Problems with witnessing

[BlueCelt]

Hola all,

I was wondering if I could get some advice on dealing with a Christian relative. My mom's a very involved Christian and her faith is the centerpoint to her life pretty much. She's retired and I really like seeing her busy and involved in it.

I recently moved back home to help out my folks and to get help myself (detoxing and recovering from drugs) and its been great for the most part. However I am a practicing Pagan (Eclectic Wiccan if curious) and almost a weak agnostic really, and this causes some conflict. My mom seems to want to convert me at every turn. I'm polite because I understand the motivation (I was raised Christian myself) and I appreciate the concern but I don't want to engage in this really.

We've recently started reading some books together on Apologetics. Its been nice at a intellectual exercise level for me but it hasn't been for her. I guess its a mind game for me and a matter of faith for her. What I'm asking for some advice here is how can I gently pry her away from constantly witnessing and challenging me on religious issues? I avoid going into my religious concepts out of respect and I try not to challenge her faith.

I've been out of the church so long I don't really speak the language anymore and don't know how to get her to release the witnessing thing. Any advice would be helpful.

Best,

Blue

 

[aiki]

What I'm asking for some advice here is how can I gently pry her away from constantly witnessing and challenging me on religious issues? I avoid going into my religious concepts out of respect and I try not to challenge her faith.

How can you get your Mom to stop witnessing to you? Well, there's the obvious answer...y'know...get saved.

It seems to me that your Mom is simply acting on her very strong convictions. If she didn't believe wholeheartedly in the truths of the Bible, she'd probably let you carry on unhindered in your paganism. But it appears she really does believe what the Bible says about your eternal destiny. How, then, could she not do as she is doing? Actually, given the jeopardy the Bible says your in, your Mom is showing remarkable restraint.

Sure, its irritating to have your Mom constantly foisting her deep concerns for your soul upon you, but isn't that better than the opposite? I mean, she could be completely apathetic toward you, caring not a whit about your eternal destiny. Would you really prefer that?

You and your Mom, spiritually speaking, are like oil and water. Everything you believe and practice as a Pagan is an offense to her faith. It seems kinda' odd (well, rude actually) to me for you to be in her home and expect her to make concessions, to mute her concerns for you, so that you may more comfortably live in opposition to her faith. I think that the one place she ought to have perfectly free reign to live out her convictions to their fullest is in her own home. Don't you? I think it says something very good about your Christian mother that a pagan cannot find peace in her home. This is as it ought to be. I mean, if you were living with Jesus do you think he'd let you do so as a pagan comfortably? I don't. I think you'd be the most uneasy pagan who ever lived under such circumstances. Why, then, should you expect a different situation with one of his followers?

Peace.

 

[Lukaris]

Ask her to pray for you.

 

[salida]

****Seriously, I do understand why your mom is concerned. If I were her, I would continually pray for you because this is much more powerful than words alone. She needs to pray in the background not force her views.

Many people believe on things that make them feel better no matter if its true or not. I will leave you with this thought, "Are You a Good Person"? http://www.livingwaters.com/good/ This is why mankind needs a savior as they can't keep the 10 Commandments all the time 100% of the time.

Yes, you have learned the lingo but did you ever really believe it or understand it? Maybe you did but just can't accept the christian message. Plus,a book called, The Evidence That Demands A Verdict by Josh McDowell (evidence about bible that would stand up in a court of law) and The Case for Christ by Lee Strobel (a former atheist).

I'm a christian spiritually first and intellectually second.

 

[jellybean99]

You both need to face this unavoidable fact; your mother's faith has separated you two. Your mother still loves you very much, but she does not understand the difference between witnessing and rhetoric.

A display of Christian virtue (i.e. selfless acts that offer no reward) are examples of witnessing. Trying to persuade someone to follow/believe tenets and creeds is rhetoric and can be very annoying (as you are finding out).

Challenge your mother to witness and tell her what she can do with her rhetoric. This should lead her to pray, and who knows, she may surprise you with the "peace that surpasses all understanding" (John 14:27,28).

That's something that only Christianity can provide; all other peace is based on circumstance.

 

[Zebra1552]

Hola all,

I was wondering if I could get some advice on dealing with a Christian relative. My mom's a very involved Christian and her faith is the centerpoint to her life pretty much. She's retired and I really like seeing her busy and involved in it.

I recently moved back home to help out my folks and to get help myself (detoxing and recovering from drugs) and its been great for the most part. However I am a practicing Pagan (Eclectic Wiccan if curious) and almost a weak agnostic really, and this causes some conflict. My mom seems to want to convert me at every turn. I'm polite because I understand the motivation (I was raised Christian myself) and I appreciate the concern but I don't want to engage in this really.

We've recently started reading some books together on Apologetics. Its been nice at a intellectual exercise level for me but it hasn't been for her. I guess its a mind game for me and a matter of faith for her. What I'm asking for some advice here is how can I gently pry her away from constantly witnessing and challenging me on religious issues? I avoid going into my religious concepts out of respect and I try not to challenge her faith.

I've been out of the church so long I don't really speak the language anymore and don't know how to get her to release the witnessing thing. Any advice would be helpful.

Best,

Blue

Honestly? In your position I would say something to the effect of, "Mom, do you want to push me away for the rest of my life? I'll figure things out on my own."

 

[Zebra1552]

Either that or just convert

 

[Alexrkr]

I like how in a thread about you having problems with witnessing, people witnessed to you.

 

[seashale76]

Ask her to pray for you.

Yes, this might work. Also, be honest with her and let her know that her constant efforts are only turning you off.

 

[EternalSummer]

She has found something that makes her very happy and she wants her son whom she loves more than life itself to have it too.

But it doesn't work that way, and you probably feel your relationship itself is threatened at this point with being taken over by a moving pulpit.

Sit her down and explain to her how you feel. Set some boundaries on your conversations. Explain to her what you can and cannot be comfortable with and then ask her simply to respect your needs in this area from now on. Then comes the hard part. When she crosses that line, you have to be very patient -- she may not mean to be difficult; she is just being herself doing what she's used to -- and explain to her calmly but firmly that she's crossing that line and to please stop.

Make sure she's aware how deeply you value your relationship with her. Help her find other ways to show her love to you that you can both enjoy and feel comfortable with. Do you have any shared interests or hobbies? Things you like to do together? Make sure she knows that in setting boundaries on the religious talk you are seeking to preserve and protect a good relationship with her, not pushing her away.

Hope something here helps.

~/Seth\~

 

[BlueCelt]

Thank you all for your kind responses. They are very appreciated.

Conversion for me is not really a choice I am going to make, it would seem...dishonest to my beliefs and principles I guess. But I really appreciate the ways to discuss ways to move the conversation away from constant witnessing. I'd much rather have our relationship be about mutual care and relationship then conflict over religion.

And thank you for the suggestions to "Evidence that demands a verdict" and "The case for Christ." I have read them already but I do enjoy reading apologetics for the sharpening of the mind. Theology is a big interest of mine.

Again thank you all.