Prayers united

[Shadolus]

Please all the women and men of God who serve our Lord Jesus Christ, pray for me. I don't know why but I'm going through terrible depression right now. At my job I hardly speak because of it and I'm sure this makes the people I work with feel awkward, and its like this else where too. I'm serving the Lord with all my might and the closer I seem to get to God, the more the enemy seems to be right there, telling me lies about how I'm a failure at life, unnatractive, not good around people (creating poor confidence in me), and so many other things that its almost paralyzing me.

I don't understand why God is allowing this to happen when I've been nothing but faithful. I'm not being cocky, but seriously I have led an honorable (and yes I'm not perfect, far from it) Christian life, which seems to have led to a lonely state. The thing that bothers me the most is how I feel like I'll never meet a Christian women (that may lead to something) in which to share a Godly life with. All my friends are now married and I feel so alone, why is God allowing all this sadness and sorrow? And it doesn't help that I work with a very beautiful married women all the time in which we have to be around eachother. Don't worry, I give bould reproof in this mannor and wouldn't fumble over it, but it drains me all the time.

I'm not sure anyone could give me advice, but I darn well know you can all pray for me and YOUR PRAYERS HAVE POWER. Cast this off me by coming to Jesus for healing in my life. I have prayed too trust me, and have searched for scripture to understand this. I havn't always felt like this, but for the past some months I've been getting my butt kicked.... please pray for me.

 

[wonderwaleye]

Please all the women and men of God who serve our Lord Jesus Christ, pray for me. I don't know why but I'm going through terrible depression right now. At my job I hardly speak because of it and I'm sure this makes the people I work with feel awkward, and its like this else where too. I'm serving the Lord with all my might and the closer I seem to get to God, the more the enemy seems to be right there, telling me lies about how I'm a failure at life, unnatractive, not good around people (creating poor confidence in me), and so many other things that its almost paralyzing me.

I don't understand why God is allowing this to happen when I've been nothing but faithful. I'm not being cocky, but seriously I have led an honorable (and yes I'm not perfect, far from it) Christian life, which seems to have led to a lonely state. The thing that bothers me the most is how I feel like I'll never meet a Christian women (that may lead to something) in which to share a Godly life with. All my friends are now married and I feel so alone, why is God allowing all this sadness and sorrow? And it doesn't help that I work with a very beautiful married women all the time in which we have to be around eachother. Don't worry, I give bould reproof in this mannor and wouldn't fumble over it, but it drains me all the time.

I'm not sure anyone could give me advice, but I darn well know you can all pray for me and YOUR PRAYERS HAVE POWER. Cast this off me by coming to Jesus for healing in my life. I have prayed too trust me, and have searched for scripture to understand this. I havn't always felt like this, but for the past some months I've been getting my butt kicked.... please pray for me.

I can understand your need and want for a help mate but there is much more involved. The depression you have is very dangerous. It not only detracts from finding a help mate but can also be life threatening. This is something that needs to be addressed immediately by a doctor.


GOD'S WORD says:



Sirach chapter 38

​

1: Honour a physician with the honour due unto him for the uses which ye may have of him: for the Lord hath created him.





2: For of the most High cometh healing, and he shall receive honour of the king.





3: The skill of the physician shall lift up his head: and in the sight of great men he shall be in admiration.





4: The Lord hath created medicines out of the earth; and he that is wise will not abhor them.





5: Was not the water made sweet with wood, that the virtue thereof might be known?






6: And he hath given men skill, that he might be honoured in his marvellous works.





7: With such doth he heal [men,] and taketh away their pains.






8: Of such doth the apothecary make a confection; and of his works there is no end; and from him is peace over all the earth,






9: My son, in thy sickness be not negligent: but pray unto the Lord, and he will make thee whole.






10: Leave off from sin, and order thine hands aright, and cleanse thy heart from all wickedness.





11: Give a sweet savour, and a memorial of fine flour; and make a fat offering, as not being.





12: Then give place to the physician, for the Lord hath created him: let him not go from thee, for thou hast need of him.






13: There is a time when in their hands there is good success.





14: For they shall also pray unto the Lord, that he would prosper that, which they give for ease and remedy to prolong life.





