mentality I so despise within the church: to even look at a girl in a sexual manner is considered an evil. This view is completely unbiblical and would have the entire world castrated to prevent the enjoyment of sexuality and sexual thoughts. I say again, if no one thought sexual thoughts about anyone and took no interest in sexual parts of the body, the entire world population would come to a hault: there would be no interest in marriage since the sexual side of all relationships simply would not exist. Soon thereafter, the entire human race would perish due to no reproductivity.



With all due respect, can you please provide scripture references in support of this claim? Never did Jesus say to people "Never, ever think of sex and never desire it under any circumstance except marriage" (of course, the same problem arises: why get married if you have no sexual interest in the other person?).



Not according to scripture. "Lust" is desiring something more than you should and need not apply only to sexual desires. Further still, if your definition here is true, then every husband sins whenever he wants to sleep with his wife. What's more is that a person cannot even date with the intention to get married, since married people sleep together and dating is a means to that end. You have successfully turned the whole world into asexual beings and that, my dear sister, is a very horrifying thought.



If this is so, then would you please explain why he would want to marry you at all? I mean, if he cannot think of you in a sexual manner, he cannot thus desire you sexually. If he does not desire you sexually, where lies the motivation to get married? There would be no sexual interest and thus no motivation to move beyond mere friendship.

I find it interesting that no one has responded to this problem...

Here are some scripture:

For everything in the world—the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does—comes not from the Father but from the world. (1 John 2:16)

You will have these tassels to look at and so you will remember all the commands of the LORD, that you may obey them and not prostitute yourselves by going after the lusts of your own hearts and eyes. (Numbers 15:39

I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a girl. (Job 31:1)

Do not lust in your heart after her beauty or let her captivate you with her eyes (Proverbs 6:25).

But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. (Matthew 5:28).

 

[~Beauty_from_Pain~]

And what it seems guys are saying here...a few of you anyway is that you won't stop looking until all the women in the world wear sweaters. etc...and that doesn't even work all the time...not everyone is a Christian, so not every woman is going to dress appropiatly. However, even if one does not, does that mean that men are "off the hook." ? That they can do it not because of this? So, if women wear skanky clothing (even though I don't think that is right) then she is asking to be raped? What happened to men following after God's truth?

 

[intricatic]

And what it seems guys are saying here...a few of you anyway is that you won't stop looking until all the women in the world wear sweaters. etc...and that doesn't even work all the time...not everyone is a Christian, so not every woman is going to dress appropiatly. However, even if one does not, does that mean that men are "off the hook." ? That they can do it not because of this? So, if women wear skanky clothing (even though I don't think that is right) then she is asking to be raped? What happened to men following after God's truth?

Whatmost of the guys are saying is that it's not a lustful thing. When I look at women, most of the time it's not in a sexual way, even if it's to an *ahem* area that the girl wants attention to be drawn to. It's impossible to avoid unless I were to start wearing a blindfold, and until every guy is wandering around blindfolded, I doubt there will be much in the way of change to the situation.

 

[Vedant]

And what it seems guys are saying here...a few of you anyway is that you won't stop looking until all the women in the world wear sweaters. etc...and that doesn't even work all the time...not everyone is a Christian, so not every woman is going to dress appropiatly. However, even if one does not, does that mean that men are "off the hook." ? That they can do it not because of this? So, if women wear skanky clothing (even though I don't think that is right) then she is asking to be raped? What happened to men following after God's truth?

I feel you really don't understand men, even though it looks like you're in a happy relationship. Here are some of our secrets:

1) We think about sex, a lot, but we also think about many other things. Just like women, we're not just going to jump at every opportunity of sex if it's there.

2) Without going into detail, there is a physiological difference between being turned on and not. I find it amusing when women seem to think they know for men what lust is and isn't when guys are built with extremely reliable barometers.

3) We want love just as much as women do. We want to love, to be loved, and be in a loving relationship.

