Purpose!

[Ren53]

Does anyone else feel like they don't have a purpose.

I've suffered with borderline for many years. I go for long periods of time with no problems then all of a sudden I just feel lonely probably because I can't seem to have friendships like other people even if I'm acting like a normal person.

That being said because I occasionally have severe depressed moods people just tell me they think it would be best for me if I didn't do things that make me happy because I couldn't handle it. I'm a musician and loved music until I started at a ministry school they keep telling me for my saftey and the well being of other students I can't do performance and ensemble subjects.

I feel the holy spirit telling me this is where I should be serving in the field of music God wouldn't have given me a talent for it for no reason. That being said I begin to doubt when I come up against resistance like this.

Then I get depressed that i don't seem to have a purpose in Gods plan. How do I cope with this resistance to me ever really being a part of the church? Am i looking at the situation all wrong?

 

[anonym00s]

It's impossible that you have no purpose. I am kind of taken aback by that statement. You are not specifying why you cannot handle music. What do you do that is unsafe for the other students?

 

[Ren53]

I'm not entirely sure. I did try to kill myself last year and a couple of the younger students found out when they noticed I wasn't at college. I didn't really think it would be that bad to tell them the truth seeing as they are my friends and they also wanted to be there for me and actually one of them has helped me but it seems the college wants me to keep the issue hidden.

 

[anonym00s]

Then I don't understand what the issue is. Why don't you ask the school specifically why they don't want you to perform?

 

[Ren53]

It's not the school that is the issue it's knowing whether id people keep telling me I cant do it does it mean I'm wrong in believing that God wants me to continue trying to do it?

 

[anonym00s]

It's not the school that is the issue it's knowing whether id people keep telling me I cant do it does it mean I'm wrong in believing that God wants me to continue trying to do it?

What people say does not always equal what God says. IF you feel the Holy Spirit telling you differently that what people are saying then by all means, listen to the Holy Spirit. I made a mistake when I felt the Holy Spirit telling me one thing and other, more knowledgeable-sounding christians told me otherwise so I listened to those people. I should have ignored what they said and listened to the Holy Spirit. You have your own relationship with God and through reading His Word you can hear His voice.

That said, there does appear to be cases in the Bible where God tells someone one thing and another person tells them to do otherwise and it is OK to do what the person says. This is the case when someone has authority over you - such as a pastor, police officer, or your husband. I will give the example of Sarah, Abraham's wife. God told her to do one thing but Abraham said to so something else and she followed what he said and that was OK becuase she was respecting his authority as her husband. I don't have the exact quote handy but I encourage you to look that one up.

In your case there seems to be no problem with authority - no one is forbidding you. I support you in following the Holy Spirit on this one.