15: He that sinneth before his Maker, let him fall into the hand of the physician.


There are some very good meds that will take care of the depression and you don't even know your taking them. I have taken them for years with no problem. This depression is caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain and is no different that any other disease. Many folks suffer from this.



Either make an appointment with a doctor of go to the Dept. of Mental Health ( govt. ) and seek help. There is like a $50.00 charge at the Mental Health Dept. and I think it's a one time charge.


I know your trying very hard to grow in your faith and I feel that any lack of faith is not your problem. Don't expect GOD to take care of things he guides you to take care of. So take action now and show GOD your willing to do all he commands.


LOVE


steven

 

[gabrielListens]

Without revealing the source of my information I will only say that someone who claims to have had a very recent vision (and conversion from atheism) with Jesus (no it is not a catholic visionary) said that the church is right now undergoing a great cleansing and that many of those whose faith is weak will fall away. He said that the church will become much smaller but it will also be a much stronger church. He didn't say exactly why God is doing this but I suspect it has something to do with the time of Jesus' return drawing near.

Of course its up to you to believe any of it, but I tell you I am going through a very similar situation myself and I have tried to be a very good christian since my conversion about 4 years ago. It seems like these past 6 months or so have been one long nightmare and although things are recently getting better, still it seems like there are little attacks of evil happening everyday. Like things that seem like they were just perfectly orchestrated to upset you or annoy you. Just gotta remember the scriptures that God said He will rescue us and redeem us and reward us.

Also did you notice that events all over the world seem to be coming to a boiling point? North Korea test firing nukes, Iran in turmoil over the elections, A fresh new attack on the taliban by US forces, the 2 american reporters sentenced to hard labor in North Korea, the economy is in a major crisis, states are going bankrupt, celebrities and sports figures are dying frequently, etc.... I feel like something big is coming soon.

 

[Shadolus]

Thanks for the reply guys, I appreciate it.

 

[unity777]

Jake777 Its My Turn To Pray For You Brother I Cant Say I Know 100% What You Feel Like But Depression Is A Treble Thing To Be Going Thru Seems If We All Have Pain In These Times And Its Our Duty To Pray For One Another I Can Say I Am Slowly Getting Closer To God And His Love Is Drawing Me Closer, God Is Not Letting Anything Happen To You That Is Not For His Glory ,i Am Going To Quote Dr David Jeremiah From This Morning Service That Really
Impacted Me When He Said It "adversity Purifies The Purpose" Sometimes
The Problems We Go Thru In Life Is What Helps Us Find Our Strength,helps Us Develop Our Faith And Helps Us Define Our God Given Purpose In Life I Know You Have Probably Heard That A Thousand Times, But Something God Revealed To Me Along Time Ago The Devil Knows All Of Our Weakness,and Its Gods Will For Us To Surpass Each Weakness Thru His Strength It Humbles Us And Makes Us Realize How Depended On Him We Should Be

1 Corinthians

6:11 To The Present Hour We Both Hunger And Thirst And We Are Poorly Clothed And Beaten And Homeless 12: And We Labor Working With Our Hands
Being Reviled We Bless Being Perscuted We Endure 13: Being Defamed We Entreat We Have Been Made The Filth Of The World The Offscouring Of All Things Untill Now

You See Thru Your Strength You Can Not Live A Righteous Life ,thru Your Strength You Can Not Live Without Sin For Then Jesus Would Not Be Needed
Temptation Is All Around Strenghten Yourself In The Lord He Knows Your Needs And Will Fullfill Them I Have No Doubt In This

Love U Brother
Dave

 

[One day at a time]

I'm praying for you Jake! I would never belittle anything that you are going through or minimize it. But don't feel like God is forsaking you. He is preparing you as you go through these tough times. Believe me I know about tough times and have begged God over and over to help me understand. Hate to tell you this...but sometimes it can last years! But in the end it will be well worth it all! Don't give in....keep going....I'll be your cheerleader to keep you going if you need. And as always...your on my prayer list. I will give you more prayers!!!

 

[heron]

Depression can set in with bad lighting at work. It seems trivial, but make sure you get at least 15 minutes of direct sunlight each day. Make yourself take lunch outside; go for a walk. Depression can snowball if you don't make yourself resist it.

