Question, am I in the wrong? How do I stop this?

[Just_Wondering]

First time ever posting on this page!

God bless!

 

[Soyeong]

Hello! First time posting on this platform.

I’ve been wondering for a long time now, but haven’t asked anyone this personally; is it wrong to daydream about my future boyfriend/husband?
I daydream a lot about going on dates, getting married- that sort of stuff. I don’t try to think about sexual, lustful thoughts because that’s wrong and I don’t want to upset God with my sin.
I know I might sound- kind of paranoid- it’s just that two years ago, I learned almost all secular music is evil and now, I’ve been trying to cut out stuff that isn’t right for my relationship with Christ. (Can’t tell you how many songs I’ve deleted off my phone, how many games I’ve stopped playing or the books I’ve thrown away in the last two years. Feels good though ) I don’t want to be upsetting God, so if you have any advice about this or how to stop, I’d be thankful!
God bless and thank you for reading.

Hello and welcome,

I know of a number of people who pray for their future spouse and your time might be better spent doing that instead of daydreaming. Furthermore, by daydreaming about your future boyfriend/husband, you might be placing unrealistic expectations on him that would be difficult for any man to live up to that might set you up for disappointment. It is better if you don't get to decide by yourself what to expect of him, but that you negotiate things that are important to you for him to do and then only hold the expectations that he gives you permission to have, and vice versa. That way, if you expect him to do something other than what he gave you permission to expect, and he doesn't do that, then you can recognize what you are doing and not get upset over it. Then you can try to renegotiate if need be, or if he is neglecting to do something that he gave you permission to expect, then you can can sit down and discuss it instead of getting upset, and vice versa. Having good communication about expectations is important.

 

[Just_Wondering]

Oh hey! Thanks so much!

I would not want to have these high expectations that aren’t realistic because that’s unfair.

I get it now- :/ it’s like how my family is planning a trip to Colorado and I’m already expecting things that might not even happen!
Thank you so much! Really, thank you! God bless