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Preparing for marriage
- Thread starter Glorianna
- Start date
LiberatedChick
Contributor
Discussion, discussion and more discussion. You need to talk about all the things that will affect your married life and even some of the things that won't. Just generally need to find out the other persons views on things. The main things would be children (do you want them?, how many?, how soon after marriage?, will someone be staying home to look after them? etc etc), finances (do you want a joint account?, will you have separate savings account?, will you both work?, how much will you save each month?, what kind of things will the savings be used for?, will you ever buy things on credit or only spend what you have in the bank? etc etc) and home (what kind of home do you want to live in?, what kind of place do you want to live?, what things are important to have nearby?, etc etc).
These are just some examples of the kind of things you may want to discuss. There's probably others that are more individual to your relationship but the main idea would be to find out the other persons views on things so there's no big surprises later on.
These are just some examples of the kind of things you may want to discuss. There's probably others that are more individual to your relationship but the main idea would be to find out the other persons views on things so there's no big surprises later on.
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As much as it is about the other person and where they stand on certain things, know who you are. Know your strengths and weaknesses and be willing to be vulnerable about them.
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Zoomer
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- Jun 29, 2004
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I agree with discussion as being very important. You want to address most (if not all) the issues that you can think of before marriage. Something that helps is premarital counseling.
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Zoomer said:
That's definitely a great idea. My fiance and I will be getting premarital counselling.
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Redguard
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- Oct 20, 2004
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I don't think you ever completely learn... but the earlier you start the better.
I think it starts with analyzing your behaviour around those who you're close to... or looking at the arguments you've had with your fiance in the past and thinking of the good and bad ways you've dealt with them.
The reason why a lot of arguments escalate into blown-out fights is because we never want to admit our own errors... we have too much pride... we always want to place the blame on our spouse because we're perfect and they're obviously the ones who have a defect.
It's all about looking inside ourselves I guess... if that makes sense... I'm sleepy.
I think it starts with analyzing your behaviour around those who you're close to... or looking at the arguments you've had with your fiance in the past and thinking of the good and bad ways you've dealt with them.
The reason why a lot of arguments escalate into blown-out fights is because we never want to admit our own errors... we have too much pride... we always want to place the blame on our spouse because we're perfect and they're obviously the ones who have a defect.
It's all about looking inside ourselves I guess... if that makes sense... I'm sleepy.
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searle29678
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starelda said:
I think that is very good advice. There is a book out there and I don't know the name of it but it is something to the effect of 100 questions you should ask each other before getting married. There are some things that you just can't compromise on and you need to find out before you ever even set a date. Such as kids and whether or not you want them, religion, core values, things like that....You can save a lot of heartache by dealing with that stuff right from the beginning.
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waitingforwonderful
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s Redguard. I super adore you for this. hee.
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LiberatedChick
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Kegel exercises is the name of a pelvic floor exercise, named after Dr. Kegel who discovered the exercise. It basically involves contracting and relaxing the muscles that are attached to the pelvic bone (To find which muscles try stopping and starting the flow of urine, the muscles you need to contract to stop peeing are the ones this exercise is centred on). Doing this repeatedly throughout the day strengthens the muscles and allows you to gain proper control over them. Therefore making sex more pleasurable.
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