Praying for a mate.

[Tink]

Do you think it's wrong to pray that God bring a certain person to you? There's a guy in my church that just moved away to go into men's ministry. I think what he's doing is awesome! I don't want to date this guy right away and all that sort of thing, but I wouldn't be opposed to us getting together someday. I mean, I've made a list of each trait I would like for my mate to meet and he meets all of them (except for two that I don't know about him yet). I'm just saying, I've prayed over the traits and that God would bring someone into my life that meets these traits if it's in accordance to His will. Since the guy at my church meets those traits, it's possible he is who God brought to me, right? I'm a little confused about the whole situation, so I'm sorry if it doesn't make any sense. lol. Thanks to everyone in advance.

 

[Living4Him03]

I've found that several guys I have dated had the qualities on my "list"...yet, when things didn't work out with them, I'd realize just how glad I am God didn't have it in His will for me to be with them! You can certainly pray about the situation and about getting to know him but here's what I've found (maybe this is just for me though)...Until I learn to be selfless and gain the heart of a servant God is not going to honor my request for a husband. I'm not saying you aren't selfless or don't have a servan'ts heart...I'm not saying you are not striving to be the woman God wants you to be. However, it really is important to check your motivations. Why do you want to get to know this guy? Do you believe you could serve God alongside this guy? I guess you have to evaluate your true motivations in asking God to bring him to you.

I've kind of been in a similar situation lately. Keeping this guy from doing his ministry would not be good and you have probably already thought about that. The best advice I can give to you is become his friend and genuinely get to know him and allow him to get to know you. Pray about the situation and leave it in God's hands. If you are meant to be with this guy, God will make a way. It's possible he's the guy for you. It's also possible he's not. Trust that God does have your best interests at heart because He loves you very much and will bring a wonderful, Godly man into your life, even if it's not this certain guy. Try and look at the bigger picture.

 

[skaaat]

Do you think it's wrong to pray that God bring a certain person to you?

Nah, I don't think there's anything wrong with it at all! Be honest with yourself and with God, be sincere in your praying!

I think Living4Him03 is on the right track with the questions she's asking, and the things she's advising as well!

 

[Tink]

...it really is important to check your motivations. Why do you want to get to know this guy? Do you believe you could serve God alongside this guy? I guess you have to evaluate your true motivations in asking God to bring him to you...

...lately. Keeping this guy from doing his ministry would not be good and you have probably already thought about that. The best advice I can give to you is become his friend and genuinely get to know him and allow him to get to know you. Pray about the situation and leave it in God's hands...

First off, thank you so much for answering.

Secondly, I want to get to know him because he's a terrific man of God AND because I do see myself serving God beside him. I've been attracted (spiritually) to him since the day I met him. I am working on being selfless, but I believe that is something that is lifelong. No person is ever completely selfless, except Jesus Christ. I have no plans to keep him from doing what the Lord has called him to do. God wouldn't have started him in this particular ministry if it wasn't what He wanted for him to do. I am getting to know him, slowly. I don't think that any relationship that is rushed is of God. (Just my opinion, not looking for a debate, guys and gals.) I continually pray about the matter. If this guy is not God's will for me, I'll be fine. I really just wanted to know if it was weird for me to think the way I do, and if people think it's acceptable to pray in this fashion. Thanks again. God bless you!
In Christ,
Tink

 

[Tink]

Nah, I don't think there's anything wrong with it at all! Be honest with yourself and with God, be sincere in your praying!

I think Living4Him03 is on the right track with the questions she's asking, and the things she's advising as well!

Thanks Skaaat!!!

 

[Spicy McHaggis]

Me personally, I try not to pray for specifics, but rather try to pray for the strength and wisdom and stuff to do the right thing. In the case of a mate, I would more or less just tell God how I'm feeling, and ask for an answer to that.

Like, if I feel lonely, I'd ask for God to take away that feeling, not "Here's how I want you to fix it..."

Like, don't put the handcuffs of specifics on God, because I can't imagine all the options He has available to Him, and He knows what's best for me. But yeah, praying for a mate is a natural desire. I mean, Adam was able to walk and talk with God personally, and even he was still missing something.

Hope that makes sense.

 

[Tink]

Me personally, I try not to pray for specifics...if I feel lonely, I'd ask for God to take away that feeling, not "Here's how I want you to fix it..."
...and He knows what's best for me. But yeah, praying for a mate is a natural desire. I mean, Adam was able to walk and talk with God personally, and even he was still missing something.

Hope that makes sense.

The thing is, I'm not lonely...really. I have great friends and I also have Jesus (my BEST friend of all!). I'm not alone and I don't feel like I am. This guy just seems like he's the perfect match for me, and I really just want an answer on that. As I said, if he's not meant to be that to me, then I will love him as a brother in Christ. It won't hurt me like it would if we were dating.
Yes, He does know what is best for me....I don't. That's why I'm praying. Thanks Ikle!

PS I hope this makes sense also!

In Christ,
Tink

 

[Spicy McHaggis]

The thing is, I'm not lonely...really. I have great friends and I also have Jesus (my BEST friend of all!). I'm not alone and I don't feel like I am. This guy just seems like he's the perfect match for me, and I really just want an answer on that. As I said, if he's not meant to be that to me, then I will love him as a brother in Christ. It won't hurt me like it would if we were dating.
Yes, He does know what is best for me....I don't. That's why I'm praying. Thanks Ikle!