There are other practical things you can do that help the emotional. The deeper you go, the less you will feel like making changes. Cut back on the substances that manipulate your moods -- caffeine, sugar, salt, msg, alcohol.

There are some herbals that indirectly help with mood, stabilizing. St. John's Wort is common and somewhat effective -- it's about $5-7 and easy to find in stores. (Guarana products will claim to help, but they're just like caffeine.)

Make yourself go places that you've never been, so you can see yourself as belonging in a different realm. (Temporarily.) Do things that keep you from feeling like a machine, too efficient to treat yourself to life.

On the spiritual level, others have given ideas. Keep God's promises in the forefront of your mind, and repeat them out loud.

Declare what God has for you, and declare to the devil that he has no rights to you.

Consciously thank God for things that He has done.

This may seem like a silly list, or a lot more things to do. But study what your depression is, and what can lift you out of it. Depression will put you in a zone where you can't see the hope in life, and you can't see any reason for getting out of this state.

the church is right now undergoing a great cleansing and that many of those whose faith is weak will fall away. He said that the church will become much smaller but it will also be a much stronger church

About eight years ago we were hearing the same messages at our church, and we've seen it happen in many different ways. God always keeps us accountable, but I've heard and seen many things that indicate He is doing a specific cleaning out. I don't believe that is isolated to evil infiltrators, but also to each one of His flock.

 

[Shadolus]

Jake777 Its My Turn To Pray For You Brother I Cant Say I Know 100% What You Feel Like But Depression Is A Treble Thing To Be Going Thru Seems If We All Have Pain In These Times And Its Our Duty To Pray For One Another I Can Say I Am Slowly Getting Closer To God And His Love Is Drawing Me Closer, God Is Not Letting Anything Happen To You That Is Not For His Glory ,i Am Going To Quote Dr David Jeremiah From This Morning Service That Really
Impacted Me When He Said It "adversity Purifies The Purpose" Sometimes
The Problems We Go Thru In Life Is What Helps Us Find Our Strength,helps Us Develop Our Faith And Helps Us Define Our God Given Purpose In Life I Know You Have Probably Heard That A Thousand Times, But Something God Revealed To Me Along Time Ago The Devil Knows All Of Our Weakness,and Its Gods Will For Us To Surpass Each Weakness Thru His Strength It Humbles Us And Makes Us Realize How Depended On Him We Should Be

1 Corinthians

6:11 To The Present Hour We Both Hunger And Thirst And We Are Poorly Clothed And Beaten And Homeless 12: And We Labor Working With Our Hands
Being Reviled We Bless Being Perscuted We Endure 13: Being Defamed We Entreat We Have Been Made The Filth Of The World The Offscouring Of All Things Untill Now

You See Thru Your Strength You Can Not Live A Righteous Life ,thru Your Strength You Can Not Live Without Sin For Then Jesus Would Not Be Needed
Temptation Is All Around Strenghten Yourself In The Lord He Knows Your Needs And Will Fullfill Them I Have No Doubt In This

Love U Brother
Dave

Glad to hear from you! Yes, I believe everything I'm going through is to get me where God needs me. Thank you for reminding me of that. Also, sometimes I do get caught up in my own strength because I want stuff to happen right away, but it is wise to wait for God's timing for I can only derail his plan by trying it "my way". I really appreciate your reply, God bless.

I'm praying for you Jake! I would never belittle anything that you are going through or minimize it. But don't feel like God is forsaking you. He is preparing you as you go through these tough times. Believe me I know about tough times and have begged God over and over to help me understand. Hate to tell you this...but sometimes it can last years! But in the end it will be well worth it all! Don't give in....keep going....I'll be your cheerleader to keep you going if you need. And as always...your on my prayer list. I will give you more prayers!!!

I believe you when you say you understand tough times and I respect your opinion. So you will be one of the first to know when your and other prayers, pertaining to me, are answered! And yes it will be worth it, I just pray I'm able to endure everything.

Depression can set in with bad lighting at work. It seems trivial, but make sure you get at least 15 minutes of direct sunlight each day. Make yourself take lunch outside; go for a walk. Depression can snowball if you don't make yourself resist it.

