Question for men, please, feedback requested

[cruztacean]

Warning: I have been at several websites asking men in general this question. I don't know why, but no man seems to want to touch it. However, I need to know, so even though the complete lack of response so far is hurting me, I'm still trying.

So, gentlemen,

If you cry in front of your special lady, would you rather she:

1.) Ignore it/pretend she doesn't see it?
2.) Cuddle, comfort, and fuss over you?
3.) Something else?

Your age group would be helpful, 20's, 30's or whatever, as I'd like to see if there is any connection to between a man's age and how he answers the question.

And while we're at it, can someone PLEASE tell me why men haven't wanted to answer this question so far? It's getting so frustrating I'm honest-to-goodness on the verge of crying myself.

Thank you very much for your help.

 

[cruztacean]

I see no one here is answering the question either. Can someone tell me why? I'm really quite dense and need the explanation.

 

[Leader of the Banned]

And while we're at it, can someone PLEASE tell me why men haven't wanted to answer this question so far?

cuz we're taught to be "real men" which means we're not allowed to cry in public. This thread may do a little better in a different forum, such as Christian Advice or somewhere.

 

[cruztacean]

Should I just re-post it there, or is there a way to move it?

Thank you, LOTB, for your help.

 

[Leader of the Banned]

You can ask a mod to move it, or just repost it.

 

[Gnasher]

Warning: I have been at several websites asking men in general this question. I don't know why, but no man seems to want to touch it. However, I need to know, so even though the complete lack of response so far is hurting me, I'm still trying.

So, gentlemen,

If you cry in front of your special lady, would you rather she:

1.) Ignore it/pretend she doesn't see it?
2.) Cuddle, comfort, and fuss over you?
3.) Something else?

Your age group would be helpful, 20's, 30's or whatever, as I'd like to see if there is any connection to between a man's age and how he answers the question.

And while we're at it, can someone PLEASE tell me why men haven't wanted to answer this question so far? It's getting so frustrating I'm honest-to-goodness on the verge of crying myself.

Thank you very much for your help.

It depends on what the man is crying about...

If it's personally - give him a hug
If it's happiness - hold his hand
If he is just a sop - ignore and walk away...

 

[SumTinWong]

Warning: I have been at several websites asking men in general this question. I don't know why, but no man seems to want to touch it. However, I need to know, so even though the complete lack of response so far is hurting me, I'm still trying.

So, gentlemen,

If you cry in front of your special lady, would you rather she:

1.) Ignore it/pretend she doesn't see it?
2.) Cuddle, comfort, and fuss over you?
3.) Something else?

Your age group would be helpful, 20's, 30's or whatever, as I'd like to see if there is any connection to between a man's age and how he answers the question.

And while we're at it, can someone PLEASE tell me why men haven't wanted to answer this question so far? It's getting so frustrating I'm honest-to-goodness on the verge of crying myself.

Thank you very much for your help.

"If you cry in front of your special lady, would you rather she:"
I would rather she just put her arm around me and listen.

 

[wonderwaleye]

Dear Cruztacean

I would hope she would have understanding and compassion.


LOVE GOES A LONG WAYS!!!


We do have to understand that cries can mean different things and it would not be fair for anyone to answer this without knowing the circumstances.


I would certainly hope she would not have a hardened heart.


WE REALLY NEED TO REMEMBER:


“ Believe “ in Greek is a verb and has three components which are: hearing, accepting, and then acting ( COMMITING ) upon that which you have accepted.
X Even though you can't see him, GOD is there!!! O ( click on the x and drag to the O ) ( then see who is with you ) steven

 

[cristianna]

cruztacean... I think LOTB nailed it on the head that "real men" are taught not only to not cry in public, but for some never.

I've seen many a father (to young children and teenagers) tell them to suck it up and not cry if they want to be a "real man". It's actually quite saddening to believe they think they cannot openly express their emotions.

Kudos to the men who have replied to this!

 

[romans324]

I am 28 and have cried to let out saddess or depression. I would never have a problem crying in frount of my wife, I somwetimes even cry at the altar when the church servicing is ending. I would love and have had my wife comfort me and others also. Men should let out the saddeness in them or it will come out in other ways, ie angrier is the main one.

 

[CyberPaladin]

To be quite honest I have not allowed anyone to see me cry since dislocated my shoulder and I'm ashamed I allowed anyone to see that kind of sign weakness then.

