Probably a stupid question.

[MissRowboat]

I want to make an appointment to see a psychologist or psychiatrist.

But, to do that, especially to see the psychiatrist, I would probably need to inform my parents, since I am on their insurance, and if I was prescribed an antidepressant, it would probably be covered by their insurance.

The hard thing is telling my parents. I feel like admitting to them that I have problems such as depression..I feel like that I would be letting them down.

So, I guess my question is...Is there a way for me to see a psychiatrist without my parents knowing?

Thanks.

 

[.chrys.]

That's not a stupid question at all. It's not one I have an answer for, but it's not a stupid question by any means.

Depression is such a misunderstood and overly misjudged illness. Quite often, it is a "no fault" illness. Many times people use the analogy that it is every bit as much as a disease as is diabetes or cancer. Those are things that don't carry the stigma of blame/fault. And those are the kind of diseases that people aren't ashamed to have.

Why depression is viewed so poorly is beyond me. From experience in dealing with it, however, I do understand that so many people who don't suffer from it often have a difficulty comprehending that it is a disease like any other. No shame involved!

When one family member suffers from the disease of depression, the whole family is affected by it. There is no better advice I can give you than to get the family involved in therapy as well.

The more loved ones in your life that can begin to understand your suffering, the better! It is an educational process that should not be ignored.

Bless you today,
~Witness

 

[Silver-winged Flyer]

I definitely think you should tell your parents, you would not be letting them down at all. Depression is not your fault. You might have been behaving differently because you are depressed and now they can understand your behaviour better. As parents they would want to know.

 

[Catherineanne]

I want to make an appointment to see a psychologist or psychiatrist.

But, to do that, especially to see the psychiatrist, I would probably need to inform my parents, since I am on their insurance, and if I was prescribed an antidepressant, it would probably be covered by their insurance.

The hard thing is telling my parents. I feel like admitting to them that I have problems such as depression..I feel like that I would be letting them down.

So, I guess my question is...Is there a way for me to see a psychiatrist without my parents knowing?

Thanks.

I am not sure what the process is in the US, but in the UK any referral to either psychiatrist or psychologist has to come from the GP (family doctor.) If it is the same in the US, then I would say speak to him or her in confidence first of all.

It is one thing to say you want a psychiatrist, it is another to tell your parents that your doctor has agreed with you that you need to do so.

Also, the doctor may be able to advise on whether you would need to go through your insurance route. There may be other options open to you, and you certainly are entitled to privacy on this, until the point where you want your parents to be informed.

Not everyone has an ideal relationship even with the best of parents, and you are right, imo, to do this alone to start with, to save complications.

 

[Catherineanne]

I definitely think you should tell your parents, you would not be letting them down at all. Depression is not your fault. You might have been behaving differently because you are depressed and now they can understand your behaviour better. As parents they would want to know.

Certainly they would want to know; we all would. But they have no right to do so.

Each one of us is fully entitled to privacy in relation to our own health care. We can choose to waive that privacy, but it is still our right.

My 13 year old d has the right to see our GP at any time, without my being informed, and to have treatment without my consent, as long as the GP is satisfied that she is able to give her own informed consent. They prefer parents to accompany under 16s, but it is not necessary in law. The US may be different for such a young age, but 18 is certainly old enough for confidentiality. You need tell your parents nothing at all at this age in relation to your health care.

 

[Silver-winged Flyer]

If the only reason you don't want to tell your parents is because you don't want to let them down then you should really tell them. If you have a good relationship with them then it will be easier to explain to them your situation. The fact that you are wanting to get help means that you are trying to do something about your depression. They might be more hurt if you didn't tell them.

 

[FrauleinElsa]

I want to make an appointment to see a psychologist or psychiatrist.

But, to do that, especially to see the psychiatrist, I would probably need to inform my parents, since I am on their insurance, and if I was prescribed an antidepressant, it would probably be covered by their insurance.

The hard thing is telling my parents. I feel like admitting to them that I have problems such as depression..I feel like that I would be letting them down.