There are other practical things you can do that help the emotional. The deeper you go, the less you will feel like making changes. Cut back on the substances that manipulate your moods -- caffeine, sugar, salt, msg, alcohol.

There are some herbals that indirectly help with mood, stabilizing. St. John's Wort is common and somewhat effective -- it's about $5-7 and easy to find in stores. (Guarana products will claim to help, but they're just like caffeine.)

Make yourself go places that you've never been, so you can see yourself as belonging in a different realm. (Temporarily.) Do things that keep you from feeling like a machine, too efficient to treat yourself to life.

On the spiritual level, others have given ideas. Keep God's promises in the forefront of your mind, and repeat them out loud.

Declare what God has for you, and declare to the devil that he has no rights to you.

Consciously thank God for things that He has done.

This may seem like a silly list, or a lot more things to do. But study what your depression is, and what can lift you out of it. Depression will put you in a zone where you can't see the hope in life, and you can't see any reason for getting out of this state.

About eight years ago we were hearing the same messages at our church, and we've seen it happen in many different ways. God always keeps us accountable, but I've heard and seen many things that indicate He is doing a specific cleaning out. I don't believe that is isolated to evil infiltrators, but also to each one of His flock.

You make very solid points and give me an interesting perspective to my depression. I do drink a lot of caffeine, and my job consists of me being in a dim lit room. However, I have started taking walks lately so maybe that'll help. Also your mentioning of proclaiming God's promises over me are exactly what I need to be doing. Not just thinking about it, but bodly announcing it in an audible voice and to tell the devil he has NO authority over me, that God declares me victorious. Thank you so much for your reply!!

 

[unity777]

I Will Continue To Keep You In My Prayers PLEASE KEEP ME INFORMED I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR HOW GOD
IS WORKING IN YOUR LIFE IT NOURISHES AND FORTIFIES MY FAITH AND REMEMBER"ITS ALWAYS DARKEST BEFORE DAWN"
MUCH LOVE &
God Bless
Dave

 

[Shadolus]

I Will Continue To Keep You In My Prayers PLEASE KEEP ME INFORMED I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR HOW GOD
IS WORKING IN YOUR LIFE IT NOURISHES AND FORTIFIES MY FAITH AND REMEMBER"ITS ALWAYS DARKEST BEFORE DAWN"
MUCH LOVE &
God Bless
Dave

Yeah, I'll absolutely let you know and I'll send you a friend request. Also let me know about your situation, which I too will be praying for!!

 

[2 King]

First I'd like to say that everyone has already given so much helpful information to you already that there is hardly enough room for much else to say except that I'll be praying too.

the closer I seem to get to God, the more the enemy seems to be right there,

That's to be expected. Continue to "Fight the good fight.", well I already know you will.

I don't understand why God is allowing this to happen when I've been nothing but faithful.

You know it's wrong to think that way. Get rid of it.

I have led an honorable (and yes I'm not perfect, far from it) Christian life, which seems to have led to a lonely state.

You remind me of Elijah the prohpet. There may be a difference though, that he chose to work alone, and he paid for it with isloation and loneliness. Elijah, like us, struggled with his feelings even after God came to him in a gentle whisper. So God confronted Elijah's emotions and commanded action. He told Elijah what to next and informed him that part of his loneliness was based on ignorance: The fact that 7,000 others in Israel were still faithful to God.

I'm not saying that you are ignorant. If you choose to work alone you will suffer for it. However, I believed that you can find suitable Christian friends to hang out with.

Remember this:
We are never closer to defeat than in our moments of greatest victory.
We are never as alone as we may feel: God is always there.
God speaks more frequently in persistent whispers than in shouts.

The thing that bothers me the most is how I feel like I'll never meet a Christian women (that may lead to something) in which to share a Godly life with.

You will.

why is God allowing all this sadness and sorrow?

I think I'd rather PM you concerning this matter.

And it doesn't help that I work with a very beautiful married women all the time in which we have to be around eachother. Don't worry, I give bould reproof in this mannor and wouldn't fumble over it, but it drains me all the time.

Sounds tough. I'm glad God delieverd me from lust of the eyes.
for now all I can say here is: Perseverance.

YOUR PRAYERS HAVE POWER.

So do yours.

In general, all prayers have power.

