Premarital Sex Issue--please help!!

[my_redemption]

Alright, so my girlfriend and I have had premarital sex before many times, but we have been in a long distance relationship for over 5 months now. We've talked about no more till marriage, but now I am going to see her in a month or so, before I get shipped to Afghanistan for a year, and we both have a very strong urge to have sex, and we're unclear whether we should or not. Any enlightment?

 

[K9_Trainer]

Honestly, I think the Bible is pretty clear about what God thinks of premarital sex. There's numerous Bible verses. 1 Corinthians 7:2 "2 But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband." Perhaps the most clear and to the point verse that God intends sex for marriage, "3 It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality" Found in 1 Thessalonians 4:3. And another found in Hebrews 13:4 "Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral".


http://bible.logos.com/passage/niv/Colossians 3.5

 

[katautumn]

It is true that once you've been intimate with someone it's almost impossible to stop. In a committed relationship, once you've been as close to your partner as you'll ever be it is really difficult to backtrack. When you see your girlfriend for the first time in several months you will, obviously, feel the urge. And you may even give in and excuse it by saying you're going to be going to Afghanistan soon and *this* will be the last time unless you get married.

The issue is that this is obviously something you feel strongly about. If you and your girlfriend have resolved to abstain until marriage then there is nothing wrong with that. As simple and stupid as this sounds, the best way to stay the course is simply not have sex. Of course, this is easier said than done. There are ways you can alleviate the temptation. Don't spend time together in places where you normally have sex. Don't be all cuddled up in a bed in an empty house or behind closed doors. Don't go parking in a remote location after dark. Basically don't place yourselves in a situation to where you could easily have sex if you have both mutually decided you desire to wait.

 

[katautumn]

Sorry, double post.

 

[Beechwell]

For what reasons exactly do you want to avoid sex til marriage? Is it to save yourself and make sex once you are married more special? That may be a good reason, although it seems to me that your time in Afghanistan should be enough for that goal.
If it is because of theological reasons, then I know of now convincing christian rule outlawing sex before marriage. Those quotes by K9 Trainer only talk about "sexual immorality" which unmarried sex isn't necessarily. There are both Christians who have no problem with sex before marriage and those who say it is wrong. What is true for you and your girlfriend I cannot say. That is something that the two of you need to decide for yourself. Just don't let someone else's conscience make that decision for you. Use your own.

 

[Luther073082]

For what reasons exactly do you want to avoid sex til marriage? Is it to save yourself and make sex once you are married more special? That may be a good reason, although it seems to me that your time in Afghanistan should be enough for that goal.
If it is because of theological reasons, then I know of now convincing christian rule outlawing sex before marriage. Those quotes by K9 Trainer only talk about "sexual immorality" which unmarried sex isn't necessarily. There are both Christians who have no problem with sex before marriage and those who say it is wrong. What is true for you and your girlfriend I cannot say. That is something that the two of you need to decide for yourself. Just don't let someone else's conscience make that decision for you. Use your own.

The problem is that if you look at the greek, the word that is translated into sexual immorality. . . Pornea specifically means all of the following, fornication, homosexuality, beastiality, adultry, incest, etc etc.

On top of that other verses indicate that sex is intended only in marriage. In fact Paul at one point talks of marriage as a way of avoiding sexual immorality.

As far as what other Christians believe, I put no stock into that. "Christians" have been using scripture for a long time to try to defend their bad behavior. Scripture was used to back the crusades, slavery, mistreatment of Jews, and even divorce. (See King Henry VIII)

Just because someone tried to use them to back these things does not mean that scripture entirely backs them.

 

[HolmesSPH]

If something happened to you in Afghanistan do you want your last meeting with you fiance to be sexual or righteous?

 

[help_the_lord]

Welp if you were curious what Jesus would think about the issue you should look no further than revelations chapter 2 verse 14, where hes talking about the problem he has with Pergamos he says they're doing a good job and what not however he has a problem with them comitting fornication which if you look it up you'll see it means sex between two unmarried people... on that note I just recently fell into the same boat as you minus the afghanistan thing as I don't wish to make Jesus/God angry so I have to obstain from sexual relations with my long time girlfriend.. its not easy but it's definitely worth it.. just pray to god for help in resisting the temptation and you should be golden.. on a side note as posted above can you imagine if you did end up doing it then for some unfortunate chance perished while in afghanistan, would you like that to be one of the last things God remembers you doing when your brought back for judgement day? I know I wouldn't.

 

[GloryOfTheLamb]

It'd be a great idea to not have sex with her

 

[HisLittleHazelnut]

Read the Statement of Purpose for this forum... I believe this topic is not allowed to even be discussed because of the controversial nature of it even among Christians.

 

[SuperPhil]

Song of Solomon 3:5 (New International Version)

 5 Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you 
       by the gazelles and by the does of the field: 
       Do not arouse or awaken love 
       until it so desires.

The woman here is saying don't awaken the desires and beauty of marriage until you are ready.

Saving sex for marriage is VERY special, it magnifies Christ grace in you!

 

[Silvershade]

Sex can equal pregnancy.

The reason it's in God's plan to wait is because marriage before sex places a solid foundation of a family if a little one was to come along... simple huh?

-Silvershade-

 

[KnightForChrist82]

Brother I am struggling with the same thing with my girlfriend. Its very hard! lol But yeah we are waiting. We have gotten real close to each other to the point where we are saying "I love you" and have kissed each other, but we are fully committed to obeying the Lord and living in His will.

My gf and I just pray everyday. For the relationship, for our challenges we may face as a couple, and each other and it helps. Good luck and God bless!