question about SI

[bassdrum1]

i have to do a project for english and i choose to research about self injury.i, being a cutter myself, don't think there is enough awarness out there and i figured since i wanted to get the word out why not do it now. i was wondering if any of u guys had any advice or stories about what happened or anything u would like to tell ppl out there. they won't know who u r and i'll try my best to post the paper on here as soon as i finish it.

 

[BlackRain]

it's just like being addicted to any drug/alcohol. it's more common than they think and it's becoming more of a problem. we're not weird people, we just have trouble controlling emotions.

 

[Renwolf]

Hi, that's awesome that you're going to do a paper on SI. I have a lot to say on the subject, but I'm not sure what kind of information you need. Maybe you could make a questionairre and post a list of questions for people to answer. That might make it easier for you to get the info you need.

In a nutshell, what I want people to know about self injury is (and this is in no particular order):

SI is not a stage or a phase or anything that can be grown out of. It is not something that will go away if ignored. It is not a recent phenomena and it is not limited to adolescent girls.

Keep things in perspective. Self inflicted injuries are very rarely life threatening. If someone you know is SI-ing, before involving doctors and trips to the ER, try to think about how you would react if the injury were an accident. Wash it, bandage it and don't dwell on the physical injury (unless it truly does require being treated by a doctor). Other coping mechanisms like smoking, drinking, doing drugs, overeating, undereating, and being sexually promiscuous are much more harmful physically. Overreacting will only make the situation worse.

No body searches for new injuries. No confiscating the sharps. Self injury is very much about control, and anything that is done to make the SI-er feel less in control will only make the self injury worse. Don't expect immediate results. Recovery takes time and relapses are part of recovery.

SI does not = suicide. SI is kind of like the anti-suicide. People attempt suicide because they want to die. People SI because they're trying to survive.

Medical professionals - learn about this disorder. It's not going to go away any time soon, so you might as well start learning how to deal with it. Tip: making the self injurer feel worse doesn't help. Work on getting self injury listed in the medical textbooks as a disorder in its own right. Right now, it only exists as a symptom of another disorder which means that treating it is extremely difficult. You can't treat what you don't acknowledge.

I have stories, too. College roommates moving out because they were scared of me (I'm nice and "normal" looking and very not scary, I promise). Almost getting kicked out of the dorm when the Resident Assistant found out. Forced to talk to therapist who told me that I could be institutionalized for what I was doing (there's incentive to recover in a hurry.) Spending 10 hours in the ER because I was stupid enough to not want another big scar and almost getting hospitalized for my trouble.

I have good stories, too. Therapists who have helped. Friends who were understanding and stuck with me. Parents who didn't panic when they found out. Parents who went to great lengths to learn everything they could and who were and still are endlessly supportive.

 

[Shyelah]

it's just like being addicted to any drug/alcohol. it's more common than they think and it's becoming more of a problem. we're not weird people, we just have trouble controlling emotions.

Nicely put!

 

[SimplyUnique]

I thought that I was strong enough not to get addicted. But now I realized I am...I don't do it as often as most people, but sometimes I'll find myself wanting to hurt myself. Even though I've sworn to people that I've stopped and won't do it again...i've done it twice since then. It's really adictive...don't do it

 

[bassdrum1]

o.k. so this is what i'm gonna say monday. tell me what you think. i tried putting in what you guys wanted to say too. sry if i didn't.

THE TRUTH BEHIND SI
By Deeply Wounded {psydenom. what do you think?lol. }

What is this disease that causes 2-3 million Americans to suffer greatly? The answer to this is SI {self-injury} or now know as self-mutilation. Why do so many suffer? What is the cause for this? What can we do to decrease the numbers?

1st, you must look at the definition for SI. In lemans term it is the “practice of deliberately cutting, burning, or doing anything that causes harm to your body.” Why would someone do such a horrible act? Sometimes it is because the pain is too great to handle. Sometimes they do it cause they feel unloved. Which brings me to my next point.

What is the cause for SI? There are so many reasons that no one, not even the SI-ers, can explain. A more common answer, however, would be emotional trouble. They do not know how to explain what is going on so the easiest way out is to hurt them. The most common form is cutting. Doing this however, can become an addiction. While it may have started off as an emotional problem, it becomes something they depend on, even after they quit.

Now to my last and most important point. What you can do as a society to decrease the numbers. Being an SI-er myself, it is very hard for us to tell people what we have done. You need to be acceptant. Just because we SI does not mean we are freaks. We just do not know how to handle emotions well. 2nd, DO NOT overreact. SI is rarely life threatening and we rarely think about suicide. We do this to survive, not to die. Overreacting just makes the situation worse, not better. 3rd, be aware. This is not a stage that can be grown out of easily. We WILL NOT be healed overnight. It takes time for us to recover. You need to be prepared for relapses. These are likely to happen. However, this is how we heal.