I have prayed too trust me, and have searched for scripture to understand this.

Don't stop until you've been delivered from this affliction.

please pray for me

will do

 

[Shadolus]

First I'd like to say that everyone has already given so much helpful information to you already that there is hardly enough from for much else to say except that I'll be praying too.



That's to be expected. Continue to "Fight the good fight.", well I already know you will.



You know it's wrong to think that way. Get rid of it.



You remind me of Elijah the prohpet. There may be a difference though, that he chose to work alone, and he paid for it with isloation and loneliness. Elijah, like us, struggled with his feelings even after God came to him in a gentle whisper. So God confronted Elijah's emotions and commanded action. He told Elijah what to next and informed him that part of his loneliness was based on ignorance: The fact that 7,000 others in Israel were still faithful to God.

I'm not say that you are ignorant. If you choose to work alone you will suffer for it. However, I believed that you can find suitable Christian friends to hang out with.

Remember this:
We are never closer to defeat than in our moments of greatest victory.
We are never as alone as we may feel: God is always there.
God speaks more frequently in persistent whispers than in shouts.



You will.


I think I'd rather PM you concerning this matter.


Sounds tough. I'm glad God delieverd me from lust of the eyes.
for now all I can say here is: Perseverance.



So do yours.

In general, all prayers have power.



Don't stop until you've been delivered from this affliction.


will do

My friend you have added a valuable input and for that I'm thankful. Yes, when I said that I have been nothing but faithful, I didn't mean to come off arogant, but I do see that its part of God's plan to bring these trials regaurdless of how "faithful" I am. As for being like Elijah, I reconize the harmful potential with working for God alone so I'm looking for other Christians to serve with, but its deffenitely a process. Lastly, your prayers are important to me and they certainly won't be overlooked, thank you!

 

[One day at a time]

Jake...yeah, it's me again. Can't seem to help it! I was reading today in My Utmost for His Highest. I hope you don't mind me sharing it with you.
"God is never in a hurry." "....God has to take us into the valley, and put us through fires and floods to batter us into shape, until we get to the place where He can trust us with the veritable reality." "Don't lose heart in the process. .....you may try as you like to be satisfied on a lower level, but God will never let you."
I just thought that was good and maybe that would encourage you today to stand firm and strong.
So I let my eyes wonder to tomorrow's reading so I will just quote this one thing.
"If we are going to live as disciples of Jesus, we have to remember that all noble things are difficult. The Christian life is gloriously difficult, but the difficulty of it does not make us faint and cave in, it rouses us up to overcome."
I know that you want to do what God wants you to do so I know that you can overcome!! My prayers are with you!!

 

[hlaltimus]

Hi, I do very much sympathize with your pain, (and great pain it is,) because I have also "been there...done that." I also led a life through my early 20's that was greatly devoted to the Lord, yet only found successive failure after failure from all female prospects, and also a very severe depression that threatened my life as well. In order of occurrence though, it was more the depression that came first and had to be delt with or I wouldn't have succeeded with anything at all upon Earth. I tremble to advise you in this matter though as I don't know exactly what is the true cause(s) of your depression...(that is,)...whether it is soley caused by loneliness and the vacuity of love, or whether it is a combination of this plus something more diabolical in nature added upon it. My depression was mostly the later, and that's why I fear that you may assume that my cure will also apply to your problem, when in fact you are a different person under what must be somewhat different circumstances than I was, and therefore please be cautious and prudent about the sincere advice from anyone at all, because even though they do love you, they are still not really you.

My depression was definitely demonic in origin, (I don't say that yours is though,) and when I delt with it knowing and believing that, I eventually received complete deliverence from my so called "depression", and that deliverence has continued to this day. I also happen to agree with "gabrielListens" that something is up in God's present dispensation to this particular generation. Look for more, (and not less,) of this "fire baptism", as I think that the Lord is testing an entire generation to determine who will and who will not be accounted worthy to, "be counted worthy to escape all the these things that will come to pass, and to stand before the Son of Man" in Luke 21:36b. This must be taken very seriously if we are indeed standing at the very threshold or doorway of the second advent of Christ our Savior, as the sanctified saints who are accounted worthy by being purified through the fires of personal tribulation, will altogether miss both the far greater fires of suffering and public tribulation that lay ahead, and will never, ever, even see those terrible fires of perdition that lay beyond the grave.

