http://health.discovery.com/news/healthscout/article.jsp?aid=515490
well, not really, but still pretty weird. and cool.
well, not really, but still pretty weird. and cool.
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psychic monkeys!
- Thread starter Orihalcon
- Start date
Its only a matter of time until those monkies get fully robotic bodies.
Then there wil be NOTHING to stop them! We will be DOOMED! DOOMED I SAY!
Then there wil be NOTHING to stop them! We will be DOOMED! DOOMED I SAY!
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Bushido216
Well-Known Member
- Aug 30, 2003
- 6,385
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That would be hot. They need not even limit this technology to paralyzed people / amputees.
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)the_malevolent_milk_man
Well-Known Member
Sweet. I've always wanted a monkey tail I could control. Imagine the possibilities!
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the_malevolent_milk_man
Well-Known Member
http://rtf.kracked.com/sealab03.html
Sealab 2021 for teh win!
Stormy: Okay, okay. So, say I put my brain in a robot body, and there's a war. Robots versus humans. What side am I on?
Debbie: Humans! You have a human brain.
Sparks: But... the humans discriminate against you. You can't even vote!
Marco: We'd better not have to live on a reservation. That would really chap my caboose.
Murphy: Yeah, but... Nobody knows you're a robot. You look the same.
Debbie: Mm-mm, dogs know. That's how the humans hunt you.
Stormy: They're gonna hunt me for sport?
Marco: That's why we have to crush mankind! So you might as well get on board for the big win, Stormy.
Sealab's Exterior
Quinn, in scuba gear, is working on the hull breach with a laser-welding kit.
Quinn: They're yappin' about puttin' their brains in a robot?? (as Stormy) "Hey, what about the leak? Oh, Quinn'll save us! Quinn always saves us!" Stupid rockin-fra, I'll tell -
One of the pods implodes.
****!
The scene is zoomed back into the news report from before. The inset shows Sealab minus one pod.
Reporter: Coming up at ten, explosions rip through Sealab. We'll have all the details, plus... Chopper Dave!
Inset now shows the zany Chopper Dave, flying his chopper.
Chopper Dave: HOOOOOOOOOOOO -
Chopper Dave's chopper explodes.
Bridge
The crew - minus Quinn - are watching the news report. A transmission from Hesh cuts in on the screen.
Hesh: Hey. I got a few conditions on this robot thing.
Murphy: Holy ****! Did you see that freaking chopper explode??
Hesh: I'll only put my brain in a -
Computer: Danger.
Hesh: - robot body, if I can put it in a robot cat.
Sparks: Um, okay. But, but remember, you'll have the strength of five gorillas.
Murphy: (to himself) I know I saw that frickin' chopper.
Debbie: Why settle for a cat, Hesh? You could be a robot, mm, tiger.
Marco: No-no-no-no-no-no, no, no, no! ¡Absolutamente, no! If I have to be five-feet-nothing, Hesh can't be a tiger!
Murphy: You're not the boss of tiger-bot Hesh!
Marco: Then he has to live in a robot zoo!
Computer: Danger.
Marco: Hear that, Hesh? The zoo! Hah!
Hesh: Well, then Hesh will stay human!
Sparks: Don't expect any mercy during the Great Robot Wars.
Hesh: Yeah? Well, have fun on the robot reservation, suckers! We're not gonna honor those bogus treaties! Hesh, will see you, in He -
Sparks kills the transmission.
Sparks: He's right. They will screw us.
Shots of the crew's troubled expressions as a particularly hideous creak issues from the hull.
Computer: Danger.
Marco: Listen! ...It's time to get serious.
Murphy: Yeah, enough of this talk! Let's... kill the human.
Debbie: You can't break Prime Directive Two!
Marco: So what are they gonna do about it?
Debbie: Let's ask Old Gus. He'll know.
Sealab Exterior
Quinn, grumbling angrily to himself, is still working on the breach.
Computer: Danger.
Another pod implodes.
Quinn: ****!
Computer: Pod Seven has imploded.
Quinn: We just lost Pod Seven. Bridge, this is Quinn. Come in.
Bridge
The crew are talking to Old Gus via the monitor.
Old Gus: The penalty -
Quinn's transmission cuts in.
Quinn: Come in! Pod Seven's gone! You gotta get everyone outta Pod Six! The -
Sparks: Aw, for the love of...
Sparks cuts off Quinn and brings Gus back up on the screen.
