Proposal Poll

[DieHappy]

If you were proposed to in the following way, what would you think/feel ?

He gets you 18 roses at Target because they are having a special on them. He's been "planning" this since Thanksgiving. He then makes up something on the way home in the car about 9 of the roses representing the 9 months you have dated and the other 9 the 9 months until your wedding date. He then brings the roses to you and puts them in a plastic cup that is too small for them and won't hold them. He says there should be 18. You count and there are only 17, so you think Target has jipped him, then you look over your shoulder and he is on one knee with the 18th rose which has a ring tied to it and asks you to marry him. That's it. No dinner reservations, no surprises, no exciting New Year's Eve activity, just a rose with a ring on it that took him 5 minutes to plan.

Heh, that's better than I did!

 

[Princess Pea]

Are you really surprised?

Nah, not really.

I don't technically belong in here myself, being as single as they come. I guess that's why it hit me so strongly, even 2 days after the OP, that something must be badly wrong in a relationship where there's disappointment in a proposal. I mean, if it ever happens to me I honestly think I'll be too delirious with joy to remember my own soon-to-be-changed name ... unless it isn't the right guy.

The OP hasn't been back - I sincerely hope everything is OK with her. The replies she recieved are not going to let her stay in her comfort zone. I hope they will somehow bring grace to her life anyway.

 

[reverie_maiden]

If you were proposed to in the following way, what would you think/feel ?

He gets you 18 roses at Target because they are having a special on them. He's been "planning" this since Thanksgiving. He then makes up something on the way home in the car about 9 of the roses representing the 9 months you have dated and the other 9 the 9 months until your wedding date. He then brings the roses to you and puts them in a plastic cup that is too small for them and won't hold them. He says there should be 18. You count and there are only 17, so you think Target has jipped him, then you look over your shoulder and he is on one knee with the 18th rose which has a ring tied to it and asks you to marry him. That's it. No dinner reservations, no surprises, no exciting New Year's Eve activity, just a rose with a ring on it that took him 5 minutes to plan.

Awwww....that's sooo sweet! The details don't matter...it is the thought that counts!

 

[reverie_maiden]

Heh, that's better than I did!

Oh oh oh oh.....do tell what you did!

 

[joeman1]

If you were proposed to in the following way, what would you think/feel ?

He gets you 18 roses at Target because they are having a special on them. He's been "planning" this since Thanksgiving. He then makes up something on the way home in the car about 9 of the roses representing the 9 months you have dated and the other 9 the 9 months until your wedding date. He then brings the roses to you and puts them in a plastic cup that is too small for them and won't hold them. He says there should be 18. You count and there are only 17, so you think Target has jipped him, then you look over your shoulder and he is on one knee with the 18th rose which has a ring tied to it and asks you to marry him. That's it. No dinner reservations, no surprises, no exciting New Year's Eve activity, just a rose with a ring on it that took him 5 minutes to plan.

I am going to have to stand up for a fellow guy. Did anyone ever think that just maybe the ring wiped out his proposal budget? I mean that is what is the main symbol not the roses not the dinner not big events. I know I have been looking for rings for when I pop the question to my girlfriend and let me tell you sticker shock. Thing is though she would kill me if I spent too much. So take all factors into account before bashing the guy for doing something that I would find romantic if I was a gal. I have heard of a lot worse. just don't bash him too much oh and by the way did you say yes?

 

[bumblebee62331]

I am going to have to stand up for a fellow guy. Did anyone ever think that just maybe the ring wiped out his proposal budget? I mean that is what is the main symbol not the roses not the dinner not big events. I know I have been looking for rings for when I pop the question to my girlfriend and let me tell you sticker shock. Thing is though she would kill me if I spent too much. So take all factors into account before bashing the guy for doing something that I would find romantic if I was a gal. I have heard of a lot worse. just don't bash him too much oh and by the way did you say yes?

Um...what??

If I'm not mistaken, mostfemales in both of the threads started about this topic, have been backing the guy. Even being a little in-the-face of the OP. Nobody is "bashing" him in any response I have read.

 

[joeman1]

Um...what??

If I'm not mistaken, mostfemales in both of the threads started about this topic, have been backing the guy. Even being a little in-the-face of the OP. Nobody is "bashing" him in any response I have read.

sorry I was refering to the OP not everyone else sorry aobut that. I got a little carried away and since I was the only guy to defend I kinda went over the top.

 

[bumblebee62331]

sorry I was refering to the OP not everyone else sorry aobut that. I got a little carried away and since I was the only guy to defend I kinda went over the top.

'tis okay.

I just thought I might have missed the 'bashing' posts.

Most women can look past the proposal and see the question and the meaning.

 

[RooMama]

Oh oh oh oh.....do tell what you did!

We were at his parents house. I had done some laundry over there and he walked me to my car. I put the laundry basket in the car and when I turned around he was on one knee holding a ring box. He asked me to marry him, I started jumping up and down and said yes. We've now been married for 5 1/2 years.

 

[gracefaith]

I am going to have to stand up for a fellow guy. Did anyone ever think that just maybe the ring wiped out his proposal budget? I mean that is what is the main symbol not the roses not the dinner not big events. I know I have been looking for rings for when I pop the question to my girlfriend and let me tell you sticker shock. Thing is though she would kill me if I spent too much. So take all factors into account before bashing the guy for doing something that I would find romantic if I was a gal. I have heard of a lot worse. just don't bash him too much oh and by the way did you say yes?

You know, I've been wondering about the ring myself. She never mentioned it - was it any good? Expensive? Pretty? Thoughtful?

Thought it was kind of odd. Most girls jump on here and show off the ring before anything else.

Come to think of it, did she even tell us whether she said 'Yes'?