As to my problem getting a girl: One day I attended a rather large Church, (mostly for the purpose of meeting a girl,) but I met with the accustomed block wall all over again. This really blew my mind!!! I saw girl after girl snagging guys, some of whom I esteemed to be spiritualized ragamuffins, while I was predictably rejected. Like you, I knew that I wasn't a perfect man and still am not, but something was beginning to smell awfully fishy about this pattern of failure. As I walked out of the Church and across the lot, I opened the door to my C10 truck, got in and closed the door, and then just sat there in a "blah" mood, but began to pray. It was a very good idea as that prayer must have reached God's ears. The light began to slowly dawn upon my otherwise darkened mind that all of this couldn't possibly be a coincidence...It was almost as if something or someone had been "setting me up" all along, and I then began to apprehend just who that "someone" was. As the light grew stronger and yet brighter, I almost yelled out right there in my 1/2 Chevy, "Your doing this to me...aren't you Lord?" I then received the "peace of God that passes understanding" that He, indeed, had been the one who had been frustrating my every attempt towards a female relationship, but why? God then convicted me that He was not going to allow me the normal liberty of choosing my own marital partner, but that this was an election that He would reserve the rights to Himself. He would not allow me to pick out my own partner no matter how hard I tried then or ever, but there was one other way out. While the celestial wind of divine illumination was still blowing over my jubilant soul right there in that truck, I made the following prayer to Him, and I repeat it to you as it went something near to this:

"Lord, if you will pick out a girl for me, I promise to you that I will take her sight unseen."

I meant it and I believed it. Within about a month or so after making this vow or prayer of sorts, I met her who is my present wife, and we have sensed God's presence in our marriage from the very start, differences, adjustments, trials and all. All of those other girls may have been suitable in both my eyes and the valuation of others, but He who made both me and them was a far better judge of just which girl would be right for me or I for them, and He was totally right. Whom would or could a perfect God pick out for me other than a perfect choice? Would He spoil His record to perfection by selecting for me an entirely unsuitable mate? He didn't, I still praise Him to this day for all of those past "failures", which disappointments only qualified me for the blessings that followed in His way and in His timing. There is a present firey test that we must all pass through to a point known only in His knowledge, but He requires us to walk through no fires that He has not first passed through Himself, and when the dead corpes of all of Pharaoh's charioteers are floating up upon the shores of eternity and final judgment, we will then have much cause for eternal praise.

 

[Shadolus]

Jake...yeah, it's me again. Can't seem to help it! I was reading today in My Utmost for His Highest. I hope you don't mind me sharing it with you.
"God is never in a hurry." "....God has to take us into the valley, and put us through fires and floods to batter us into shape, until we get to the place where He can trust us with the veritable reality." "Don't lose heart in the process. .....you may try as you like to be satisfied on a lower level, but God will never let you."
I just thought that was good and maybe that would encourage you today to stand firm and strong.
So I let my eyes wonder to tomorrow's reading so I will just quote this one thing.
"If we are going to live as disciples of Jesus, we have to remember that all noble things are difficult. The Christian life is gloriously difficult, but the difficulty of it does not make us faint and cave in, it rouses us up to overcome."
I know that you want to do what God wants you to do so I know that you can overcome!! My prayers are with you!!

I'm so glad you share your daily learnings and experiences with me, I'm honored. At first I thought this forum was kind of cheezy but through all the crazy perspectives, God has brought to light authentic Christians who share His wisdom to advize me through seemingly unbeatable sitautions. I ultimately give God the glory, for it is Him who has layed the foundation of this recourse and Him who directed and orchastrated my trained heart to interpret his true wisdom through His people. God bless you and never shy away from sharing anything God has shown you.

