Q & A & A & Q & QA & AQ & FAQ & such

[RJB78]

Are you ticklish?

Yes, highly. But be warned... if tickled, I am prepared to respond with extreme ticklebackedness.

Are you afraid of the dark?

Ha... little bit, honestly. I like to set the sleep timer on my TV as I go to sleep... total dark creeps me out a bit.

Do you believe in true love.

Well, I don't really believe that everybody has just One True Love... but I believe that romantic love is real, and that if two people who are good for each other are willing to work at a relationship, then with the grace of God, they can accomplish anything.

Have you ever collected comic books?

Yeah. I still do, actually. X-Men and a little Spider-Man.

What's your favourite eye colour?

Depends on the face they're attached to. I have been predisposed to green eyes in the past, but it's not, like, only green eyes are ever attractive... or that the right face isn't nicer with brown or blue.

Why don't alien eyes have an iris?

Because they grew up too poor to afford them.

Do you kill bugs?

If I can't get anyone else to do it for me...

If I saw a spider and yelped, would you get rid of it for me or yelp, too?

Can I yelp and THEN get rid of it for you? Spiders really frighten me, but I am willing to go on the offensive against them when necessary.

Have you ever slipped out a "LOL" in a real conversation?

Ha! Once or twice I almost did...

Time travel! When are we leaving?

Well, now, that's really quite a relative question with time travel, isn't it...?

And when are we going?

I dunno... want to visit the dinosaurs or maybe just go back a couple of decades and tell ourselves to buy stock in Microsoft?

Who is Dr. Phil?

Touchy-feely TV therapist guy who talks a good deal.

Does he have a similar set-up as Dr. Bobby?

Who's Dr. Bobby? In general, I think, anyone who uses the "Doctor" prefix before a first name probably has issues.

hAvE yOu EvEr TyPeD lIkE tHiS?

i WoOUld NeVR do THat, Nd I m SHocKeD, shOCkEd tHAT yOu WuD MaKE tHe SuGGesTIoN!

Do you ever eat cough drops when you're not sick?

That would be Wrong. In some way I'll think of later.

How are cough drops any different from sweets, really?

Well, other sweets are rarely eucalyptus flavored...

How often do you get bored?

171 times in an average day.

What do you generally do when you're bored?

I go online!

If I crocheted you a red blanket, would you use it for a picnic if I was there?

If you were here to picnic with me, I'd use any blanket you liked.

Would you prepare the food, or would I?

Let's divide up the cooking duties, hmm?

What would be your prefect picnic menu?

Hmm... fried chicken, corn on the cob, pie of some sort? I'm open to suggestions...

Would you bring extra for the squirrels?

And some crusts of bread for the birds!

Have you ever laughed so hard liquid came out of your nose?

No, 'tis a legendary feat I have never personally witnessed. Someday, though...

Have you ever pushed all the buttons on an elevator?

That wouldn't be fair to them. They each have a very specific function, and they get unhappy when they can't fulfill it.

Have you ever eaten sushi?

Precisely once. It was not as yucky as I expected, but it inspired in me no desire to ever do so again.

Who was it that first saw a fish and thought to eat it without marinading or baking it?

The same person who first ate a raw oyster.

Why?

Apparently they were insane.

 

[gee]

What's the naughtiest thing you've ever done?

Do you quickly admit to your mistakes?

Would you ever lie in the snow?

Did you know you shouldn't lie?

What's your favorite news channel?

Do you think you always get the full story?

Are you a good time keeper?

What's the best thing you've done today?

What upsets you the most?

 

[GreenMunchkin]

Is pie the same in American as it is in English?

Why are Americans so keen on this pie?

Where would we go for our picnic?

Do you not remember Dr. Robert Bobby?

Why isn't it possible to run backwards?

If we could run backwards fast enough, could we reverse time?

Have you ever been attacked by seagulls?

Have you ever been wooed by seagulls?

How proficient at flirting are seagulls?

Have you ever fallen out of bed?

Would you sport a man-bag?

Why is opening our eyes underwater so difficult?

Do you like swimming?

Which is better: the sea or a lake?

Do you know who Stephen Fry is?

If your surname had to be some form of food preparation, what would it be?

 

[GreenMunchkin]

Would you rather be a beaver or a turtle?

What's your favourite font?