 

[jenn82]

If you were proposed to in the following way, what would you think/feel ?

He gets you 18 roses at Target because they are having a special on them. He's been "planning" this since Thanksgiving. He then makes up something on the way home in the car about 9 of the roses representing the 9 months you have dated and the other 9 the 9 months until your wedding date. He then brings the roses to you and puts them in a plastic cup that is too small for them and won't hold them. He says there should be 18. You count and there are only 17, so you think Target has jipped him, then you look over your shoulder and he is on one knee with the 18th rose which has a ring tied to it and asks you to marry him. That's it. No dinner reservations, no surprises, no exciting New Year's Eve activity, just a rose with a ring on it that took him 5 minutes to plan.

I'm sorry that you didn't think that this was romantic enough. I think it's great.

I havn't seen the OP back on this thread since it was opened? I wonder what she thinks or what she will say?

 

[Leanna]

 

[Carri20]

Honest to Pete..

Why doesn't that surprise me.

10 to 1 she made him blow 6 months pay on a ring and then said no. (We already know she's making him redo the proposal...)

Someone give me his address so I can send a sympathy card.

 

[Amy47]

Why isn't the OP Responding?

 

[Hope_0004]

Why isn't the OP Responding?

Would you respond to this?

I know that everyone feels sorry for this guy, and thinks this girl is being silly... BUT we don't know what all is going on here.

It could be that this guy is always making her feel "second best", and this proposal was just one more thing. It could be because she didn't feel like the proposal was whole-hearted, the way it went down. But the reason she's not responding is because we've all basically flat-out told her she's shrew.

To the OP - I'm still going to have to agree that if you really loved this guy AND didn't have reservations about marrying him, the mode of proposal probably would not matter too much to you. The fact that it does - well, I would have to say you need to look inside yourself and figure out why this made you sad and not ecstatic. Is it because you know he's not right for you? Because you know that the two of you just don't "click", or because you know he doesn't care about you the way you want a future husband to? If it is any of these reasons, this might have made his proposal look "cheap" or "unthoughtful" to you. But don't make that the "excuse" for not saying yes - find out why it really made you feel that way.

I don't think you're a bad person - I just don't think that for whatever reason you are ready to get married yet. But you can't rag on him for the proposal and not tell him the real reason, whether it has to do with him, you, or the relationship itself. He does deserve to know the truth.

I do want you to know that I understand how you feel - though no one has ever proposed to me before, I have had guys that just weren't "the One" talk about it, or give me a gift I didn't want, or whatever - and it always feels "bad". But it's really just hiding one problem under a less "final" one.

 

[ChildOfGod20]

of course she's not responding! some of u r being pretty harsh. you know, i can understand how she feels about the whole situation. although it wouldn't matter to me how he proposed i'd still have some disappointment if it was extremely unromantic and i knew for sure that he didn't spend much time on it or put much thought into it.

 

[NewCovenant]

Living4Him03, I can only say that if I were in love with a man and I knew he loved me, I would have accepted this proposal. I think it's sweet. It's not a movie proposal, but what is? So the flowers were from Target, big deal. I wouldn't be so concerned with the price of the flowers (or the cup/vase -- who has a vase ready with them when they are so emotional?), I would be more concerned with the sincerity of the proposal, and this man's HEART. I hope you did not turn down his proprosal because you were unsatisfied with the presentation. Many GOOD MEN make minor mistakes with the romantic details, but make wonderful husbands and lifelong lovers. If you love this man, I pray that you did not let your feelings about the romantic details of a proposal that didn't go the way you dreamed of effect your decision.

As far as this fellow is concerned, I have to agree with Joe. Perhaps the cost of the ring did leave him broke. Maybe Target is Saks to his budget. Either way, I think he deserves some consideration. He was going out on a serious emotional limb here.

My opinion on the romantic details: I *like* this proposal, and I think it took him more than 5 minutes to concoct his little scheme. I think it was sweet, loving, caring, and thoughtful. He knew exactly how long they've been dating, he had an approximate date set for the wedding in his sweet head, he purchased the ring without dragging her from store to store, he brought flowers (even though you were unsatisfied with them).

I give it an *8*!!

 

[Hope_0004]

So what happened OP, if you dare to enter?

 

[melandshanetria]

If you were proposed to in the following way, what would you think/feel ?

He gets you 18 roses at Target because they are having a special on them. He's been "planning" this since Thanksgiving. He then makes up something on the way home in the car about 9 of the roses representing the 9 months you have dated and the other 9 the 9 months until your wedding date. He then brings the roses to you and puts them in a plastic cup that is too small for them and won't hold them. He says there should be 18. You count and there are only 17, so you think Target has jipped him, then you look over your shoulder and he is on one knee with the 18th rose which has a ring tied to it and asks you to marry him. That's it. No dinner reservations, no surprises, no exciting New Year's Eve activity, just a rose with a ring on it that took him 5 minutes to plan.

How sweet! I would have been overjoyed, no matter how it happend. You have so many that don't even know when to propose.

 

[lacedinlavender]

I would have been overjoyed that he cared so much about me that he proposed. What were you looking for in his proposal, since it apparently wasn't up to your standards? Maybe you were looking for that perfect fairytale proposal, but sometimes us women have to realize that real life isn't always like a fairytale--sometimes you have to be thankful for what you have rather than focusing on what you don't. Attitude is everything, and negativity isn't going to get you anywhere in relationships or in life.

I really thought the way he proposed was sweet. Don't discredit him by saying he took five minutes to plan it when you don't really know. Be thankful that he obviously cared enough about you to make the gesture. Do all the little details (that he got the roses from Target (roses are roses), the cup to put them in was a little too small) really matter? Why does it seem like you needed such a huge production of this?

Jen