Presbyterian With No Way to Join Reformed Fellowship

[Sheep77]

This has haunted me a long time, and I can't think of any way to set everything back to normal. Bear with me through the story:

I was raised Southern Baptist, and at 17 started learning theology to learn why I was Baptist and not another denomination. I eventually ended up accepting Reformed Theology as Scriptural and joined a small PCA church that seemed really traditionally Presbyterian. I was there for 3 years faithfully following everything they taught, but ended up falling away at 20 due to the New Age movement. I was completely unprepared to be able to defend myself against it's deceptive misinterpretations of Holy Scripture, and left the church and was honest with the elders about why I was leaving, as I didn't want to be secretive or get others under that church to follow my beliefs at the time.

3 years later, I came back to my senses and was truly repentant, and cut out all the evil from my life. I was so happy to return home, and likened it to the Prodigal Son returning home, with the father joyfully accepting his son back. That's not at all what happened: I was under discipline for failure to uphold my vows, and barred from communion. Not a single person at the church wanted to be seen near me, and the elders blamed me for their son falling into New Age ideas (he left it behind quickly, but the bitterness was still there). I didn't cause it, and didn't advocate anyone to accept anything I believed: I kept it to myself and the elders.

After a few weeks there with the most uncomfortable and stilted reception they gave communion, and this is when they told me about be barred from communion: the elder told me, then passed over me. I left the church immediately and balled my eyes out. I knew Jesus had forgiven me, and He longed for me to be forgiven here too. I liken it to the Adulterous Woman 'Let he that is without sin cast the first stone.' I left and never went back, and never could join a Reformed or Presbyterian Church again because they will not accept my membership because of my old church.

I then began to see Protestantism itself as inherently flawed. This was a heart-wrenching time in my life, and I was alone and confused about what to do. I started to study church history, read the saints, and joined a Catholic RCIA class (Roman Catholic Initiation for Adults). They welcomed me lovingly and seemed more Christlike in my eyes than my Presbyterian Church was. I didn't finish the RCIA class because I started to realize Catholicism is no longer what once was: they betrayed their own traditions for postmodernism, and were told to submit to an antichrist in Pope Francis, and I just couldn't do it.

I left for Eastern Orthodoxy, and nearly finished the conversion process, and left after I realized that all the traditions the Orthodox held were not Scriptural, but stunk of paganism. I became a member of no church but Christ's body, but held to my Reformed convictions yet again. I want to go to a faithful church again, but I would never be able to partake of communion again unless I went to a non-Reformed church, and I refuse to believe that what that former church did was charitible, loving, or Christlike, I love, cherish, and make Christ the center and end of my life, finding forgiveness in Him, but man-made traditions make it near impossible to ever have proper fellowship again with like-minded brethren, that I may not forsake the assembling of ourselves' together.

I'm torn and broken: Christ has healed me, but men refuse to accept Christ's judgement on this matter. Please help me to be able to find the proper way to overcome this sad reality I now live in

 

[Michie]

I really do not understand why you are being barred from communion if you repented and returned back to the fold. But one reality is you are never going to find a perfect Church that will conform to your views on everything. The point of the church is to conform your views to Christ and their traditions and practice. Prayers for you on your journey.

 

[Evan Jellicoe]

Did the elders of the PCA church have any long conversations with you after you returned to that church? Did they explain their thinking to you? The circumstances you describe seem somewhat irregular for a church ruling body, and I am wondering if they gave you the courtesy of explaining it.

 

[Sheep77]

Did the elders of the PCA church have any long conversations with you after you returned to that church? Did they explain their thinking to you? The circumstances you describe seem somewhat irregular for a church ruling body, and I am wondering if they gave you the courtesy of explaining it.

They listened to me tell my story of how I was deceived and repented, but they didn't warn me of what was to follow.

 

[Evan Jellicoe]

They listened to me tell my story of how I was deceived and repented, but they didn't warn me of what was to follow.

So. . .
Did the pastor (or another elder) tell you that you were (or weren't) forgiven?
Did he say that there was anything that the Session thought you still needed to do or repent of?
Was there any mention made that you were not yet eligible to receive communion, or was it a surprise to you when you were passed over? If you were told, were you given a reason why?