Do you believe love between humans can be unconditional?

Did you know the little toe is gradually becoming evolutionally obsolete?

What will feet look lie when they only have 4 toes?

Would you get a prosthetic toe?

Have you ever broken a bone?

Why is it impossible to lick your own elbow while strumming a sitar?

Can you do calculus?

On our picnic, would you prefer chocolate cake or apple pie?

Is there such a thing as apple cake?

Is there such a thing as chocolate pie?

If you were up for sale, what would your description be?

Your mum's "emu" idea is inspired. How can we market that so it becomes a global phenomenon so successful it soon blots out the blight that is "emo"?

Guber?

 

[RJB78]

What's the naughtiest thing you've ever done?

I stole a marshmallow pie from my grandmother when I was five years old. Anything after that is classified...

Do you quickly admit to your mistakes?

I save time by assuming everything is my fault to start with! Sorry about Global Warming, by the way...

Would you ever lie in the snow?

I'm not answering this in protest since you already took the best comeback for yourself in the next question.

Did you know you shouldn't lie?

Sure, steal my thunder.

What's your favorite news channel?

MSNBC. Fox is too far right and CNN too far left, in my opinion. Plus I like Chris Matthews.

Do you think you always get the full story?

Doubtful. 'Always' is a word one should always avoid.

Are you a good time keeper?

Sure! I've still got the minute from 8:34-8:35 PM, January 19th 1987 in a box around here somewhere! Original Mint Condition!

What's the best thing you've done today?

I got a haircut! Now if I just shaved I'd be almost presentable...

What upsets you the most?

When the Mets blow a lead in the bottom of the 9th! Arrrrrrrghhhh....

Is pie the same in American as it is in English?

I don't know... what is it in English?

Why are Americans so keen on this pie?

It's got a flaky crust, a tasty fruit or creamy filling... what's not to like?

Where would we go for our picnic?

There's a lake near the place I'm moving... it's gorgeous. I'm sure we could find a suitable spot there. Unless you wanted to take the time machine.

Do you not remember Dr. Robert Bobby?

Argh! Friends ref! I missed that one! In fairness, that's really obscure and you didn't give his full name...

Why isn't it possible to run backwards?

Because you can't see behind you to avoid obstacles; it would be unsafe.

If we could run backwards fast enough, could we reverse time?

No. For that, you have to slingshot around the sun.

Have you ever been attacked by seagulls?

No. Pelicans, a few times. Funny story...

Have you ever been wooed by seagulls?

They only loved me for my stale bread crumbs. *sniffle*...

How proficient at flirting are seagulls?

With other seagulls, I assume, pretty good. But when it comes to mammals, they just got no mojo...

Have you ever fallen out of bed?

It pushed me! I was framed!

Would you sport a man-bag?

Not, but only because it's Not Done. Practically speaking, I don't see any reason we males shouldn't have a nice big bag to carry our stuff in, just like you do...
Why is opening our eyes underwater so difficult?

Do you like swimming?

Yes. I used to have a pool, in my Floridian youth...

Which is better: the sea or a lake?

A lake. There are no sharks in lakes. Ever since I first saw Jaws, I have been incapable of swimming in the ocean.

Do you know who Stephen Fry is?

I know who Phillip J. Fry is. But I suspect Stephen Fry is not related...

If your surname had to be some form of food preparation, what would it be?

Baker. That's funny to me, and you don't get to know why.

Would you rather be a beaver or a turtle?

A turtle. Beavers have to work all day. Turtles can just pull into their shell and... chill.

What's your favourite font?

Courier New.

Do you believe love between humans can be unconditional?

Only God's love is unconditional. But love between humans can be very very strong.

Did you know the little toe is gradually becoming evolutionally obsolete?

How sad for it... I'll have to break it to mine gently...

What will feet look lie when they only have 4 toes?

They'll look like the feet of cartoon characters, who are almost never drawn with the proper number of digits anyway.

Would you get a prosthetic toe?

"Prosthetic Toe" is another great name for a band.

Have you ever broken a bone?

No, and given my low pain threshold, this is undoubtedly for the best.

Why is it impossible to lick your own elbow while strumming a sitar?

Because it's so much more fun to lick your elbow while playing the harp!

Can you do calculus?

No, but I can calculate a pitcher's Earned Run Average. It's practically the same!

