Prioritizing Behavior Changes

[NeedingMercy]

Howdy All!

I'm looking at a bunch of different behaviors that are caused/influenced by my Borderline. I realize that the Borderline says, "Try to fix them all NOW." But I also realize that this is not really healthy or doable.

So, I thought I'd throw out this question, how do you figure out which behaviors to work on and in which order? For example, do you work on the most destructive or do you work on the ones that you have the easiest in order to get a "win"?

I realize that with the black/white thinking, I've got to be really, really careful in order to approach this carefully. I'd appreciate any advice/thoughts.

Godspeed,
Ed

 

[madison1101]

The first behavior my therapist had me work on was my drinking. He would not address another till the drinking was stopped. Then, he addressed the ones that are harmful to myself, like binge eating, or cutting. He also addressed the ones that were destructive to my marriage, when I was married.

The best person to discuss this with would be your therapist.

Good luck.

 

[lmarie23]

Ed,

My counselor and friends have helped me realize that my two most harmful behaviors are linked together, so I have to address them at the same time. When I work on the one, and it gets better, the other gets worse. I fall into them for the same reasons: anger with myself, poor self-image, etc. So sometimes you have to address more than one behavior at once. I agree, though, that you have to deal with the behavior(s) that's most harmful to yourself first, and go with your counselor's discretion.

I have other problems that I think would be easier to take control of, like how I sleep and eat irregularly, but I'm focusing on the these behaviors that are most harmful to me first...

Being borderline, I want to fix them all at once, or just give up, but I know that that's not really practical or a good idea...

Oh, another thought, sometimes by addressing the thought patterns and what my counselor calls UGB's (Ungodly beliefs) underlying the behaviors you can address the root of several behaviors at once. Of course, this is part of therapy too.

Lynne