fluffy_rainbow said:The reality is, that is the way it is when you give your heart and body to anyone but the person you're married to. You take a little piece of that person around with you. The ghosts from your past haunt you on your wedding day. They haunt you during sexual relations. They're not always at the forefront of your mind, but every once and awhile they show up.
I doubt that she's reporting a problem she's actually experienced. I remember hearing time and time again in youth meetings about how your past lovers will haunt you for the rest of your life, and of course everyone believed it was true because the elders said so, despite the fact that nobody we'd ever met seemed to complain much about past lovers getting in the way of romance.flicka said:That isn't my reality at all!! LOL! I seriously think that sexual issues are as unique as the individual, and if yours lead you to think this way then by all means do whatever necessary to keep these things from ruining your life. Personally, after 20+ years of marriage I have a hard time even remembering what happened during my single days, much less having 'ghosts of lovers past' haunt me.
Ah, one should not assume about someone's personal experiences. I am a divorced woman who also has a pretty shady sexual past. There have been times I have been in bed with a man and thought, "gee, I wish he did that 'thing' like so and so used to". This can happen to anyone.I doubt that she's reporting a problem she's actually experienced.
I don't really understand why so many people are so very obsessed with a person's (male or female) past...I think the way you do, Ledifni.Ledifni said:I would whisper lovingly in my bride's ear that I care only about her life with me now, and that her past is neither my business nor my concern. Then I would call any available security to detain these men for trespassing on a private ceremony and disrupting a wedding. Finally, I would turn to my bride-to-be and give my heart to her as I had planned.
What, did you expect me to say I'd throw someone I loved out on her ass just because she'd had the temerity to love others in the past? Why would someone's past lovers even be a concern aside from possible health risks? I can't understand why such a thing would even matter to you.
EDIT: Yes, you're correct, I'm a guy. *goes to update profile*
Ah. Well, I don't consider that being "haunted." That's just a matter of putting past experience to use to increase the pleasure of both partners. What's wrong with that?fluffy_rainbow said:Ah, one should not assume about someone's personal experiences. I am a divorced woman who also has a pretty shady sexual past. There have been times I have been in bed with a man and thought, "gee, I wish he did that 'thing' like so and so used to". This can happen to anyone.
Fluffy_Rainbow, you speak but you do not have the scripture to back it up. You need to give chapter and verse. Define it both Hebrew and Greek. As far as the wedding feast....in the New Testament in John Chapter 2.....If you are going to go with custom then the daughter would be matched with her husband and never even date him. Do you believe in dating? You didn't even get to pick your own husband? Is this a custom? Could it be considered a sin that you are seen without your face being covered and especially by a man?fluffy_rainbow said:Um, did Jesus not turn the water into wine at a wedding? Even in Old Testament culture, there were legal marriage ceremonies.
It's not wrong to have sex before marriage, there's no animal in nature that has to marry before having sex. And they all follow God's laws of nature, this automatically means that we don't have to worry about this either. Its unlikely all these animals will burn in hell, such makes it therefore unlikely we will goto hell for it either. Besides wether people are having sex is of no primairy concern to God unless if it's out of pure lust instead out of pure love then it's al perfectly ok.BLESSEDBETHEMEEK said:I call myself a follower of christ yet i have pre-marrial sex, I AM in a commited relationship and have intercourse with only one person does tat make me a sinner? or does god want us to be happy?,, I try to stay away from the whole fire and brimstone thing because all that does is scare people away from god and christ,,,, yet i also shy away from the "if it feels good do it" school of thought, any help? (scriptual or evidence)
thank you everyone!!!
god bless and stay strong in faith!
I have not been married 20+ years in marriage and have not the good fortune to even have a marriage at this point in my life but even as rotten of one I had I don't ever recall making a comparison or even thinking along those lines and applaud your post~ Good post~ Thanks Flicka~flicka said:That isn't my reality at all!! LOL! I seriously think that sexual issues are as unique as the individual, and if yours lead you to think this way then by all means do whatever necessary to keep these things from ruining your life. Personally, after 20+ years of marriage I have a hard time even remembering what happened during my single days, much less having 'ghosts of lovers past' haunt me.
I can't answer for her Ledifini but I can say that a large portion of the people I have spoke with regarding this issue did indeed get this lingo that you are saying and never knew their own hearts convincing and I applaud you for your young ears and your youthful wisdom which is far more mature than I was at your age. If I had some of your wisdom and it seen through things that you have then perhaps I would not have been so screwed up and ran from God thinking I was condemned to hell because I went on some man's opinion. I may have drawn closer to God if someone had said, why don't you research it out for yourself and find what God has to say about it.Ledifni said:I doubt that she's reporting a problem she's actually experienced. I remember hearing time and time again in youth meetings about how your past lovers will haunt you for the rest of your life, and of course everyone believed it was true because the elders said so, despite the fact that nobody we'd ever met seemed to complain much about past lovers getting in the way of romance.
BLESSEDBETHEMEEK said:I call myself a follower of christ yet i have pre-marrial sex, I AM in a commited relationship and have intercourse with only one person does tat make me a sinner? or does god want us to be happy?,, I try to stay away from the whole fire and brimstone thing because all that does is scare people away from god and christ,,,, yet i also shy away from the "if it feels good do it" school of thought, any help? (scriptual or evidence)
thank you everyone!!!
god bless and stay strong in faith!
fluffy_rainbow said:Um, did Jesus not turn the water into wine at a wedding? Even in Old Testament culture, there were legal marriage ceremonies.
truthnluv said:If she was a virgin and you became one flesh(sexual union) with her then it is a marriage(Matt.19:4-6). If she was already married and you became one flesh with her it was fornication(1Cor.6:16). If she was a Christian abandoned by a believer or a widow and you became one flesh with her it is a marriage(1Cor.7:15,31)
Marriage has nothing to do with a legal document or a traditional ceremony. These things are man-made and meaningless.
Truthnluv
mhatten said:This then begs the question what is a marriage? Is it merely a sexual union? For if a couple under the circumstances you outline are having sex but not living together not sharing a life but only the "marriage bed" is this marriage.?
Note I agree with you about the legal aspects of today's marriages (license and so on) these things did not occur during Biblical times.
Explain please..I dont get what you mean by thatJustJack! said:So it's a sin. Doesn't mean it's wrong.
I would say that you are either married or under obligation to marry, depending on how you see marriage. I think you should recognise your situation publically with a marriage ceremony, to publically acknowledge what God has ordained. It will be better for both of you if you are clear about your situation, which biblically is clear (Genesis and gospel verses from truthnluv, Deuteronomy 22). Until this it is better to refrain, in order to avoid scandal (1 Cor 8).BLESSEDBETHEMEEK said:I call myself a follower of christ yet i have pre-marrial sex, I AM in a commited relationship and have intercourse with only one person does tat make me a sinner? or does god want us to be happy?,, I try to stay away from the whole fire and brimstone thing because all that does is scare people away from god and christ,,,, yet i also shy away from the "if it feels good do it" school of thought, any help? (scriptual or evidence)
thank you everyone!!!
god bless and stay strong in faith!
thirsty said:There are many reasons why God disapproves of sex out of wedlock but the one that is most previlant is the transfer of STD's. If people remained celibate until marriage STD's would not be an issue like it is today.
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