On our picnic, would you prefer chocolate cake or apple pie?

Always go for the chocolate.

Is there such a thing as apple cake?

Apple crumb cake, yes.

Is there such a thing as chocolate pie?

There are multiple recipes for chocolate pie, and it's wonderful.

If you were up for sale, what would your description be?

"4 Sayle Cheep! Hardly Ever Used! Must Be Sold As-Is"

Your mum's "emu" idea is inspired. How can we market that so it becomes a global phenomenon so successful it soon blots out the blight that is "emo"?

We should all go around with erasers and erase the tops of the o's wherever we see emo written... it'll be a grass-roots campaign!

Guber?

You mean, like, Gomer Pyle's cousin?

 

[Macrina]

Do you think we should give Greenie an award for asking the most and the funnest questions?

For the most entertaining presidential race, who should each of the two main parties nominate?

If you could pick one celebrity to be president, who would it be?

Who would it definitely NOT be?

Fictional characters -- same two questions.

We've run out of ribbon colors. Does that mean we can't advocate any more causes?

Does your car have any stickers/magnets/etc? If so, what?

 

[GreenMunchkin]

Why does Hawaii have two "i"s?

Why does England have no "i"s?

When you play Pac-Man, do you feel a bit scared when all the chompy things are coming after you?

What song gets most frequently stuck in your head?

Can you drink a gallon of milk in ten seconds?

If you were to join the circus, what would you role be?

Did you know am terrified of clowns?

When did you last eat a gummy worm?

Why do worms become two worms when you cut a worm in half?

What's a "wacky noodle"?

What's a "noodly wack"?

Would you rather have blue or purple skin?

Have you ever unintentionally glued your fingers together?

Have you ever intentionally glued your fingers together?

Can you skip stones?

When I watch my microwave, there's never any pictures. Is it broken?

My tv won't cook my food. Is it broken?

Who's your favourite character from Narnia?

Have you ever checked the back of your wardrobe to see if it takes you to another world?

If it did, would you go?

 

[GreenMunchkin]

I've heard rumour that Earth is round. I laugh in the face of this rumour. What shape is it really?

Can you provide conclusive proof?

Do you like snow-globes?

What is this duck-tape?

Did you know Mac posted a picture of a green rabbit in my thread?

Do you think the other rabbits found her attractive?

Had she've had bunny-babies with a brown rabbit, what colour would the bunny-babies've been?

What's Tom Cruise actually for?

Do you think he ought be made illegal?

Do you like sneezing?

Would you sneeze on Tom Cruise?

 

[BigToe]

is it ok if i ask you questions and you don't know me?

 

[RJB78]

Do you think we should give Greenie an award for asking the most and the funnest questions?

It's a thought, but I've not a clue what such an award would look like. Any ideas?

For the most entertaining presidential race, who should each of the two main parties nominate?

Pure entertainment value: The left should go with a Kucinich/Gravel ticket, and the right can nominate Fred Thompson in character from The Hunt for Red October, with Mitt Romney's personality du jour as his running mate.

If you could pick one celebrity to be president, who would it be?

I don't know that I'd trust anyone whom the American Hype Machine has made popular with great political power...

Who would it definitely NOT be?

Rosie O'Donnell/Donald Trump '08.

Fictional characters -- same two questions.

Personally, I support Darth Vader for president. His slogan will be "I find your lack of faith disturbing!" as he slowly brings the world under his iron grip. His running mate and First Tiger can be Hobbes, of comic strip fame.

If you want a serious answer, I'd be okay with either Jed Bartlett of the West Wing or David Palmer of 24... I'd actually love to see them run against each other. What a campaign!

We've run out of ribbon colors. Does that mean we can't advocate any more causes?

Have you considered differently-shaped ribbons?

Does your car have any stickers/magnets/etc? If so, what?

Haven't had my car long enough. My old one used to have an American flag, plus bumper stickers for the New England Patriots and the Baseball Hall of Fame.

Why does Hawaii have two "i"s?

The better to see you with, my dear.

Why does England have no "i"s?

Because there's no 'i' in team, but there is an 'e' and there's also an 'E' in England, thus signifying the spirit and unity of the British people. Or something like that.

When you play Pac-Man, do you feel a bit scared when all the chompy things are coming after you?