 

[doctorluke]

I would like to point out that many of these standards for decency are completely relative and subjective to cultural standards and not Biblical standards. In other Christian cultures in the world, breasts are viewed more as feeding organs than sexual ones. In other Christian cultures in the world, kissing in public is as obscene as pornography is in the united states.

Which has nothing to do with your culture does it. I would like to point out that cultures that have a Christian heritage do not have very different standards on sexuality. Cultures which allow women to go topless, are not Biblically based. Oh, there may be Christianity in the society, but it is only coming into the society, not forming the basis of that society/culture as yet. which cultures have had Christianity as a major influence for at least half a millenium at the moment? I guarantee that there are few which will have a very liberal view on clothing? Im open to argument.

 

[superfly]

the "men" in this thread disgust me! they make me ashamed to be male! you should all be ashamed of yourselves! thinking sexual thoughts about a woman whom you are not married to is lust! looking at her bosom or her bum is not far from that either... sure, women shouldn't be wearing clothing like that, but we do live in a sinful and fallen world. HOWEVER, THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE!

i am completely ashamed to be associated with the males in this thread, just by virtue of the fact that i too am male.

do you guys go to wack churches? do you not read scripture for what it is???

it is NOT right to look at a woman and think sexual thoughts, that is lust!
being attracted to a woman DOES NOT mean that i have think about her sexually!
and sexual fantasies are SIN!

in our church we do not skirt around sex. but we do treat it with the proper respect that a gift from God deserves.

want me to back up what i'm saying? let's look at some scripture:

Job 31:1:
"I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a girl."

Matthew 5:28:
"But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart."

Proverbs 6:25:
"Do not lust in your heart after her beauty or let her captivate you with her eyes"

come on guys, that can't be more clear, especially the section from proverbs. the verses from proverbs don't even mention sexual lust, they just talk about looking at a woman's beauty! lust is wanting something you don't have.

go read the bible! and take off those spectacles of sin first and ask the Lord to show you what He has said through His eyes, not yours! you make the bible say what YOU WANT, not what it actually says... you know how to interpret it, it just doesn't fit with our sinful desires!

let me leave you with one last verse, Proverbs 12:15:
"The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice."

 

[intricatic]

the "men" in this thread disgust me! they make me ashamed to be male! you should all be ashamed of yourselves! thinking sexual thoughts about a woman whom you are not married to is lust! looking at her bosom or her bum is not far from that either... sure, women shouldn't be wearing clothing like that, but we do live in a sinful and fallen world. HOWEVER, THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE!

i am completely ashamed to be associated with the males in this thread, just by virtue of the fact that i too am male.

do you guys go to wack churches? do you not read scripture for what it is???

it is NOT right to look at a woman and think sexual thoughts, that is lust!
being attracted to a woman DOES NOT mean that i have think about her sexually!
and sexual fantasies are SIN!

in our church we do not skirt around sex. but we do treat it with the proper respect that a gift from God deserves.

want me to back up what i'm saying? let's look at some scripture:

Job 31:1:
"I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a girl."

Matthew 5:28:
"But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart."

Proverbs 6:25:
"Do not lust in your heart after her beauty or let her captivate you with her eyes"

come on guys, that can't be more clear, especially the section from proverbs. the verses from proverbs don't even mention sexual lust, they just talk about looking at a woman's beauty! lust is wanting something you don't have.

go read the bible! and take off those spectacles of sin first and ask the Lord to show you what He has said through His eyes, not yours! you make the bible say what YOU WANT, not what it actually says... you know how to interpret it, it just doesn't fit with our sinful desires!

let me leave you with one last verse, Proverbs 12:15:
"The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice."

Hello! I live in a world where looking at women and noticing that they are attractive is not the same thing as lust, and is something that is unavoidable unless I am to lock myself in my basement and never leave it. But I guess according to you and some of the women on this thread, I am condemned to hell for that. Oh my, what am I to do. Step down from your steeple for one second and kill that spiritual pride because it's unbecoming of a Christian.