The works of God's hands amaze me. How faithful and mighty are His hands; they pull together things I could never dream of. And I find my dreams and envisioning of how God will do His work very often fall short of how He actually does-- He may work in a totally different way than what I expect! Sometimes I get so attuned to how I think God will work, that I get so caught up in those thoughts.. and I end up missing the work I was hoping for in the first place! It gets in the way-- these misleading thoughts and dreams. And it makes me wonder sometimes why I even bother to dwell on such things. Why do I bother to even dream up something that is glorious to God in its own right, but totally different in how God will actually move? I'm a stewwer-- meaning if I find something important in my life, I dwell on it; I let it stew in my head (very introvert-like). It's tough to get out of my head; to concentrate on other things in life. I find this stewwing gets in the way sometimes-- it can lead to disapointment, assumptions (the mother of all error), misconclusions, and so forth, towards God and how I think life will pan out.
Sometimes I can't help it though; this anticipation and expectancy of God's movement compels me to dream how God will choose to fulfill His will in reality. Is this healthy though? I've noticed many times that the pure and holy inclinations of the heart; my desires to see God's glory shine upon His people, to see Christ move His mighty hand, and to see people swept into His kingdom, can lead to an almost selfish desire; where I become the focus of those dreams and hopes for the future instead of Christ. Almost like the dreams say, "Look at Ryan save all those people!", or ,"Man, the glory of God was upon Him." I can be so selfish sometimes! Even in my heart-throbbing desires for God. How decieving this can be, how careful I must be to always stay humble and make Christ the focus! It takes such diligence, and a willingness to dismiss such selfish thoughts and false desires. What I need is the Refiner's Fire.
It happens innocently enough, drawing out of true godly desires of the Father's Heart, but I know almost immediately after the selfish thoughts creep in, they soon direct the desires of my heart, which decieve and lead me astray from the very Heart of the Father I am seeking-- I must constantly be careful that God is the center. "O Father, Am I pure?" , "Are my hands clean?" Hmmm... Makes me re-check myself. I see how utterly critical it is to be absorbed with God's Word!
Can anyone else relate to how easy it is to become side-tracked in your prayers? What helps you to focus on God?
When it comes to true purity-- of thought, action, heart, and desire, it is these verses that means SOO much to me. It is a simple prayer:
Psalm 139:23
"Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts."
Psalm 24:3-5
"Who may ascend the hill of the LORD ?
Who may stand in his holy place?
He who has clean hands and a pure heart,
who does not lift up his soul to an idol
or swear by what is false.
He will receive blessing from the LORD
and vindication from God his Savior."
Yes, Search me O God, let me know when I am truly pure in you, that I may ascend to the hill of the Lord, O glory! Let me not be decieved by false desires, selfish hopes, and misleading thoughts-- the idol of my self. I dismiss such things Father, for they do not come from you. I ask, through your loving tenderness, mercy and kindness, that I will not stumble over or be allured by selfish desires, however innocent they may see. I desire to see You, yes God, YOU work. Not by my will, but yours O Lord. I surrender my life to you Jesus, so that you may work through me. And even if the process may hurt, even if I can't make sense of how you will work, even if its so difficult to endure, I ask that you would comfort me along the whole way, and my hope would lie in you alone. I need to feel you near. I can't do this without you, God. You know me; supply all my needs, Father, as you have promised. I trust in you alone, and I put no trust in the desires and wishes of my own selfish desires, however innocent they may seem. I desire to see you alone glorified in all things. May I be small, and you be big-- very big. For it is the sign of true purity. And I seek it, I desire it, I want it. Refine me with your Holy fire, O Holy Spirit. In Jesus' name, Amen!
Sometimes I can't help it though; this anticipation and expectancy of God's movement compels me to dream how God will choose to fulfill His will in reality. Is this healthy though? I've noticed many times that the pure and holy inclinations of the heart; my desires to see God's glory shine upon His people, to see Christ move His mighty hand, and to see people swept into His kingdom, can lead to an almost selfish desire; where I become the focus of those dreams and hopes for the future instead of Christ. Almost like the dreams say, "Look at Ryan save all those people!", or ,"Man, the glory of God was upon Him." I can be so selfish sometimes! Even in my heart-throbbing desires for God. How decieving this can be, how careful I must be to always stay humble and make Christ the focus! It takes such diligence, and a willingness to dismiss such selfish thoughts and false desires. What I need is the Refiner's Fire.
It happens innocently enough, drawing out of true godly desires of the Father's Heart, but I know almost immediately after the selfish thoughts creep in, they soon direct the desires of my heart, which decieve and lead me astray from the very Heart of the Father I am seeking-- I must constantly be careful that God is the center. "O Father, Am I pure?" , "Are my hands clean?" Hmmm... Makes me re-check myself. I see how utterly critical it is to be absorbed with God's Word!
Can anyone else relate to how easy it is to become side-tracked in your prayers? What helps you to focus on God?
When it comes to true purity-- of thought, action, heart, and desire, it is these verses that means SOO much to me. It is a simple prayer:
Psalm 139:23
"Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts."
Psalm 24:3-5
"Who may ascend the hill of the LORD ?
Who may stand in his holy place?
He who has clean hands and a pure heart,
who does not lift up his soul to an idol
or swear by what is false.
He will receive blessing from the LORD
and vindication from God his Savior."
Yes, Search me O God, let me know when I am truly pure in you, that I may ascend to the hill of the Lord, O glory! Let me not be decieved by false desires, selfish hopes, and misleading thoughts-- the idol of my self. I dismiss such things Father, for they do not come from you. I ask, through your loving tenderness, mercy and kindness, that I will not stumble over or be allured by selfish desires, however innocent they may see. I desire to see You, yes God, YOU work. Not by my will, but yours O Lord. I surrender my life to you Jesus, so that you may work through me. And even if the process may hurt, even if I can't make sense of how you will work, even if its so difficult to endure, I ask that you would comfort me along the whole way, and my hope would lie in you alone. I need to feel you near. I can't do this without you, God. You know me; supply all my needs, Father, as you have promised. I trust in you alone, and I put no trust in the desires and wishes of my own selfish desires, however innocent they may seem. I desire to see you alone glorified in all things. May I be small, and you be big-- very big. For it is the sign of true purity. And I seek it, I desire it, I want it. Refine me with your Holy fire, O Holy Spirit. In Jesus' name, Amen!