Not so much when I play the video game, but I was terrified of the ghosts in the cartoon version as a kid...

What song gets most frequently stuck in your head?

"Wouldn't it be Loverly?" from My Fair Lady. Literally every other week.

Can you drink a gallon of milk in ten seconds?

I certainly hope not.

If you were to join the circus, what would you role be?

I'd like to be shot out of a cannon. Wouldn't everyone?

Did you know am terrified of clowns?

I literally don't think I've ever met anyone who wasn't afraid of clowns. They're evil!

When did you last eat a gummy worm?

Ugh. Don't like gummy worms. It's like a cross between candy and industrial-grade plastic.

Why do worms become two worms when you cut a worm in half?

Because goodness knows, we need more disgusting crawly things in this world.

What's a "wacky noodle"?

Something I would not be comfortable to find in my chicken soup.

What's a "noodly wack"?

I think you made that up.

Would you rather have blue or purple skin?

Blue. Then I could be like my hero, the Great Gonzo!

Have you ever unintentionally glued your fingers together?

In grade school, perhaps. We were all young and foolish once...

Have you ever intentionally glued your fingers together?

See above, because I thought that was the question I was originally answering.

Can you skip stones?

Yes, but with a low level of proficiency.

When I watch my microwave, there's never any pictures. Is it broken?

Your satellite's probably down. Check with your local provider for details.

My tv won't cook my food. Is it broken?

You weren't meant to take the term 'Food Network' literally, you know...

Who's your favourite character from Narnia?

Aslan, of course.

Have you ever checked the back of your wardrobe to see if it takes you to another world?

Doesn't everyone?

If it did, would you go?

Sadly, I can't afford it. Narnia doesn't take American Express.

I've heard rumour that Earth is round. I laugh in the face of this rumour. What shape is it really?

The Earth is actually a rhomboid.

Can you provide conclusive proof?

You've never seen the Earth in the same room with a rhomboid, have you?

Do you like snow-globes?

Yes, especially the ones with the little floaty snowman pieces in them that say "A Florida Snowman..."

What is this duck-tape?

I suggest listening to Weird Al Yankovic's parody of Huey Lewis and the News, "I Want a New Duck." He covers this question better than I could.

Did you know Mac posted a picture of a green rabbit in my thread?

Nice! Was it a March hare that dyed itself green for St. Patrick's Day?

Do you think the other rabbits found her attractive?

They're rabbits. Considering their rate of reproduction, I doubt they're picky.

Had she've had bunny-babies with a brown rabbit, what colour would the bunny-babies've been?

Puce.

What's Tom Cruise actually for?

Starring in "Minority Report," I imagine. Only movie of his I've ever liked.

Do you think he ought be made illegal?

Nah. People are entiteled to be as loony as they like. Granted, he pushes the envelope.

Do you like sneezing?

No; it's like explosive facial decompression...

Would you sneeze on Tom Cruise?

Only if he didn't honor my request for a tissue in good time...

is it ok if i ask you questions and you don't know me?

Of course it is! The more the merrier!

 

[BigToe]

do you ever participate in any sports, recreationally?

where is your fave place you've ever traveled to?

do you have any pets?

 

[RJB78]

do you ever participate in any sports, recreationally?

Not at the moment, but I'm about to move and I'd love to find a softball league or something when I do.

where is your fave place you've ever traveled to?

For prettiness factor? Cape Cod, MA.

For coolness factor? New York City.

do you have any pets?

Yes. A small, frenetic dog named Penny who may actually be a space alien.

 

[Macrina]

Why is it that the smaller the dog, the bigger the attitude?

Do you know you earn brownie points for the Patriots sticker?

Do you know that it would be an actual brownie if I could attach one to this post?

Should we give brownies to Greenie for being the Posting Queen?

If we were to develop a ribbon to advocate for tigers being allowed to run for vice president, what shape and color would it be?

 

[RJB78]

Why is it that the smaller the dog, the bigger the attitude?

Because people know how to discipline big dogs. When a small dog gets yappy and aggressive, they think it's "cute" and they don't correct the behavior, so the dog doesn't learn.

At least, that's if I remember my Dog Whisperer correctly...

Do you know you earn brownie points for the Patriots sticker?

Nice! Can I transfer them to Bill Belichick for somehow acquiring Randy Moss with a spare 4th-round draft pick?