Take care, Jake

Hi, I do very much sympathize with your pain, (and great pain it is,) because I have also "been there...done that." I also led a life through my early 20's that was greatly devoted to the Lord, yet only found successive failure after failure from all female prospects, and also a very severe depression that threatened my life as well. In order of occurrence though, it was more the depression that came first and had to be delt with or I wouldn't have succeeded with anything at all upon Earth. I tremble to advise you in this matter though as I don't know exactly what is the true cause(s) of your depression...(that is,)...whether it is soley caused by loneliness and the vacuity of love, or whether it is a combination of this plus something more diabolical in nature added upon it. My depression was mostly the later, and that's why I fear that you may assume that my cure will also apply to your problem, when in fact you are a different person under what must be somewhat different circumstances than I was, and therefore please be cautious and prudent about the sincere advice from anyone at all, because even though they do love you, they are still not really you.

My depression was definitely demonic in origin, (I don't say that yours is though,) and when I delt with it knowing and believing that, I eventually received complete deliverence from my so called "depression", and that deliverence has continued to this day. I also happen to agree with "gabrielListens" that something is up in God's present dispensation to this particular generation. Look for more, (and not less,) of this "fire baptism", as I think that the Lord is testing an entire generation to determine who will and who will not be accounted worthy to, "be counted worthy to escape all the these things that will come to pass, and to stand before the Son of Man" in Luke 21:36b. This must be taken very seriously if we are indeed standing at the very threshold or doorway of the second advent of Christ our Savior, as the sanctified saints who are accounted worthy by being purified through the fires of personal tribulation, will altogether miss both the far greater fires of suffering and public tribulation that lay ahead, and will never, ever, even see those terrible fires of perdition that lay beyond the grave.

As to my problem getting a girl: One day I attended a rather large Church, (mostly for the purpose of meeting a girl,) but I met with the accustomed block wall all over again. This really blew my mind!!! I saw girl after girl snagging guys, some of whom I esteemed to be spiritualized ragamuffins, while I was predictably rejected. Like you, I knew that I wasn't a perfect man and still am not, but something was beginning to smell awfully fishy about this pattern of failure. As I walked out of the Church and across the lot, I opened the door to my C10 truck, got in and closed the door, and then just sat there in a "blah" mood, but began to pray. It was a very good idea as that prayer must have reached God's ears. The light began to slowly dawn upon my otherwise darkened mind that all of this couldn't possibly be a coincidence...It was almost as if something or someone had been "setting me up" all along, and I then began to apprehend just who that "someone" was. As the light grew stronger and yet brighter, I almost yelled out right there in my 1/2 Chevy, "Your doing this to me...aren't you Lord?" I then received the "peace of God that passes understanding" that He, indeed, had been the one who had been frustrating my every attempt towards a female relationship, but why? God then convicted me that He was not going to allow me the normal liberty of choosing my own marital partner, but that this was an election that He would reserve the rights to Himself. He would not allow me to pick out my own partner no matter how hard I tried then or ever, but there was one other way out. While the celestial wind of divine illumination was still blowing over my jubilant soul right there in that truck, I made the following prayer to Him, and I repeat it to you as it went something near to this:

"Lord, if you will pick out a girl for me, I promise to you that I will take her sight unseen."

I meant it and I believed it. Within about a month or so after making this vow or prayer of sorts, I met her who is my present wife, and we have sensed God's presence in our marriage from the very start, differences, adjustments, trials and all. All of those other girls may have been suitable in both my eyes and the valuation of others, but He who made both me and them was a far better judge of just which girl would be right for me or I for them, and He was totally right. Whom would or could a perfect God pick out for me other than a perfect choice? Would He spoil His record to perfection by selecting for me an entirely unsuitable mate? He didn't, I still praise Him to this day for all of those past "failures", which disappointments only qualified me for the blessings that followed in His way and in His timing. There is a present firey test that we must all pass through to a point known only in His knowledge, but He requires us to walk through no fires that He has not first passed through Himself, and when the dead corpes of all of Pharaoh's charioteers are floating up upon the shores of eternity and final judgment, we will then have much cause for eternal praise.

Are you an English major? that was very impressive! I take to heart what you say and you make very sound the logic for God's intervention in my life concerning the wait for my wife. I too give God complete control over the choice of my wife, I just ask that He gives me the discernment as to who she is when she comes and the confidence to engage in conversation. Its funny because I just started going to a large church and have had very similar conversations with God as well so that is encouraging and hopeful. Thank you for taking the time to write such a quality reply and I pray God continually blesses your marriage. Take care brother and may God's love continue to carry you.