Sorry, Gus.
Old Gus: Ahem. The penalty for a robot harming a human will be one thousand years, frozen in carbonite!
End transmission.
Stormy: A thousand years frozen in carbonite?? It'll be so cold!
Rousing choral music starts up in the background.
Murphy: My nipples are hard just thinking about it.
Stormy: Man, I'd kill myself.
Debbie: Hel-looo? Prime Directive Three!
Murphy: Dame Prime Directives! I just don't know if I wanna live a thousand years. Even as an Adrienne Barbeau-bot... with hard nipples.
Marco: Plus, self-termination? Hey, I gotta tell ya, it's a sin in the eyes of the Robot Church.
Murphy: We don't need Rome telling us what to do!
There are some more hideous creaking noises.
Computer: Pod Six critical.
Sparks: Wait! If we're robots, we'll have mechanics! They could shut us down, permanently.
Debbie: No-no-no-no-no-no. Your robot body would go crazy and kill 'em.
Marco: With the strength of five gorillas!
Stormy: And then it's right back to the carbonite.
Murphy: And, there go my nipples again.
On the monitor, Pod Six implodes.
Sparks: And, there goes Pod Six.
Computer: Pod Six has imploded.
Debbie: God, it's so depressing.
Murphy: What? Pod Six was jerks.
Debbie: No, being trapped in carbonite.
Murphy: Oh, yeah, that.
Debbie: (gasp) But what if you get a brain tumor?
Stormy: Yeah, a, a big-*** tumor!!
Sparks: No... your robot body's a brain surgeon.
Murphy: Aw, that's bunk. It's not gonna be a brain surgeon.
Marco: If it can't break the five-foot barrier, it can't be a brain surgeon.
Sparks: Yes, it can. If Hesh can be a giant tiger-bot, what's a little -
Marco: Hesh is gonna stay human. He'll die in the first wave.
Murphy: Unless, he's a tiger-bot already!
Pause. The whole crew looks at Murphy like he's an idiot, as bits of mangled hull drift down past the viewport.
...It could happen.
Sealab Exterior
Quinn is swimming back toward the airlock.
Computer: Danger.
Another pod implodes.
Computer: Dange -
Another pod implodes. Quinn swims into the airlock.
Tank Room
Quinn, looking happy, has lifted his scuba mask.
Quinn: Almost died, but I saved Sealab! Time to get me some props! Hey yo, hey every-bod-day!
Quinn leaves the room, and the scene fades with a wipe and a Superfriends-like sound effect.
Sealab 2021 for teh win!
Stormy: Okay, okay. So, say I put my brain in a robot body, and there's a war. Robots versus humans. What side am I on?
Debbie: Humans! You have a human brain.
Sparks: But... the humans discriminate against you. You can't even vote!
Marco: We'd better not have to live on a reservation. That would really chap my caboose.
Murphy: Yeah, but... Nobody knows you're a robot. You look the same.
Debbie: Mm-mm, dogs know. That's how the humans hunt you.
Stormy: They're gonna hunt me for sport?
Marco: That's why we have to crush mankind! So you might as well get on board for the big win, Stormy.
Sealab's Exterior
Quinn, in scuba gear, is working on the hull breach with a laser-welding kit.
Quinn: They're yappin' about puttin' their brains in a robot?? (as Stormy) "Hey, what about the leak? Oh, Quinn'll save us! Quinn always saves us!" Stupid rockin-fra, I'll tell -
One of the pods implodes.
****!
The scene is zoomed back into the news report from before. The inset shows Sealab minus one pod.
Reporter: Coming up at ten, explosions rip through Sealab. We'll have all the details, plus... Chopper Dave!
Inset now shows the zany Chopper Dave, flying his chopper.
Chopper Dave: HOOOOOOOOOOOO -
Chopper Dave's chopper explodes.
Bridge
The crew - minus Quinn - are watching the news report. A transmission from Hesh cuts in on the screen.
Hesh: Hey. I got a few conditions on this robot thing.
Murphy: Holy ****! Did you see that freaking chopper explode??
Hesh: I'll only put my brain in a -
Computer: Danger.
Hesh: - robot body, if I can put it in a robot cat.
Sparks: Um, okay. But, but remember, you'll have the strength of five gorillas.
Murphy: (to himself) I know I saw that frickin' chopper.
Debbie: Why settle for a cat, Hesh? You could be a robot, mm, tiger.
