Question For Cutters

[abbygirlforever]

I have a question for people who cut/self-harm. Do you often fluctuate between feeling happy/positive/fine and down/depressed/hurting? I can be perfectly fine, even happy, one moment, and the next I feel like I got kicked in the stomach. Sometimes there's no aparant reason for why I feel so down, and other times there is. I can have a great day, but by the time I go to bed I feel like cutting, and I'm not sure why.

Anybody else have this happen?

 

[guitar_gurl07]

Hey abbygirl forever, yes i have the problem all the time...and i do cut myself a lot more often that i would like 2 :/ but anyways, are you seeing a therapist/counselor or something like that bc i am bi polar, so thats y i have the mood problem...r u on any medications? that helps a lot also..im on lexapro right now...well if u ever need someone to talk to, im here just pm me..

~hAyLeE

 

[scruffy]

Hey

I agree I am the same with my emotions. Like last week I was pretty much feeling fine but then on Friday and Saturday I felt really down and depressed and wanted to cut.

However, when you do feel fine, is the thought of cutting always in the back of your mind? Coz it seems to be always in the back of my mind.

Keep going girl.

scruffy

 

[katylees]

hmmm ys i get that ...i had a really good day yesterday ..wen i went to bed i sitll wanted to ..but i didnt ..i dont like doin it im not sure why it happens either *hugs*

 

[abbygirlforever]

Yes, even when I'm happy or doing OK, cutting is always in the back of my mind. As of now I have never been to a counselor or on any medications. I'm not really "out" about cutting, at least not beyond a few people IRL. I've told two of my friends and my pastor about it. I was pressured by one friend to tell my pastor, and I wish I hadn't. He was one of the people who gave me a lecture on it. I no longer attend that church (not for that reason, I moved). I don't get a chance to see my one friend much anymore (the one who pressured me to tell my pastor). He doesn't really understand why I cut, but out of the three I told he's the best one to talk to about it. My other friend sorta laughed when I told her, not because she found it funny but because that's what she does when she's uncomfortable about a situation. We've never talked about it since.

My mom saw the slashes on my wrists once and thought I tried to kill myself. She blamed herself for it, when it wasn't her fault at all. I don't know why, but I never tried to correct her about it. I guess I thought if I never mentioned it again it would all just go away.

 

[sparrow]

Yes it's the same for me too although I have been doing better recently. I would often feel fine one day, then absolutely terrible and worthless the next, and that would prompt the cutting. It's a strange, messy, nasty cycle. I feel for you. :hugs:

 

[Godlovesusall]

Yup, I feel that way all the time, and have for a long time. I am now seeking help for it, but it is still really crazy, like right now as I am typing this I have a really crazy urge to cut, and I have no reason to be depressed feeling, yet I am. But yesterday, and pretty much all week I was pretty good! Here is an idea for you, this may help stop the cutting for a while if you want to stop, or if you think you are ready to stop, you should wash your knife in rubbing alcohol (or any kind or hard stuff will do too, exe: Whisky), then wash your location of cutting with alcohol after washing it with soap and warm water. It is a long proccess and may ease the urge a bit, (this wasn't my idea, it was from someone else, but it still may be useful). Good luck. Take care! God Bless.

Your Sis in Christ,
D.

 

[~I Love God~]

abbygirlforeverI have a question for people who cut/self-harm. Do you often fluctuate between feeling happy/positive/fine and down/depressed/hurting? I can be perfectly fine, even happy, one moment, and the next I feel like I got kicked in the stomach. Sometimes there's no aparant reason for why I feel so down, and other times there is. I can have a great day, but by the time I go to bed I feel like cutting, and I'm not sure why.

Anybody else have this happen?

Yes, I do have feelings like that. Every night I would just lay in my bed and I would just start hatting myself for my mistakes and what happened during the day. I would always have either a knife or a razor blade under neath my pillow.​

But I'm doing better now, and I don't have to suffer all of that pain. I have God, and I can just give it to God and he will take care of it. ​

 

[TheMainException]

Yup, I've felt this many times. What I suggest is that you check out your thoughts whenever you start to feel bad and down. And reverse them...here are some good sites that have helped me...Mood gym will be extremely helpful in analyzing your thoughts when you start to feel bad.
http://moodgym.anu.edu.au/mod1_p03.asp
http://www.selfinjury.com/
http://www.geocities.com/captiveinmind/crisissurvivalskills.html

I hope this is some help for you...remember, no matter what you do, God loves you not because you are as you should be, because no one is as they should be.

