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Problems with parents and depression

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Aya-kun

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Yep, another one. Sorry, everyone ^^;;

Lately I've been feeling really depressed. I've always had depression, ever since I was in 1st grade, but I've always been able to handle it, at least somewhat. But lately I've been out of control, and the depression has gotten really bad.

I never really had friends when I was growing up, but in high school I made some really good friends who helped me to not be so depressed and made me feel like I was worth something. But college year approached and my one best friend was shipped off against her will to a private college up in Michigan (a four-hour drive). I was forced to go to a local college (and yes, I use the word "forced" seriously) by my mother, a school none of my friends went to. I was all right for the most part first semester, but ever since 2nd semester started I've been really, really depressed. I've been crying at least 3 times a week at night, which is something I don't normally do. I don't have any friends at college, and since all my friends are away at different schools I'm almost always alone.

To make matters worse, I don't have a great family situation at home. My older brother fights with me a lot, blaming me for everything that goes wrong with the computer and other household equipments. He also fights with me when he wants something that I wont' let him have. He's even used physical violence a couple of times.

My dad is really quiet and prefers to be left alone, and if I make a mistake or something he gets really exasperated with me and makes me feel like an idiot. He's also said some stuff that's really hurt me, and he's always badmouthing my mom.

My mom is very talkative, but she talks bad about a lot of people, including one of my bestfriends and her family. Also, like my DAd, she kind of ignores me, especially when I try to talk to her. She pretends she's listening, but if it's not something she cares about she pays no attention at all to what I'm saying. She's very forgetful, forgetting promises she made to me, which kind of hurts too, especially if they're important to me.She never says "good job" or praises me, not even when I was a little kid. Some people might not think that's such a big deal, but trust me, it is. She also treats me like a child, not letting me go and see my friends in college because I might get "hit", or not letting me go to Chicago with my friends because I'm going to be "raped". And worst of all, she doesn't like me for who I am. Through out my entire life I've always been different from the rest of my family and she is always trying to conform me and make me be like her.

So I'm stuck in this day-in and day-out. It's so hard because they dont' seem to care about me at all, and I'm the type of person who is very sensative to things like that. I just can't cope anymore, and it doesn't seem like God is listening to me at all anymore. I've prayed and prayed and prayed, but there seems to be this wall between God and me that can't be torn down. It's always been like that, but now it's even worse.

Can someone please help me out?
 

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Aya-kun said:
Yep, another one. Sorry, everyone ^^;;

Lately I've been feeling really depressed. I've always had depression, ever since I was in 1st grade, but I've always been able to handle it, at least somewhat. But lately I've been out of control, and the depression has gotten really bad.

I never really had friends when I was growing up, but in high school I made some really good friends who helped me to not be so depressed and made me feel like I was worth something. But college year approached and my one best friend was shipped off against her will to a private college up in Michigan (a four-hour drive). I was forced to go to a local college (and yes, I use the word "forced" seriously) by my mother, a school none of my friends went to. I was all right for the most part first semester, but ever since 2nd semester started I've been really, really depressed. I've been crying at least 3 times a week at night, which is something I don't normally do. I don't have any friends at college, and since all my friends are away at different schools I'm almost always alone.

To make matters worse, I don't have a great family situation at home. My older brother fights with me a lot, blaming me for everything that goes wrong with the computer and other household equipments. He also fights with me when he wants something that I wont' let him have. He's even used physical violence a couple of times.

My dad is really quiet and prefers to be left alone, and if I make a mistake or something he gets really exasperated with me and makes me feel like an idiot. He's also said some stuff that's really hurt me, and he's always badmouthing my mom.

My mom is very talkative, but she talks bad about a lot of people, including one of my bestfriends and her family. Also, like my DAd, she kind of ignores me, especially when I try to talk to her. She pretends she's listening, but if it's not something she cares about she pays no attention at all to what I'm saying. She's very forgetful, forgetting promises she made to me, which kind of hurts too, especially if they're important to me.She never says "good job" or praises me, not even when I was a little kid. Some people might not think that's such a big deal, but trust me, it is. She also treats me like a child, not letting me go and see my friends in college because I might get "hit", or not letting me go to Chicago with my friends because I'm going to be "raped". And worst of all, she doesn't like me for who I am. Through out my entire life I've always been different from the rest of my family and she is always trying to conform me and make me be like her.

So I'm stuck in this day-in and day-out. It's so hard because they dont' seem to care about me at all, and I'm the type of person who is very sensative to things like that. I just can't cope anymore, and it doesn't seem like God is listening to me at all anymore. I've prayed and prayed and prayed, but there seems to be this wall between God and me that can't be torn down. It's always been like that, but now it's even worse.

Can someone please help me out?

It is often hard to reach someone who is depressed so I'm not sure if I will be able to help you.
As a Bipolar person I do know about depression though and how negative we can experience everything and reading your email gave me the impression that you are in the all negative mode depression can put us in.
You feel that no one cares about you, this is what hurts you the most. I know when my depression brought me this lie I had to fight it with all my strenght. Jesus loves you Aya-kun, even if your father, mother, brother or sister fall short here, He does not. The "wall' between you and God is build by the lies which you believe. E.g. no one cares about me - which brings even more unlovingness inside off you - can you see how you deny your own Lord and Saviour - for He says that He will never leave you nor forsake you. More than likely your family care as well, they just can't know what it is like to live in a depressed state for a prolonged period of time and you experience everything through depressed eyes so to speak.

Anyway I hope I made a bit of sense here. Try to fight this horrible sense that you are unloved and in faith claim the love of Jesus and you will see the wall between you and God crumble like the walls of Jericho once did.


God's blessing with this.:pray:
 
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pockleberry

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Feeling that everyone hates u is one of the hardest things to cope with. I have it a slightly weird way in my head because i refuse to accept that anyone could like me im unloveable as my councellor puts it well she says that this is just whats i feel but im not so sure. The bast way to help urself when others wont is to focuss on the fact that god loves us completly and amazingly in a way that no one else can compare to hes never gonna forget about us or hate us if we do something wrong hes just gonna love us always....its not always an easy thing to take in but if u can it will help u...Don't no if anything i've said is actually any help at all but i hope it is and if i can be of any help even just someone to talk to when ur feeling low feel free to PM me Susanna x
 
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