SI is a more common problem than everyone wants to believe. You may not know this because we keep it a secret. Most, like me, are scared to tell because we are looked down upon just because we cut, burn ourselves, or do anything like that. Instead of looking down upon us, look at us with love. We need to hear that on a normal basis. Also, tell us you are glad we are alive. It makes it hard for us to do it the next time,

So what can you do as a society? Super chick puts it very clearly in one of their songs. “ Little Mickey D was the one in class who everyday got totally harassed. This went on for years until he decided that never again would he shed another tear. So he walked through the door grabbed a 4.4. Out of his fathers dresser draw and said I can’t take life no more and like that a life could be lost. But this isn’t even about that. All of us just sat back and watched it happen thinking it’s not our responsibility to solve a problem that isn’t about me. This is our problem. This is just one of the daily sceneries in which we choose to cause a riot instead of doing the right thing. If we make a choice be the voice for those who won’t speak up for themselves. How many lives would be saved, changed, rearranged now it’s our time to pick a side. So don’t you keep walking by cause you just want to exist and never be seen. So lets wake up change the world. Our time is now.”

 

[Renwolf]

Did you give this presentation already? Your report sounds really good, so I hope everything went well. You're way brave for coming out about your SI. Please come back and let us know how it went.

 

[bassdrum1]

well i deffintly handed it in. he said it'll be tommrow or the next day before he returns them. hopefully he'll let us read them. we haven't got to yet.

 

[Renwolf]

Thanks for the update. *fingers crossed for you*

 

[4childofgod]

Hi, that's awesome that you're going to do a paper on SI. I have a lot to say on the subject, but I'm not sure what kind of information you need. Maybe you could make a questionairre and post a list of questions for people to answer. That might make it easier for you to get the info you need.

In a nutshell, what I want people to know about self injury is (and this is in no particular order):

SI is not a stage or a phase or anything that can be grown out of. It is not something that will go away if ignored. It is not a recent phenomena and it is not limited to adolescent girls.

Keep things in perspective. Self inflicted injuries are very rarely life threatening. If someone you know is SI-ing, before involving doctors and trips to the ER, try to think about how you would react if the injury were an accident. Wash it, bandage it and don't dwell on the physical injury (unless it truly does require being treated by a doctor). Other coping mechanisms like smoking, drinking, doing drugs, overeating, undereating, and being sexually promiscuous are much more harmful physically. Overreacting will only make the situation worse.

No body searches for new injuries. No confiscating the sharps. Self injury is very much about control, and anything that is done to make the SI-er feel less in control will only make the self injury worse. Don't expect immediate results. Recovery takes time and relapses are part of recovery.

SI does not = suicide. SI is kind of like the anti-suicide. People attempt suicide because they want to die. People SI because they're trying to survive.

Medical professionals - learn about this disorder. It's not going to go away any time soon, so you might as well start learning how to deal with it. Tip: making the self injurer feel worse doesn't help. Work on getting self injury listed in the medical textbooks as a disorder in its own right. Right now, it only exists as a symptom of another disorder which means that treating it is extremely difficult. You can't treat what you don't acknowledge.

I have stories, too. College roommates moving out because they were scared of me (I'm nice and "normal" looking and very not scary, I promise). Almost getting kicked out of the dorm when the Resident Assistant found out. Forced to talk to therapist who told me that I could be institutionalized for what I was doing (there's incentive to recover in a hurry.) Spending 10 hours in the ER because I was stupid enough to not want another big scar and almost getting hospitalized for my trouble.

I have good stories, too. Therapists who have helped. Friends who were understanding and stuck with me. Parents who didn't panic when they found out. Parents who went to great lengths to learn everything they could and who were and still are endlessly supportive.

Wow your so lucky to have patrental support. My parents know nothing I feel like they would be ashamed. Some people just think you want attention that is why a lot of time we hide it. But my Husband and assistant pastor made a deal if I cut they will take me straight to the hospital! I hate it I feel like everone is watching my every move anyone else feel like that out there.

 

[bassdrum1]

yeah i told one of my friends and she thought i was doing it for attention. or at least it came out that way. hope everything works out for you.

 

[Renwolf]

My parents didn't find out about my self injury until I was in my early-mid 20s. I think they might have reacted a little differently if they'd know about it when I was a kid or a teen. They were concerned when they found out, and confused and everything else, but I guess they figured that I'd managed to survive as long as I had, so I wasn't in any immediate physical danger. It seems like that's what friends and family worry about the most - the physical injuries, when really, in most cases, the physical aspects of self injury are very minor.

It also helped that I went to the secret shame website ( http://www.palace.net/~llama/psych/injury.html ) and printed out as much info as I could and gave that to them. I'm not always good at expressing myself, especially not in stressful situations, so it helped to have something in writing that explained the situation better than I could.

You might want to mention to your husband and pastor that very often self injury is very often a control thing. When a person feels like every aspect of their life is out of their control, self injury is the one thing that they can control. The less control you have, the more likely it is that your self injury is going to get worse. Perhaps you can make a deal with them that they don't need to over react about every little cut, but if something happens and you do injure yourself seriously, you'll tell one of them asap and go for medical treatment. Do your hubby and/or pastor smoke? If so, you might mention that that is a far more harmful addiction, physically speaking. How would they feel if you threatened to take them to the hospital against their will every time they lit a cigarette? I bet it wouldn't make them want to quit - just find better ways of hiding it.

My self injury got much worse in college, especially around the time when my roommate found out, etc. I felt like everyone was making decisions for me without asking me what I thought would help. It was a horrible feeling.

Wow your so lucky to have patrental support. My parents know nothing I feel like they would be ashamed. Some people just think you want attention that is why a lot of time we hide it. But my Husband and assistant pastor made a deal if I cut they will take me straight to the hospital! I hate it I feel like everone is watching my every move anyone else feel like that out there.