Question about relationship with father

[BlackSabb]

Forget it, changed my mind. Regardless of what issues I have with my father, I realise I'm grateful I still have my parents alive.

 

[RebeccatheGreat]

I have to remind myself of this occasionally too.it's ok

 

[BlackSabb]

Thanks for that. I feel bad about complaining about him, especially as so many of my relatives have suffered the loss of their parents and I still have both of mine.

But it's just that since I left home, got married, went to university and started my profession, he's just the type of man never to call me. Or visit me despite the fact that he regularly travels through my area for his business. He never thinks of Christmas gifts despite the fact that I am always buying him a gift when I regularly visit him (at least a couple times a month).

He is however very quick to call me when he needs a days hand for his business. Or something else.

I love my dad dearly, but it's just so one way my relationship with him. And it's depressing. As I say, I visit home no less than twice a month, mostly more. And I go out of my way to drive up there for that purpose. And yet when he is in my area for his business, he doesn't call me for a visit or a quick catch up. Let alone make a special trip to see me. I've just come back from a visit, and he's asked my about 5 things related to his business. This included buying some goods at a paint store (in my area), dropping off some cheques at a couple of stores, making a telephone call for him, arranging a days work for him and unloading a truck and trailer. I bought him a bottle of whisky and shouted him a meal.

It's just painful never getting any visits or calls or gifts. Especially when he's in my area so often. And then I just get angry when he does call me. As I know it's only for business purposes.

But I suppose I'm ungrateful, aren't I?

 

[vigilantsoul]

Your feelings are still valid, and its not always a good thing to deny them. You feel you ought to be greatful, cause you still have parents. Does this mean you should never let your dad know how you feel in a non threatening way. I am sure he would be able to handle it. He may appreciate your thoughts. Good parents or bad parents you will still miss them, they are your parents, so sharing your thougths is not going to discount that.

 

[thriftyEvie]

no matter what they have done or not done, appreciate them while they are here. Once they are gone,that's it

Thanks for that. I feel bad about complaining about him, especially as so many of my relatives have suffered the loss of their parents and I still have both of mine.

But it's just that since I left home, got married, went to university and started my profession, he's just the type of man never to call me. Or visit me despite the fact that he regularly travels through my area for his business. He never thinks of Christmas gifts despite the fact that I am always buying him a gift when I regularly visit him (at least a couple times a month).

He is however very quick to call me when he needs a days hand for his business. Or something else.

I love my dad dearly, but it's just so one way my relationship with him. And it's depressing. As I say, I visit home no less than twice a month, mostly more. And I go out of my way to drive up there for that purpose. And yet when he is in my area for his business, he doesn't call me for a visit or a quick catch up. Let alone make a special trip to see me. I've just come back from a visit, and he's asked my about 5 things related to his business. This included buying some goods at a paint store (in my area), dropping off some cheques at a couple of stores, making a telephone call for him, arranging a days work for him and unloading a truck and trailer. I bought him a bottle of whisky and shouted him a meal.

It's just painful never getting any visits or calls or gifts. Especially when he's in my area so often. And then I just get angry when he does call me. As I know it's only for business purposes.

But I suppose I'm ungrateful, aren't I?

 

[Tangible]

My active, healthy 73 yr old mother had a debilitating stroke last summer. Now she doesn't walk or speak. We love her as she is, but terribly miss her as she was.