 

[Sheep77]

At communion is when I was told, and no, they didn't tell me what more I needed to repent of: I gather it was all because I left and was deceived for a period. I was 20 at that period, and being duped is not outside the realm of possibility when you're young and naive

 

[Michie]

At communion is when I was told, and no, they didn't tell me what more I needed to repent of: I gather it was all because I left and was deceived for a period. I was 20 at that period, and being duped is not outside the realm of possibility when you're young and naive

Well you need to discuss this with them and see what the issue is.

 

[Evan Jellicoe]

At communion is when I was told, and no, they didn't tell me what more I needed to repent of: I gather it was all because I left and was deceived for a period. I was 20 at that period, and being duped is not outside the realm of possibility when you're young and naive

There definitely appears to be a communication problem.

 

[Evan Jellicoe]

Sheep77, check your private messages.

 

[SoldierOfTheKing]

Have you considered an Anglican congregation? They're theologically broad enough that they would allow communicate members with Reformed theological views.

 

[chevyontheriver]

I started to study church history, read the saints, and joined a Catholic RCIA class (Roman Catholic Initiation for Adults). They welcomed me lovingly and seemed more Christlike in my eyes than my Presbyterian Church was. I didn't finish the RCIA class because I started to realize Catholicism is no longer what once was: they betrayed their own traditions for postmodernism, and were told to submit to an antichrist in Pope Francis, and I just couldn't do it.

It's Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults FYI. And actually designed for those never before baptized. It is useful for others, as in your case. But it is unevenly taught. Sorry for your experience.

I'm torn and broken: Christ has healed me, but men refuse to accept Christ's judgement on this matter. Please help me to be able to find the proper way to overcome this sad reality I now live in.

I am reminded of the long periods of penance for various sins in the early Church. In cases like murder, a penance might go until one is on their deathbed. Other penances lasted for months or even years. Yet even there, you were notified of it. And the PCA doesn't even have the theological room for the idea of penances. So I don't get it why they would put you on double secret probation.

If you are a firm believer in Reformed theology you might go back to that PCA congregation and inquire what they were doing without telling you. Maybe it will make sense. Or not. My opinion is that if that doesn't work you should give Catholicism another look. Many of us are steeped in the traditions of the faith, and are none too keen with the various unforced blunders of pope Francis, and pray for a holy and faithful successor. It's a bit painful at the moment but it continues to be a good place for those steeped in history.

 

[Sheep77]

I had, but I'm Presbyterian, and believe there's too much Catholic traditions retained in their liturgy

 

[PloverWing]

Have you considered a Reformed group other than PCA? PCUSA comes to mind, but there are multiple Reformed denominations out there, some of which may have less severe disciplinary rules than what you're experienced.

 

[Albion]

The answer to this seems simple enough. Find a different Reformed congregation--and a different Reformed denomination if necessary.

Just because one Reformed church has behaved this way is no reason for you to give up your faith.

 

[Sheep77]

I have, but I'm looking for a conservative Reformed church, but they all know each other, so if one says beware, they all will bar me in my experience

 

[Albion]

I have, but I'm looking for a conservative Reformed church, but they all know each other, so if one says beware, they all will bar me in my experience

Are you certain of that...or is it just something you fear will happen?

The Reformed churches are not some sort of cult and should always welcome the return of a prodigal son. The most conservative of them--the PCA and the OPC being the best known--may have congregations that take the view yours did, but I do not believe that such a response is characteristic of them all. Of course, I recognize that not every city has a congregation of the EPC, for instance, but few are without a PCUSA presence.

 

[Sheep77]

How liberal is the PCUSA? And we do have an EPC church here, but when I visited, and told them I wanted to go to Covenant College they warned me they were 'Calvinist' implying they didn't even understand Presbyterian ideas of how salvation works

 

[Sheep77]

I know that, I've talked to PCA churches in the area as well as the one OPC one

 

[Michie]

I have, but I'm looking for a conservative Reformed church, but they all know each other, so if one says beware, they all will bar me in my experience

This is why you need to be direct in communicating with them. There are obviously some wires crossed somewhere.

 

[Albion]

...but when I visited, and told them I wanted to go to Covenant College they warned me they were 'Calvinist' implying they didn't even understand Presbyterian ideas of how salvation works

??? Would you explain that to us a bit more?

It seems to me that by them saying "We're Calvinist" it means everything TULIP, no?