Qualification(s) for Dating Someone

[Sascha Fitzpatrick]

When I was considering pursuing my relationship (we had dated before, and stayed friends), these were the things I was looking for:

1) Christian - absolute
2) Growing in Christian walk, prepared to mature in this, taking steps to grow on his own
3) Staying financially stable - was saving, meeting his monthly bills, etc
4) Had cut the strings from family, ex partners, was not dependant on anyone
5) A mature mindset - was growing in character and in Godly behaviours

So long as those things were in place, I decided it was worth pursuing. I had about a year to observe this properly, and once we had our discussion about whether or not to get back together, we took some time to talk about what our concerns were with getting back together, and issues we had with SOME behaviours the other had (ie I had some concerns with his attachment to someone else, he had some concerns about my spending). Once we had those 6 or so months we set aside, we talked again and realised we still loved each other and were ready to pursue each other with intent (marriage)...

Just a few important guidelines up there - I think that so long as growth is being seen in both partners, and they follow the Bible on how to conduct relationships, you're all ready half way there!

Sasch

 

[Living4Him03]

I think there are many things, mainly they need to be ready for marriage in the next few years and have a Godly character and show evidence that they spend time with God daily and are close to Him and put Him first. After that, they need to have dealt with issues from the past (relationships, mistakes, etc.) and they need to be in the process of healing if they aren't already healed. Basically, they need to be responsible enough and have the type of character that understands being selfless, sacrificing, and loving another better than you love yourself. That's soooooo important. You said you know all the qualities a wife needs to have, but do you know what it means to be a Godly man? That's really important!

 

[ardeur]

Now this question scares me a little. The only experience I've had with having a boyfriend was from a friend who I had known for six years, and over about a six month period we decided we wanted to pursue something more (but that quickly ended). It was long-distance, so we didn't even see each other to call anything a "date." Everything we did was with my family and friends. I honestly don't have a clue about the whole Christian dating "scene."

Now recently there is a young Christian man who is very interested in me. His friends are telling me that he is interested and they are talking about us getting together as a couple and dating. I'm really nervous about this because I'm 22 and have never "dated" anyone. I haven't the slightest clue about what to do or what's going to happen. I've NEVER considered myself as someone who'd be "dating" someone (when I was young I was raised to believe in courtship only). My beliefs on courtship have changed since then, but now I don't know what to do. haha...

 

[Sascha Fitzpatrick]

You could read Boundaries in Dating - it has a LOT of great things to say about all kinds of boundaries (not just sexual ones) - just so you're protecting your heart and making sure you aren't letting either of you get away with things that are harmful emotionally, behaviourally, physically, etc...

Should be in any good Christian book shops - it was written by Henry Cloud and John Townsend...

Also, "Define the Relationship" by Jeramy and Jerusha Clark could help you in working out what you actually DESIRE in this relationship

Sasch