So, I guess my question is...Is there a way for me to see a psychiatrist without my parents knowing?

Thanks.

I know where you're coming from. I have been to see a counselor and my mother hasn't approved. It would be nice if you could tell your parents, however you are legally and adult which means that you're not technically under an obligation to tell anyone. I think it would be a good idea, but if you feel that it's just not possible, then I wouldn't. There are ways of paying for it other than insurance. If you have job that could help. Also, I was able to pay for it myself without my mom knowing because I was referred by a pastor to a woman who attended the same church. In my case, I got a discount because I was referred by the pastor. That could work for you. Why not going to a pastor or priest and see if they can refer you to someone? That way, you could pay with check, or cash and your parents might not even need to know. I'm sorry that you're in such a difficult spot. But keep in mind that it's not your fault and having problems means that you are real and it's not letting anyone down. I hope that are able to tell your parents. If they found out that you were seeing a psychiatrist or counselor, they might feel hurt that you didn't trust them. Just give your parents a chance, they may surprise you.

 

[Ginny]

Certainly they would want to know; we all would. But they have no right to do so.

Unless she is benefiting from her insurance that her parents are paying for. They will find out anyway when they receive the Explanation of benefits in the mail or the approved referral form.

You need tell your parents nothing at all at this age in relation to your health care.

They will find out anyway when they receive the Explanation of benefits in the mail or the approved referral form from the insurance company or PCP.

I feel if someone is paying for something that you partake of, they have every right to know...otherwise they can pay 100% out of pocket for the sole benefit of privacy. But like I said, regardless of her not wanting her parents to know...they will find out anyway.

 

[everlast]

Well seeing as it will be covered by your parents insurance its best to let them know ahead of time whats going on, look at it this way, if you keep it from your parents it might end up becoming this long played out secret that will only cause unhealthy energies, your going to have to create excuses and various stories to get around your wereabouts or in the long run it might become this dreaded surprize if when it is discovered, it all depends on your relationship with your family as others have mentioned, I believe it would be best to open up to your parents about what ills you so that they can be by your side when things get tough, dont be ashamed at all, let them know your feelings. In the end the choice is yours but dont let depression slowly grow, you are already fighting it just by coming on this forum and letting us know. God Bless.

 

[MissRowboat]

Whenever I act oddly, the first thing my mother does is ask me, "Are you depressed?!" and just the way she says it is so...Condenscending.

I'm the only child my parent's have that hasn't been to therapy in some form or the other (my youngest went when he was 5-10, and my other brother/the middle child is currently going). They always tell me that I'm the only one that turned out right, even though my brothers are still growing up, they seem to think that I'm always going to be the one on top of it all. I feel like if I tell them, in their minds they will feel like failures as parents, and I don't want that, seeing as how this has nothing to do with them or my brothers.

Thanks for the advice guys

 

[pockleberry]

Don't let your parents saying that stop you from getting help if you feel you need it, for a long time I tried to always be the nice 'good' child to make up for all the problems my sister had but doing that never helps in the long run, It might be hard for your parents but they will probably understand after a while and if your brothers have been in therepy already then they might know the process and so understand better...

 

[Catherineanne]

I feel if someone is paying for something that you partake of, they have every right to know.

The law is not about what you or I feel. The law is about what is legal, and in law an 18 year old is entitled to privacy in relation to their own health care.

 

[Ginny]

The law is not about what you or I feel. The law is about what is legal, and in law an 18 year old is entitled to privacy in relation to their own health care.

You are right.

Unfortunately, that is still besides the point....No matter what the law is, and no matter how private someone wants to be...the people paying for the insurance still have access to referrals, EOB's, etc..so, hey, by law no one has to tell their parents. You are right about that. But by law, the insurance company does not have the right to withhold records for insurance the customer is paying for. Perhaps if the parents went to the Dr. they could not get the files, but sooner or later this information will be accidentally stumbled upon from the insurance company.

So... what does it matter what the law says when the parents will find out anyway from the insurance company...and can.... and will?