Marco: No-no-no-no-no-no, no, no, no! ¡Absolutamente, no! If I have to be five-feet-nothing, Hesh can't be a tiger!
Murphy: You're not the boss of tiger-bot Hesh!
Marco: Then he has to live in a robot zoo!
Computer: Danger.
Marco: Hear that, Hesh? The zoo! Hah!
Hesh: Well, then Hesh will stay human!
Sparks: Don't expect any mercy during the Great Robot Wars.
Hesh: Yeah? Well, have fun on the robot reservation, suckers! We're not gonna honor those bogus treaties! Hesh, will see you, in He -
Sparks kills the transmission.
Sparks: He's right. They will screw us.
Shots of the crew's troubled expressions as a particularly hideous creak issues from the hull.
Computer: Danger.
Marco: Listen! ...It's time to get serious.
Murphy: Yeah, enough of this talk! Let's... kill the human.
Debbie: You can't break Prime Directive Two!
Marco: So what are they gonna do about it?
Debbie: Let's ask Old Gus. He'll know.
Sealab Exterior
Quinn, grumbling angrily to himself, is still working on the breach.
Computer: Danger.
Another pod implodes.
Quinn: ****!
Computer: Pod Seven has imploded.
Quinn: We just lost Pod Seven. Bridge, this is Quinn. Come in.
Bridge
The crew are talking to Old Gus via the monitor.
Old Gus: The penalty -
Quinn's transmission cuts in.
Quinn: Come in! Pod Seven's gone! You gotta get everyone outta Pod Six! The -
Sparks: Aw, for the love of...
Sparks cuts off Quinn and brings Gus back up on the screen.
Sorry, Gus.
Old Gus: Ahem. The penalty for a robot harming a human will be one thousand years, frozen in carbonite!
End transmission.
Stormy: A thousand years frozen in carbonite?? It'll be so cold!
Rousing choral music starts up in the background.
Murphy: My nipples are hard just thinking about it.
Stormy: Man, I'd kill myself.
Debbie: Hel-looo? Prime Directive Three!
Murphy: Dame Prime Directives! I just don't know if I wanna live a thousand years. Even as an Adrienne Barbeau-bot... with hard nipples.
Marco: Plus, self-termination? Hey, I gotta tell ya, it's a sin in the eyes of the Robot Church.
Murphy: We don't need Rome telling us what to do!
There are some more hideous creaking noises.
Computer: Pod Six critical.
Sparks: Wait! If we're robots, we'll have mechanics! They could shut us down, permanently.
Debbie: No-no-no-no-no-no. Your robot body would go crazy and kill 'em.
Marco: With the strength of five gorillas!
Stormy: And then it's right back to the carbonite.
Murphy: And, there go my nipples again.
On the monitor, Pod Six implodes.
Sparks: And, there goes Pod Six.
Computer: Pod Six has imploded.
Debbie: God, it's so depressing.
Murphy: What? Pod Six was jerks.
Debbie: No, being trapped in carbonite.
Murphy: Oh, yeah, that.
Debbie: (gasp) But what if you get a brain tumor?
Stormy: Yeah, a, a big-*** tumor!!
Sparks: No... your robot body's a brain surgeon.
Murphy: Aw, that's bunk. It's not gonna be a brain surgeon.
Marco: If it can't break the five-foot barrier, it can't be a brain surgeon.
Sparks: Yes, it can. If Hesh can be a giant tiger-bot, what's a little -
Marco: Hesh is gonna stay human. He'll die in the first wave.
Murphy: Unless, he's a tiger-bot already!
Pause. The whole crew looks at Murphy like he's an idiot, as bits of mangled hull drift down past the viewport.
...It could happen.
Sealab Exterior
Quinn is swimming back toward the airlock.
Computer: Danger.
Another pod implodes.
Computer: Dange -
Another pod implodes. Quinn swims into the airlock.
Tank Room
Quinn, looking happy, has lifted his scuba mask.
Quinn: Almost died, but I saved Sealab! Time to get me some props! Hey yo, hey every-bod-day!
Quinn leaves the room, and the scene fades with a wipe and a Superfriends-like sound effect.
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ReUsAbLePhEoNiX
Liberated from SinComplex
Sounds like FutureRama I read once of a guy who claimed to have kept a monkey head alive for 12 hours. in the future maybe they can keep our heads alive and give us robot bodies.
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