God may have more confidence in you than you do.
No, he hasn't mentioned anything,, so I am confused to see if I should say something or leave it alone. What if it was not a wet dream and he was masturbating, what if it was a wet dream and he wasn't masturbating.
I'll be more explicit if I have to be, but since somebody masturbates voluntarily I'd think they would choose a place or approach that doesn't leave something for their mom to clean up. I doubt that's what is going on.
I'm not a counsellor, so I hate to give advice. I'd think it would be better for you or his mentor to say something, but I make no guarantees.
If you're pretty sure it was sexual activity of some sort, I'd say the goal would be to let him see that you understand that he's now an adolescent, that you're happy with that, and he can talk with you. So the conversation doesn't have to be more than a sentence or two if you don't sense that he wants to talk. I brought it up myself, and the response was no more than that. But I could tell that my parents were fine, and it never bothered me. It could just be "hey, I noticed ... on your sheet. I assume you've probably started having what a lot of people call "wet dreams." I want to make sure you know that's normal at your age. It means your sex organs have started to work. I guess you're now officially an adolescent. Congratulations. Do you have any questions or want to talk about it? if you'd rather talk to a guy, you could talk to [name of mentor]."
Again, he may be fine. A combination of sex education and his own good sense may have left him just fine, but I'd feel safer if you knew. He's a kid who is having changes he may not quite understand happen to his body. He needs support, and he needs to know that you accept it, and he doesn't have to hide it from you. You want to be able to talk with him about his attitude towards girls, dating, etc. That will be easier if you're easy to talk with from the beginning. Don't expect a long or deep conversation, by the way. Just enough to let him sense your attitude.
Let him get comfortable with the idea of being an adolescent before you worry about masturbation, if you're going to worry about it. (Again, I don't recommend being concerned. If he's at all smart, you'll never know if he is, and you may want to leave it that way.)
When you start trying to assess how serious his relationships are with girls and what is appropriate (and that's going to be coming a lot more quickly than you probably want it to), it may not be practical for someone else to do it all for you. That's why I'd be inclined to suggest not delegating the whole thing to a mentor, though the mentor can certainly help you.
I do recommend assessing the mentor's attitudes. Not all adults can deal calmly with adolescent sexuality. Somebody could be a great pal for going out to ball games, but not be appropriate for this.
I mean, I don't ever remember my husband having this wet dream,,, is this something that happens throughout their life?
Now you're getting beyond my expertise. I can't say what all men experience. Wikipedia says it is common in adolescence and young adults, and less so later. I would think it's less likely if you're having regular sex or masturbating regularly, but Wikipedia says the evidence isn't so clear. Apparently some guys do and some don't, and it may be different at different ages. But since it's more common for adolescents, and it's variable anyway, it's not a surprise that your husband didn't. Note that if he does get them, it could happen every couple of weeks, so there's a good chance this will happen regularly. I'd suggest trying to get yourself comfortable with it before the next time.
It looks like age 11 is about the norm.