 

[j_e_s_s_i_e]

hugs
i went through the cutting, i don't know how i got over it. i started talking 2 a couple counsellors at school and to my doctor. i went on antidepressants, and that part of things just kind of went away with time. yes i felt the exact same way i would feel absolutely great and happy...like i was on top of the world one day, then the next i was down in the dumps. cutting myself made me feel better, the pain of it made me forget everything going on around me. but just stick in there it will all go away. just find someone you can talk 2, someone who understands and that will listen to you. wether it be a counsellor of some sort, a family member or a friend. it will help a lot, pm me if you want to talk. im here

 

[StillxHere]

I feel pratically the same way. I'm thinking that I may just have some deeper disorder though. The environment around you can affect you. While I'm at school, I rarely feel like cutting because I'm busy, with my friends, and actually happy. But at home I'm more alone and have time to think, regret, and hurt. So I think that may be why I change so quickly but I rarely have one day where I only have one feeling. Plus, cutting is just plain addicting so even if you really are on top of the world you might still want to do it.

 

[Gwendolen]

I also feel great sometimes and depressed at other times. I remember a few years ago I read a book about different personalities and that was a characteristic of a melancholy personality. But then I wasn't yet cutting. I remember that it was nice to know that I wasn't alone in feeling like that.

 

[~*Hope*~]

yep... thats me alright. but other times something triggers it. rawr. cutting sucks.

 

[abbygirlforever]

Thanks everyone for all your answers. I now know it's not just me.

 

[ajuran]

i wasn´t really into cutting - but i did it several times. they are times when i have at least one day a week where i feel depressed. and then i cut myself or smoke or do whatsoever. this year i have been in south africa to work as a missionary. i didn´t have much prayer support, so i felt attacked the whole time and went into a depression. i also had something with a guy going on, and made a lot of mistakes. in the end of it, i told everything my leader and they said i had to go back home.

that time was one of the hardest times so far, but i decided not to cut, to smoke or to hurt me - but just crying out to god for help. and he really helped me. it was hard not to search release in anything else, and the pain was sometimes so deep that i just cried for hours. but jesus really helped me and now i´m over all this stuff. i know i should seek counseling still, but i made bad experiences on it some years ago, so i don´t want to open myself again to anyone.

 

[ninetails390]

I felt like that over the summer...but now I feel a lot better. But, yeah, I know how you feel.

 

[catgarden]

Abby i used to cut, but it'll be nothing if your moods are flippy

 

[Stars_Fire_17]

I go from being extreamly happy to depressed in no time flat. Its strange. Actually I haven't cut in 4 months...5 months on saturday! *Jumps up and down and claps* But lately things have gotten to me and I think that if I wouldn't have had someone to talk to or take away my sharp objects I would have broken all of that. Its a struggle.

The thing thats hard to think about is that its a strong possiblity that you will have to deal with this for the rest of your life...now thats being very negative but realistic. The trick is finding a better way to deal with problems and learning to get your feelings out.

Thanks for listening to my ramble...I hope I didn't bore anyone.

 

[davenporter]

I go from being extreamly happy to depressed in no time flat. Its strange. Actually I haven't cut in 4 months...5 months on saturday! *Jumps up and down and claps* But lately things have gotten to me and I think that if I wouldn't have had someone to talk to or take away my sharp objects I would have broken all of that. Its a struggle.

The thing thats hard to think about is that its a strong possiblity that you will have to deal with this for the rest of your life...now thats being very negative but realistic. The trick is finding a better way to deal with problems and learning to get your feelings out.

Thanks for listening to my ramble...I hope I didn't bore anyone.

yeah i dont have anyone to talk to im just starting i havent cut deep yet not more than a drop fo blood yet but it gets deeper everyday

 

[Crazy_nut_4_Jesus]

meh. sure...

everyone's different....