Preferring the single life, but having those "moments"?

[Jonaitis]

It is strange, for most of the time I don't think too much about being in a relationship as they seem like a passing thought whenever someone brings it up. But then there are those moments that occasionally, if not rarely, come around where I begin to contemplate and yearn for it. What is up with that? When those moment come, it is like I develop a desperate feeling inside of wanting to go out of my way and be flirtatious. But normally, such feelings are dead and not so compulsive and I could care less about it.

Do you experience this same thing?

 

[icxn]

Virginity wouldn't be such a great virtue (Matthew 19:11-12, 1 Corinthians 7:38), if no struggle... violence (Matthew 11:12) was involved in maintaining it.

 

[Kenny'sID]

I think we all want that naturally, IMO, it's just one of the things God indwells within us to be sure we multiplied.

And it's true, we are told it is best to be single for the Christian, if we can contain our desires, however, the want for sex, and a partner still remains in us.

The reason we don't think about it when we are single is because we put it out of mind so it doesn't mess us up, as in making us so anxious that is becomes a mild to a serious problem until it finally happens. But even then, we make the ultimate choice so it still may never happen.

That's one theory anyway.

 

[MariaJLM]

Virginity wouldn't be such a great virtue (Matthew 19:11-12, 1 Corinthians 7:38), if no struggle... violence (Matthew 11:12) was involved in maintaining it.

For some of us it's not a struggle at all, but our natural state of being. Matthew 19:12 covers that.

 

[Jonaitis]

I think we all want that naturally, IMO, it's just one of the things God indwells within us to be sure we multiplied.

And it's true, we are told it is best to be single for the Christian, if we can contain our desires, however, the want for sex, and a partner still remains in us.

The reason we don't think about it when we are single is because we put it out of mind so it doesn't mess us up, as in making us so anxious that is becomes a mild to a serious problem until it finally happens. But even then, we make the ultimate choice so it still may never happen.

That's one theory anyway.

Yeah, you are right that it is natural.

You see with my experience it isn't so much sexual as it is the desire for companionship. Just to be with someone is the passion, regardless of any drive. I feel that way right now...

 

[Jonaitis]

For some of us it's not a struggle at all, but our natural state of being. Matthew 19:12 covers that.

I don't normally struggle with this, since I am pretty much an extreme introvert. But there are these times where I begin to want to go out and engage someone out of some strange passion for companionship. I become an extrovert in no time

 

[MariaJLM]

I don't normally struggle with this, since I am pretty much an extreme introvert. But there are these times where I begin to want to go out and engage someone out of some strange passion for companionship. I become an extrovert in no time

Sometimes I want companionship, but just that. Never sex. I'm introverted too and have very few friends, but even introverts can get lonely.

 

[Jonaitis]

Celibacy was something I wanted early on in my faith, but I always wondered if this sort of desire was compatible with it and questioned what I really wanted. It can last for like a week and not come around for another 6-12 months.

 

[MariaJLM]

Celibacy was something I wanted early on in my faith, but I always wondered if this sort of desire was compatible with it and questioned what I really wanted. It can last for like a week and not come around for another 6-12 months.

I've never had interest in any sort of relations, even before I was Christian. I remember being in school and feigning crushes in attempt to fit in. It didn't work, though, of course, since I was bullied and stuff. Now I have all sorts of mental trauma from it.

 

[Jonaitis]

I've never had interest in any sort of relations, even before I was Christian. I remember being in school and feigning crushes in attempt to fit in. It didn't work, though, of course, since I was bullied and stuff. Now I have all sorts of mental trauma from it.

Interesting, there are people like that out there. My disposition of relationships changed for me when I was converted, because it was one of those things I too thought was important to have to fit in (and I did have the desires and "crushes"). All of my friends (men and women) are panicking about reaching their thirties, because they haven't found the "one." I am over here planning out where I should have my plot set and what sort of headstone would look appropriate. I seem to plan too far ahead...

 

[Citanul]

I can relate to some extent as I go back and forth on the matter. Most of the time I don't give much thought to being single, so I am generally happy with my current status, but every now and then it does occur to me that it would nice to have that companionship.

I wouldn't turn down an opportunity if it came along, either through meeting someone in real life on via online dating (which I still half-heartedly use). But I'm not putting a great deal of effort into it - if it happens by chance then it happens, but I'm not actively going out there and looking.

 

[lambofgod43985889]

there are many reasons
and one way out
be aware of faults a treasons
and celebrate with a stout

 

[RachelJay50]

It is strange, for most of the time I don't think too much about being in a relationship as they seem like a passing thought whenever someone brings it up. But then there are those moments that occasionally, if not rarely, come around where I begin to contemplate and yearn for it. What is up with that? When those moment come, it is like I develop a desperate feeling inside of wanting to go out of my way and be flirtatious. But normally, such feelings are dead and not so compulsive and I could care less about it.

Do you experience this same thing?

I am new to Christian forums. But what you said has resonated with me. I have been single for the past 5 years. I have really enjoyed myself, my life and just being by myself. But there are those quiet moments that sneak up on you and you wonder if there is something missing. Then they pass and my life becomes the one I have known for the past 5 years. I thought, perhaps, that I was going out of my mind.....lol. Thank you for helping.

 

[Kenny'sID]

Yeah, you are right that it is natural.

You see with my experience it isn't so much sexual as it is the desire for companionship. Just to be with someone is the passion, regardless of any drive. I feel that way right now...

I understand, and the companionship draw is quit strong as well.

I never married but always thought I wanted to, yet when even when the opportunities arrived, I'd bug out for some reason.

I regret it too.

 

[Niels]

Sounds familiar. Most of us have those moments. I'll occasionally meet somebody who checks one or two of my check-boxes. Maybe she's cute and our personalities click, but we're otherwise incompatible. It can be tempting to have a meaningless fling, but that isn't my style. I'd like to find a wife, but the pros will have to outweigh the cons. Until that happens, singleness is the better option.

Desire isn't inherently bad or good. What we do with it is what matters. When I'm tempted, I'm reminded that I'm a man who has a healthy interest in finding a partner. There's nothing wrong with that. She just has to be the right kind of woman for there to be relationship potential. Maybe because I feel thankful for it, the underlying desire doesn't bring me down.

 

[sea5763]

nvm

 

[S.O.J.I.A.]

we're hardwired to pair-bond. some will have a stronger desire than others and some will have a weaker desire than others to the point where they can take it or leave it.

it is what it is.

 

[Tokitee]

Yeah, it would be nice to have companionship.

I have to admit, it sucks to see people that I had a crush on growing up, having families and getting married.
I'm over here, trying to say anything besides....I have a job! Yay... :\

 

[MariaJLM]

Yeah, it would be nice to have companionship.

I have to admit, it sucks to see people that I had a crush on growing up, having families and getting married.
I'm over here, trying to say anything besides....I have a job! Yay... :\

At least you have a job. I don't even have that.

 

[Jonaitis]

Yeah, it would be nice to have companionship.

I have to admit, it sucks to see people that I had a crush on growing up, having families and getting married.
I'm over here, trying to say anything besides....I have a job! Yay... :\

I am amazed at seeing people I never imagined being married, getting married or already have children!