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Trigger Warning Psychological Block

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I have a psychological block to my boyfriend. While he is a great person it is obvious that my inability to remember and the things I say annoy him often to the point that he lashes out at me publicly. In one instance I was talking about a country and he lashed out at me saying that I am talking nonsense. This makes me feel bad like I am a liability to him not an asset. A person is a of product of their memory, when that memory goes who and what do that person have to hold on to?

For sometime now I find myself unable to see him or recognize him. Therefore when he would comes to visit and calls out to me I literally cannot see him, although a few times I heard him. When I am talking to some people I think I am talking to someone else. For example I may be talking to a guy and think I am talking to my boyfriend, or I am talking to my boyfriend thinking he is someone else. This mix up has caused problems. In one case somebody was coming on to me and I ask the person if they were my boyfriend and that person said yes, only to find out that person was not my boyfriend but someone else, not even a guy but a female.

I think my boyfriend is the only one that I literally cannot see for the most part, so this seems to be a personal issue that I have with him, a mental block that is preventing me from literally seeing him for years.

Have you every heard of this type of situation and how can I help myself to see him?
 
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The following article will help you to understand what is happening to me in a similar way

The blind woman who switched personalities and could suddenly see

I cannot depend on him. When Jesus Christ revealed to me what was happening 5 years ago I reached out to him.I wanted somewhere to stay and he completely ignored me, wanting nothing to do with me, while his very good friend were willing to accommodate me. When I saw his social media account online I saw no evidence of what God had told me. I saw him and a dancehall singer posing together, I saw pictures of him and that was about it. That is what he posted about his life.

During these 5 years I have reached out to him online but he has completely ignored me.

During this time God showed me that he and my former best friend Stacy was getting close to the point that it would turn into a romantic relationship where he would choose her over me. I warned him about what God was saying but he wasn't listening to what I said.

My former best friend ended up speaking badly about me in public, laughing at me, etc However it seems that somehow he has found it in his heart to still remain in contact with her on the phone, in person. He has accommodated her, spent time with her, while he has completely ignored me. As a matter of fact she knows a lot of things about him, where he is, what he is doing, but I know nothing about him. Whenever he is going somewhere she is always waiting for him. She calls him 8:00 a.m every morning and he has no problem spending time with her publicly and otherwise. Whenever he sees her his face lights up but when he sees me it is the complete opposite

He has pushed me out of his life while he accommodates women around him who dislike me and treats me badly. God has shown me that he has revealed to him how bad my former best friend is, however I heard him telling God "No, no, no." He didn't want to a accept the fact that she was a bad person. During this time God kept on giving me dreams about them and other things so I could know what was going on.

Therefore it has been 5 years of knowing what I know but nothing has changed. It is like I never told him anything, or know anything, and I suspect that things will never change. He will continue living his life while I will continue to live my life, continuously being ignorant as to the reality of his relationship with me and what has been going on throughout our relationship.

I deserve to know the truth about what has been going on, I have been waiting for 5 years and still nothing has changed. I am just as ignorant as I was 5 years ago in regards to my life and relationship with him. He has purposely kept me from the truth. God gave me a dream just today when I heard a female stating about a guy that he got a divorce in order to pursue his true love.

I leave him and his friends in the hands of Jesus Christ because I cannot continue to live like this.


I needed to also add that although my alter has had difficulty seeing him I tried my best to reach out to him by both email and phone starting 5 years ago. When Jesus Christ began to explain what was going on I was shocked. I tried my best to get in contact with me and he knew that and kept ignoring me over and over again, he wanted nothing to do with me he did not want to speak to me nor meet me anywhere.

He treated me very badly, he has never treated his friends bad the way he has treated me, and that is the knowledge that my alter has to live with every single day. My alter constantly remembers over and over how he, his friends, and others have treated me like I was nothing (snapped at me, shout at me, rejected me, etc). I know I cannot rely on him for anything, that he does not want me around him etc

Thanks be to Jesus Christ though for being with me through this entire ordeal, showing me what is going on.

God has also allowed me to hear a woman who will or has come to my asking asking if I still live where I live. Who this woman is I don't know.
 
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