preteens and vulgar language

[tiffyof6ntwins]

my 12 yr old has recently gotten a tongue for use of unacceptable language. I know at that age its commen for them to be "mouthy" but this is far more then that. what would be an appropriate punishment for cussing at this age? we have done groundings and discussing why these words are unacceptable and she understands why but continues to use them. Any help for other ways of handling this situation, other forms of helpful punishments, any suggestions at all, please!

 

[Spock49]

It's coming from the influence of her peers and possible movies that she has seen. Until the root is removed, it will continue no matter what you do.

 

[ServantJohn]

my 12 yr old has recently gotten a tongue for use of unacceptable language. I know at that age its commen for them to be "mouthy" but this is far more then that. what would be an appropriate punishment for cussing at this age? we have done groundings and discussing why these words are unacceptable and she understands why but continues to use them. Any help for other ways of handling this situation, other forms of helpful punishments, any suggestions at all, please!

First and foremost, she needs to know that you love her. Ask God to show you what needs your daughter may have that peers are doing a better job of meeting than you are. Do you spend time with her? Do ya'll go out on weekends or just have Mom and Daughter times? She is going to try to please whoever meets her needs, and she is going to act like whoever she looks up to.

Out of a heart of love and concern, you may want to take away her phone priviledges or cell phone if she uses vulgar language. That logically ties the punishment (an opportunity to communicate) with the crime (a misuse of communication). It may also come across as a "reasonable punishment" so you might not have to deal with her feeling the punishment is much harsher than the offense.

In closing, be consistent. Don't let it slide a few times and then take the phone away. Take the phone away or implement whatever other punishment immediately every single time. She needs to know that if she does such and such, the punishment WILL happen. If it doesn't happen every time, she may "gamble" hoping this time you will be "nice".

I am praying for you and your daughter.

 

[tiffyof6ntwins]

thank you servant! yes i have taken away cell phone and computer privilages.. also when she starts up i tell her im adding 1 more day without them.. which any 12 yr old girl think the world will end without their cell phones lol.. so far she has been really watching her self.. i have also been restricting her to only hanging out with her friends at my house so i know who she is hanging out with..

yes we do things alone being she is my oldest and 12 seems to be an odd age for every girl! but with 4 other siblings at home , i am sometimes torn different ways.. Im a single mom so there is only so much i can handle in a day with working full time and caring for 3 kids in school and 2 others ( twins) who will be starting kindergarten this fall.. i lead a busy chaotic life.

 

[Mayzoo]

Maybe have her increase her vocabulary by assigning her a certain number of words that she must use a thesaurus to find a specific amount of synonyms for--then she must use all the words in a written sentence to demonstrate she grasps their meanings. Not words that actually substitute for the curse word, but any words you can think of to increase her vocabulary. For a bit of fun for the two of you, you could even try to keep track of the words you assign and try to make the synonyms a part of conversation elsewhere with her.

You can explain it something like this......since cursing makes one sound ignorant as it appears they could not think of a more acceptable word, you feel it is a valuable and timely for her to begin expanding her vocabulary so she will sound less ignorant in the long run. (Make certain she understands the true meaning of ignorant if you use this word. Your goal is NOT to make her feel dumb. Explain it means uneducated which is something entirely within her control.)