PS I hope this makes sense also!

In Christ,
Tink

Nope, you're completely buck-nutty.

Really, it makes perfect sense. That's differnet from praying that God will bring a person to you, so yeah, if that's what you're doing (praying for an answer, not a specific answer) I'd say you're on the right track.

Good luck with all that.

 

[JPPT1974]

I am at a standstill myself. Because I am going to be 30 on October 3rd. And still I am single. But to be honest, I am really not worry at all. Sounds cruel but really I think God doesn't want me to have a mate at all perhaps. Don't know why but only He knows of course. If I am meant to have a mate fine. If not, well that is fine with me.

 

[gjeste]

I'm just curious... why do so many people sit back and spend so much time praying for a mate, and not spend any time looking for one?

I would think that you should do both, if you want a mate.

 

[LovinGod]

Me personally, I try not to pray for specifics, but rather try to pray for the strength and wisdom and stuff to do the right thing. In the case of a mate, I would more or less just tell God how I'm feeling, and ask for an answer to that.

Like, if I feel lonely, I'd ask for God to take away that feeling, not "Here's how I want you to fix it..."

Like, don't put the handcuffs of specifics on God, because I can't imagine all the options He has available to Him, and He knows what's best for me. But yeah, praying for a mate is a natural desire. I mean, Adam was able to walk and talk with God personally, and even he was still missing something.

Hope that makes sense.

I agree. I pray that the Lord sends me exactly who He wants. If I start asking specifically for "Joe Bob", I might be missing out on the "John Boy" that the Lord has in mind for me. He knows what's best...He knows the future. I would much rather have the Lord decide on someone for me.

But praying for the Lord's will concerning a mate...I don't see a problem with it.

 

[songz777]

Hello.
well to quote you Do you think it's wrong to pray that God bring a certain person to you? WELL I pray for certain qualities because it is very important to me, how ever ido pray that the Lord will change me rather than have to change here to suit me.
We all have diiferent personalities and suit diff people so pray and pray again ) Bless you john

 

[TriptychR]

I'm just curious... why do so many people sit back and spend so much time praying for a mate, and not spend any time looking for one?

I would think that you should do both, if you want a mate.

I agree. I think it was Emerson who said something like, "Pray to God, but keep rowing toward the shore." You can pray all you want, but you also have to look or at least be willing to see the opportunity when it is placed in your life.

 

[Spicy McHaggis]

I agree. I think it was Emerson who said something like, "Pray to God, but keep rowing toward the shore." You can pray all you want, but you also have to look or at least be willing to see the opportunity when it is placed in your life.

and if all you do is sit at home and wait for a mate, you'll only meet mailmen and Jehovas Witnesses.

I refer back to my fav quote from Frederick Douglas (escaped slave)

"I prayed for 20 years but recieved no answer until I prayed with my legs."

 

[Tink]

I'm just curious... why do so many people sit back and spend so much time praying for a mate, and not spend any time looking for one?
I would think that you should do both, if you want a mate.

It's not as if I don't leave my house. LOL. I work and attend church three days a week. I get out of the house and hang with friends. Where else is there to meet people? Most of the people my age are at the bar, and I'm certainly not going to look there. hehehe. The thing is, I've made such bad choices concerning a mate the last ten years of my life that I'll just leave it up to God to bring us together from now on. And I'm not just "praying for a mate" so to speak. I'm praying to find out if this specific man is someone that the Lord HAS pointed my way. Also, Songz777, I pray that I change in every way that it is God's will. No use being stubborn. We'll see about Justin. Everything is revealed in His time.

And thanks to everyone for the comments. Very helpful.
In Christ,
Tink

 

[JPPT1974]

Call me old-fashioned but I prefer an average joes. What would you chose? A handsome hunk on the outside side but a major league jerk on the inside. Or not so nice looking on the outside. But handsome on the inside.

 

[Tink]

Call me old-fashioned but I prefer an average joes. What would you chose? A handsome hunk on the outside side but a major league jerk on the inside. Or not so nice looking on the outside. But handsome on the inside.

Who is this directed to?

I personally don't care what a person looks like, as long as I'm attracted to something about him. So maybe an average joe, or just maybe a really handsome guy. God has a plan. I'm looking forward to finding out the end result.
In Christ,
Tink

 

[bkg]

Is it wrong? No. Does it work? Depends on how you define "working". I prayed for someone (before I was a christian) for many years. Looking back, I can definitely see God's hand in bringing us together, allowing us to fall in love and to eventually be married.

But I think there is something much different than "getting a mate" or "going out and finding one" (Btw - that kind of rubs me teh wrong way. Finding a mate is not like buying a car...).. and that is praying that we will BE a good mate to that person when God brings us together. It's a lot like praying to get married and forgetting to pray about the marriage... the "getting" is less important than the "doing"...

Soo.... I guess I view it similar to Songz - pray that God will make us the person we need to be to be a good mate to the person He will bring to us/bring us to...

 

[JPPT1974]

Actually it isn't directed toward anybody. But I would prefer people on the inside beautiful than beautiful people on the outside. I mean people that have hearts of gold.

 

[etcastle]

Praying for a mate is useless unless you back it up with action. I am a firm believer in the saying..."Nothing happens until you make it happen"

Get off your rear end and date!! You will eventually meet the one who peaks your interest.