 

[simmeringabsolute]

It a man cries it should be because of something truly terrible or wonderful. If my wife ignored me I would feel insulted that she might be thinking, "I will just not acknowledge this, because real men do not cry for any reason." Comfort to varying degrees would be my preferred response... A genuine hug that displays her understanding would be perfect. If she instead would touch me on my back and ask me if I want to talk about it, well, that would be not so perfect.

 

[Elijah2]

Hey Crutzacean,

I'm 70 and I still cry.

What point are you trying to prove anyway?

Now if he cries in front of his special lady, then he is doing two things: trying get sympathy, or he feels guilty, or he has a real problem.

Now does that special lady upset this man to cause him to become emotional?

So what do you do?

Cuddle him if he has a real problem. But, he is asking for sympathy, then ask him what is his problem?

Heavens my dear, I'm an old soldier and old soldiers never cry. But, I do when something is happening on TV or in a movie, or when I see something that might jog my memory. I'm a softy, so maybe your man is a softy.

Now you have to explain the circumtances to really give a good in depth answer to your questions.

Love in Christ

Most men do cry, but not often in public, because you grow up being a man.

Now these days, there appear to be more wimps around than real men. So maybe the men of today cry more often in public, than the men of old.

Normally, I find them like that when they are blind drunk.

So, who are you referring Christian men or worldly men?

I cry in church when the Holy Spirit touches me. Now that's in public. But, not emotionally.

I've had many cry during healing and deliverance.

 

[cruztacean]

I wasn't talking about any particular man.

I asked this question because I wanted to examine my own behavior, not to "prove a point." I'm beginning to it's Attack Cruz Day.

Edit, after a few minutes to draw some deep breaths, to explain why I just said that.

On my other advice thread, I got attacked and judged for being divorced. Now, one of you has PM'd me again just to inform me that you had posted to this thread, and that I was trying to prove something simply by asking a question for my own education. The same person PM'd me off the divorce thread to tell me how out of God's will I was. I have added that person, first ever, to my ignore list and would like to request he no longer PM me. Thank you.

 

[Leader of the Banned]

how out of God's will I was.

1 Corinthians 7:15 But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.

1 Timothy 5:8 But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.

I don't know the details of your divorce, but it's a crying shame that "christians" butcher the word of God and condemn others, and for what?

 

[Leader of the Banned]

To be quite honest I have not allowed anyone to see me cry since dislocated my shoulder and I'm ashamed I allowed anyone to see that kind of sign weakness then.

a dislocated shoulder? I know women who have given birth and popped their shoulder, the pain of the shoulder is worse. Sometimes, you can't help it.

 

[cruztacean]

Thank you, LOTB. And by the way, that's the same verse I quoted on the other thread. You helped a lot.

I want to point out that I think it takes a far braver man to cry than to be afraid someone's going to call him a chicken...oops, sorry LOTB, no refrence to your costume intended. It's the ones who are too afraid to show their emotions who are the wimps, in my opinion.

I just wanted to know how it would be appropriate for a lady to react in that case, because it occured to me that some men don't like to be mothered. I wanted to test my newly formed theory, and see if age and/or generation made a difference in the man's way of thinking. Nothing to "prove" here. Just trying to learn.

 

[fenderbender]

Well, I think it depends entirely on where the guy is at in his own maturity, as well as the circumstances. IMHO, mature men will cry when genuinely overwhelmed by any emotion, immature ones will either choke it down until they're hid away somewhere, or blubber themselves silly at every little emotion that pops up.

As far as the significant other's role, it very much depends on your old man's maturity/insecurity level. I don't think it's a good idea to "mother" any adult. I see it as detrimental to him growing up. But heart felt crying from a mature man needs to be shared. Cry along with him while touching him if you feel genuinely moved (even if you don't quite understand why he's crying), or just be there with him to pick up the pieces and talk when he settles down. Try not to panic and interupt if he doesn't want to talk while he's crying.

Hope this helps.

 

[Leader of the Banned]

It's the ones who are too afraid to show their emotions who are the wimps, in my opinion.

you're all heart...

 

[Johnnz]

I was too self controlled for many years, a product of society and family.

I have learned to show emotions, and I can cry when I am deeply pained over something. Sometimes we hug, as we usually have both been involved (a death, son going overseas, etc). Sometimes I have wanted just to be on my own.

Painful experiences have made me far more sensitive than I was, which is a good thing in many ways. Unlearning the past has been part of my personal development, and Ican feel more deeply for suffering people than I was did.

John
NZ