Do you know that it would be an actual brownie if I could attach one to this post?

Ooh... I love brownies.

Should we give brownies to Greenie for being the Posting Queen?

I fully support the giving of brownies to GreenMunchkin anytime she wants them.

If we were to develop a ribbon to advocate for tigers being allowed to run for vice president, what shape and color would it be?

It would be an orange-and-black striped octagon with the slogan "Tigers are GrrrrrrrrrrrrrEAT!"

 

[Macrina]

Sorry, brownie points are non-transferable. Brownies, however, are.

Speaking of brownies: Cake-like or fudgy?

 

[RJB78]

Sorry, brownie points are non-transferable. Brownies, however, are.

Speaking of brownies: Cake-like or fudgy?

So, I can transfer elves and fairies to anyone I want?

(See, cause... brownies, get it? Like... aw, never mind... )

Seriously, though, finding the proper balance between the fudgy and the cake-like has perplexed brownie philosophers for decades. I don't feel qualified to comment; we can only hope that brownie science will continue to advance within our lifetimes, bringing us ever closer to that long-awaited Nirvana... the perfect brownie.

 

[GreenMunchkin]

Did you know after one more post from you you can get a CF job and start giving out rep points?

Are you rubbing your hands together with the potential power?

Have you ever noticed how rubbing your hands together when you're wearing gloves is really difficult?

What's the point of fingerless gloves?

Did you know I own a pair of pink fingerless fishnet gloves, a la 1987?

If I let you borrow them, would I ever get them back?

If you were only to wear one, would you be concerned about resembling Michael Jackson?

Can you explain the whole e=MC squared thing to me?

Do you understand the dealio regarding Shroedinger's Cat?

Have you ever used a butter-knife for anything other than spreading butter?

If you were a ninja, would a butter-knife be a part of your cache of weapons?

What else would you have?

What's your ninja-name?

May I suggest Gert Teh Mighty Ninja Man?

 

[BigToe]

if Penny is a space alien, what planet does she hail from?

why are you about to move?

 

[RJB78]

Did you know after one more post from you you can get a CF job and start giving out rep points?

I wondered what I had to do to give out rep points! And maybe someday I will understand the whole CF 'job' structure, but that day has not yet transpired...

Are you rubbing your hands together with the potential power?

Perhaps I would be, if I understood it...

Have you ever noticed how rubbing your hands together when you're wearing gloves is really difficult?

Especially if you're clasping a snowball between them. Then you just grind the snow into your gloves and make your hands wet and cold.

What's the point of fingerless gloves?

They look cool when you're piloting the Millennium Falcon.

Did you know I own a pair of pink fingerless fishnet gloves, a la 1987?

I did not possess that knowledge. Now I know, and knowing is half the battle.

If I let you borrow them, would I ever get them back?

I'm kind of concerned about why you think I would want to borrow fishnet gloves circa 1987.

If you were only to wear one, would you be concerned about resembling Michael Jackson?

No, because I still have my original nose.

Can you explain the whole e=MC squared thing to me?

Apparently not. I even tried to look smart by having Wikipedia explain it to me, and then trying to look like the explanation came from me, but I failed. When you can't even understand the Wikipedia Entry, you know you're in trouble.

Do you understand the dealio regarding Shroedinger's Cat?

Shroedinger's Theorum, as I recall, was all about the observer inherently affecting what is observed. Schroedinger's Cat was an example used to illustrate the theory. If I remember correctly, the cat died.

Of course, I didn't check Wikipedia that time, so that could all be bunk.

Have you ever used a butter-knife for anything other than spreading butter?

I wouldn't even use a butter knife until I was ten. Mister Rogers told me not to...

If you were a ninja, would a butter-knife be a part of your cache of weapons?

If I were a ninja, I would be killed by my own throwing stars within four hours.

What else would you have?

A mask without eyeholes. And a bouquet of daisies to clutch as they buried me.

What's your ninja-name?

Man-Without-Stealth

May I suggest Gert Teh Mighty Ninja Man?

I'll keep it on file...

 

[RJB78]

if Penny is a space alien, what planet does she hail from?

I'm not sure. Are there any planets entirely dominated by jittery squirrels with nuclear-powered jetpacks?

why are you about to move?

Because I moved to Tennessee six months ago and it's just not right for me. So I'm moving again...