probably every possible trigger.........I am gonna be brave and post more of my story

[HeWalksWithMe]

ever since i was a little child i was abused, physically sexually and emotionally/mentally, the incestuous abuse was perpetrated by my mother at first, then her friends. I was tortured many ways in my life and It started very early in life, most of it didnt end until i was 17 or 18, i want to be vague and leave thing out i am just scared. I was wipped, burned, forced to endure hundreds of enima's against my will, beaten until i passed out, thrown down stairs, been tied to beds and sexually abused been given drugs to make me more easy to abuse, i was just a kid, i aske myself why, why did those people hurt me, why? what did I do to deserve that?in foster homes I was tortured physically, mentally and sexually abused,

there is so much more, i just feel sick so i need to go to bed, i

 

[Mr.Cheese]

.

 

[UnitynLove]

Beauty For Ashes

YouTube - Broadcast Yourself.

Survivors Of Abuse
YouTube - TogetherInWorship's Channel

Emotional Healing
YouTube - TogetherInWorship's Channel

 

[One day at a time]

Am praying for you!! Giving you big hugs ((((hugs))))

 

[bubblefish]

(if ok?). Well done for sharing that and thank you. That is an amazing step you just took, of even mentioning just a portion of it.

You definitely did not deserve any of it. No-one deserves to be hurt like that, especially children.

Please try to take care of yourself and continue posting when you feel comfortable doing so. You are doing really well.

 

[BlessEwe]

I grew up with violence, but brother I am so sorry you had to go through something so horrible. Having children of my own now I just can't understand how someone could hurt a innocent being.
If you don't mind me asking what your relationship with your mother is like now?
Have you seen a professional to work through these things?

 

[txgal]

I'm married to a man that had a similar past. There is alot to work through, and there are things he does and reactions he has that aren't fair to ME.. BUT, through it all and with the Lord, we are working towards a complete healing.

So very brave of you to 'speak' those words ..

I'm praying for you, my friend, and understand (from a little different perspective)

**hugs**

 

[HeWalksWithMe]

I grew up with violence, but brother I am so sorry you had to go through something so horrible. Having children of my own now I just can't understand how someone could hurt a innocent being.
If you don't mind me asking what your relationship with your mother is like now?
Have you seen a professional to work through these things?

I cant speak to her, if I see her or hear her voice i want to throw up and it is very hard for me and will mess with my head for days even weeks after.

i am starting counseling in a few weeks, I am very scared.

 

[BlessEwe]

I am so very glad to hear that you are seeking help. I didn't have anything like you went through but I did see a lot of violence and pain. The process of getting it out is painful but working through these things can be healing as well. You deserve a good life. Are you seeing a Psychiatrist, or a Physiologist?

 

[HeWalksWithMe]

I am so very glad to hear that you are seeking help. I didn't have anything like you went through but I did see a lot of violence and pain. The process of getting it out is painful but working through these things can be healing as well. You deserve a good life. Are you seeing a Psychiatrist, or a Physiologist?

neither, lol, he is a counselor, he has a PhD, and a few other letters behind his name, but he is a Christian counselor that has more years of experience than I have even been alive, he knows how to help people who have been severely abused, which is what i need, because I guess you can say I am not the average survivor, I have been through more than I could ever post here, some things are just to painful and degrading to post.

 

[bubblefish]

It is great that you are seeking help, even though it is hard. I hope it all goes well!

 

[HeWalksWithMe]

Feeling suckey right now, wish i had someone to talk to

 

[bubblefish]

I know that I am a bit late in replying, but if you ever need to talk please feel free to PM me or I can give you my MSN if you would like it. I am online most days and am always happy to listen or help where I can.

Hope you are doing ok. Thinking of you.

 

[Criada]

Praying for you, sweetie.
Talking about it is so very hard... you are so brave posting what you have here... I hope that will make talking about it a little bit easier when the time comes.
Just take one day at a time and be very gentle with yourself, sweetie.

*gentle hugs* (if hugs are ok?)

 

[HeWalksWithMe]

for now the counseling I was going to get is on hold, I found out I dont have enough money for it, people are never honest up front about cost are they?

too bad, it was right around the corner from my apartment too, i could have walked there

 

[bubblefish]

Thats horrible Is there any kind of free counselling centre nearby? Or can you research a bit? I know that there are some centres that will charge based on income or have support plans for people who can not afford the full cost.

 

[dariya]

Isaiah 61:7
Because you got a double dose of trouble and more than your share of contemt, your inheritance in the land will be doubled and your joy go on forever......

It's many people like you.....Jesus wonts to heal you so you can help others...

 

[HeWalksWithMe]

Thank you dariya,

by the way, I LOVE your picture of the snow, where was that picture taken? (if you don't mind me asking) looks like there's a lake in the background, beautiful picture.

 

[dariya]

I took picture from this forum : )) Beautiful isn't?

Do you like photography? It seems that you have talent for that ....

I hope that you will be ok....
Your case remind me of mine childhood...I grow up, not knowing what is love, mercy, kind word, forgiveness....
And I became women with lots of shame and guilt inside me.....
I had LOTS of problems with myself, people, life....One day I decide that I wont to be happy and to deal with all this...
Start to pray, fasting and now God give me psychologist how wants to help me for free!!!!
Now I'm doing fine, recovering from my past, starting to feel happy....

Is rally brave from you that you started to speak about your past...That is BIG step for you....
But first GOD....and you will change, your life will change.....

I will pray for you.....
Like i wrote, is many people like you that understand you and wiling to help

 

[HeWalksWithMe]

thank you